Star Gazing
by cupcakekiller12
Summary: Janet Forest wouldn't exactly put herself in the 'normal' category of people. Forced into the army she works beside her friend Alex Lannen. After a series of events secrets come out-the past comes back to haunt-and people who were suppose to be dead come back alive and well. I guess anything is possible in Vega...
1. Dreaming In Star Dust

**Hey! New Story! Oh and as you read it please keep in mind I have only watched 2 episodes so far and haven't watched Legion-so if anyone is out of character don't kill me over it. Anyway-I am really not good at fighting scenes so don't kill me over those too. Soooo... yeah right I don't own anything related to Dominion I only own my O.C's (and if anyone can tell me that little girls name that Alex looks over that'd be great-considering I can't find it anywhere on the internet)**** Anyway enjoy the story-cupcakekiller12**

My mom used to say when people die; their spirits go into the sky and light the way for people who need help. They form constellations to tell their stories and the ways of their life. The stars tell stories of love and disaster, and they can lead a man to home too.

I wasn't suppose to be here but being cooped up inside those walls all day is so annoying and besides, they don't notice me being gone considered I'm a V1, nobody really notices me when I'm gone but I don't really care, not like dying isn't my main concern anyway, it's living to see another day is what I am worried about.

Being in the lowest caste I don't get 3 meals a day, hell I barely can get a snack when I can. I live on scraps, and in tunnels in the cold, wet; dirt. My cloths are dirty, my hair smells, and I do steal to survive, but not enough to be noticed, I'm not being greedy; I'm helping myself survive.

Now how did I get here to be exact? I'm an orphan; yeah I know same old story right? Now I'm on my own, without a care in the world, and on a breaking point-cut the crap, yes I lost my parents, but I lost them a long-long time ago, I can barely remember their faces anyway.

Um...; I'm 23, I was born in Maine, and moved around from there, Connecticut, South Carolina, Florida, Texas, North Dakota, and finally my parents and I set our roots down in Nevada. Then this that and the other happened, and here I am, in Vega, in the lowest cast, and with some crazy tattoos one my body.

Yep life is GREAT!

Getting out is easy, getting in without anyone noticing you is the hard part. So going through the front is out, the back entrance is guarded, so the tunnels are the only way in without getting punished by Michael.

The tunnels are of course-dirty, but no one ever goes out this far away from Vega, because apparently it's 'dangerous' and 'against the rules', but who the hell has time for rules it's practically the end of the world and the human race on the brink of extinction, like 'yeah I like the rules-they keep me safe-but rules that make me stay inside all day and barely let me eat anything-yeah I don't acknowledge those really…'.

My old shoes were covered in mud and slightly wet with left over water that almost covered them, and not caring what sound I made, I let my tired legs stomp as much as they want. Man what wouldn't I do just to have a nice, real bed, a warm blanket, and a pillow? As I made my trek back into the walls I thought about my friends, Alex, he's a nice guy, having a relationship with the princess, Claire, he used to be in V1 but he got into the army and sort of forgot about me you could say, like we still talk and all but like only once a week and sometimes months, but only for a few minutes.

Michael isn't as much as a friend as an enforcer, but he can have a heart once every blue moon. I don't know any one the generals, or house leaders, because I've hated them too much to care what their names are. Oh and I'm not really into that 'chosen' crap either, why should I pray to someone when I don't even know they exist?  
Pulling myself out of my thoughts I looked around and saw I was once again in Vega, great, home sweet home? Conditions weren't the best yet they weren't the worst. No one was really awake, and I was more like sleep walking then actually paying attention, then I bumped into someone, which knocked me out of my trance, "Hm-sorry,"

"Its alright-wait Janet-is that you?" Alex wondered.

"Alex," I questioned.

"Oh my god, I haven't seen you in months, where have you been?" He wondered.

Starving, walking, stealing; escaping, "Around," I lied, "What about you,"  
Protecting, kissing, eating, shooting, "I've been at Riesen house doing my job." He informed.

"And you are very good at it," I complimented, "How's Claire?"  
"She's good-she's good," he smiled and then scanned me, "Have you been eating?"  
I avoided the question all together, "Is Michael being-well-Michael?"

"Well I went outside of the walls today and I came back got caught, then got whipped twice, but other then that I guess-"

"Hey Alex, you going to bed or what," shouted one of his friends.

"COMING," he yelled and turned to me, "I have to-"  
"It's fine, I've got to go anyway, I'll catch up with you when I can." I interrupted; he smiled, nodded, and then jogged back to his beds. I turned around and started heading back when I muttered to myself, "That'll be the day."

When I slept I dreamt of nothing, because I had nothing to dream about. I had nothing to be afraid of and noting to hope for.

"Janet-Janet-please wake up-please wake up." A voice begged.

"5 more minutes," I replied turning over on my side.

"Please,"

I groaned, "Fine," then sat up and looked at my wake up call, "How late is it?"

"I know it is past Breakfast," she informed.

"Great that's much help." I stated, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Did you get any food on the last trip?"

I nodded, "A few cans, of fruit and beans."  
"Really that's great-" Lana started.

"Janet Forest," stated a solider,

"Yes," I wondered.

"You need to come with me." He informed.

I sighed and looked at Lana, "I'll back," getting up I looked at the man, "What ever I did-I didn't do it."

I walked into a room with Michael, and 2 old dudes, "Hello Janet," one of them greeted.

"What ever you guys think I did I swear I didn't do it." I insisted.

"You aren't in trouble." The man stated.

"Then why am I here?" I wondered, "If I'm not in trouble."  
"We have an offer for you."  
Considering I don't even know these guys names this is going to be a bit of a weird conversation, "Um, sorry, but I don't really know you guys though-well except Michael."  
"I'm General Riesen." Informed the bald man,

"Ohhh now that make sense, your Claire's dad." I figured out, "And you,"

"I'm David Whele, Secretary of Commerce."

"And you're William's dad, hm, I kind of see the resemblance-anyway so what am I doing here?" I asked again.

"You are going to join the army." He informed.

All my playfulness fell away, "Um-I-I can't, I can't even fight."

"Oh I'm sure you can." David figured, "But I wasn't asking for your opinion."  
"Are you sure you got the right person I mean like there could be like 40 other Janets' in Vega." I thought.

"Yes, but you are the only Janet Forest in Vega." He insisted, "In the Army you'll have 3 meals a day, new cloths, a bed, and a shower-does that sound good to you?"  
I couldn't lie it did, "Yes,"

"Then will you join?" General Risen asked

"Fine, I'll join." I caved.

David smiled, "Great-but lets test your skills shall we? Alex come here,"

Oh this is going to be FUN!  
*************************************************************

Alex came over, uniform and all, "Yes sir,"

"I would like you to fight Miss Forest-as a test of course."

He sighed and looked at me as if apologizing, "Don't worry about it," I assured.

"Shouldn't she at least have a weapon?"

"She'll be fine, well begin…"

Alex turned and looked at me and put his hands up and so did I-this was about to get interesting.

Reluctantly he swung first, I just avoided it. We went around in circles, just throwing punches aimlessly. Finally Alex landed a punch on my shoulder, it felt like a sledgehammer, I let out a small cry of pain and was distracted and he nailed me again in my nose.

I was knocked back a few steps and fell back, the men laughed, "Nice job Alex."

Sighing I saw a moment of opportunity, he was turned around, so I stood back up and started running and football tackled him to the ground.

I laughed as he looked at me in shock, "What, the opponent is never down until you kill them."  
He smiled and chuckled, "You act like a 12 year old."

"And you don't," I replied, but the truth is that once mom and dad passed I only had Alex but then he went into the army and I guess acting like an immature 12 year old is the safety net or the wall that prevents me from going insane, "Ah I miss old times."  
"Eh, I like the present." He shrugged.

Playfully I punched him in the arm, "Hey I was in your past, and if we weren't scrounging to survive, I'd say we had a pretty good time!"

"Ok-ok," he sighed, "So-"

Michael cleared his throat and we looked up, "Oh right, I guess I'll see you later…"

They gave me a towel, new cloths, and some stuff to clean my hair, then led me to an empty shower room, and left me to clean myself.

And I had no idea I was so dirty, like at all, my skin was covered in dirt-to cover my tattoos-there was no other way, I had no make-up, or anything, so I had to use mud.

Next I dried up and put on the uniform, it was blue long sleeved shirt with a badge on it, long Khaki pants, black tennis shoes, and belt thingy that had a pack at the knee with supplies in it-I've seen Alex wear it from time to time-but never knew what it was.

"Here's your gun,"

"Ok…" I trailed.

"Oh please don't tell me you don't know how to shoot a gun." The person begged.

"No, I know how to shoot I gun." I replied, I was just surprised they are trusting me on my word and not giving me a test. Like you're giving me a lethal weapon and you barely know me-doesn't that seem a little bit strange to you? Well it is the army…

"Oh thank god." The person sighed, "You'll be stationed with Alex at the Riesen House."

**Time Skip…**

"Do you still go out and watch the stars?" Alex wondered.

"Yeah…I went a few days ago, the night before I was drafted." I informed.

"How was it?"

"Beautiful," I simply stated, "I thought about going tonight but…"  
"But…" he repeated.

"I had somewhere to be, people to defend, positions to be at-I don't know how you deal with it-people expecting you to be everywhere." I sighed.

"You don't need to be everywhere just at the right places." Alex pointed out, "How'd you do it?"

"Do what," I asked.

"Get back in without them noticing, I got whipped the other day for going out without permission." He informed, "How did you not get caught?"

"I have my ways,"

"Star gazing that sounds like fun," Claire stated, interrupting our conversation.

"It is Princess Claire, especially when you aren't inside the walls." I informed.

"I'll have to do it one day." She smiled.

"I bet you will."

"Alex Lannen I need to speak with you." Michael stated.

"I'd highly suggest you go with him unless you want your ass kicked 12 ways to Sunday." I whispered, "Don't worry I'll be here when you get back."

He chuckled and went with Michael.

Michael-man how do you describe a guy like him, for some reason when I first saw him-he looked confident or I guess self assured-I dunno I hardly know the guy and you expect me to describe him , but I have to give him credit- going against God's orders earns him some points from me. Then, once in awhile he can be sweet or humble what ever you want me to admit-and yes he is rather good looking-and don't you dare tell him I said that. Even though he does have a rather flat personality,

Anyway, he can be rather a be too serious sometimes…I don't know mean-like I get it we aren't allowed to go out of the gates but you I got back in one piece, and I wasn't attacked by Angels-doesn't that get me any sympathy?

But I guess he isn't all bad, he did sorta save the human race from being exterminated-and he probably won't admit it but he does look out for specific people *cough* Alex *cough*.

"Whatca thinking about," Claire wondered as she moved towards the window, looking out viewing the street filled with people.

"Nothing really," I shrugged, "How are things going with Alex and all-is it still 'forbidden love'-oh are you going to get married?"

A perfect smiled formed on her face, God now I understand why Alex loves her so much-she's perfect is everyway, "I am going to ask my father about it, but the last time I did-"  
"He really didn't listen and got off into another subject?" I finished.

She sighed, "Wow, look at you, reading people like an open book."  
"Not that hard to read you," I chuckled, "It must be nice living here, being the General's daughter; I haven't seen anything so nice before."

"It can get boring from time to time-always being guarded, and never allowed outside the walls." She informed and turned to sit down on her bed, "Do you ever wish things were normal?"

"There is no such thing as normal; it's just a word that we put on things to make ourselves feel better." I reported, "But if there was such thing as normal world-I don't think I'd go back to it."

"Why,"

"Because this is just so much more fun," I chuckled.

**Time Travel…**

The stars were beautiful tonight; they were shinning like twinkling diamonds. Everyone was different, like snowflakes, and together they formed a picture that told myths, and stories, and legends.

To some people they are just far away things and don't mean anything.

And to some they are just burning balls of gasses and fire mixed together.

But to me, they remind me of people, they born-they live-they die-and depending on how bright they are is how they can be seen.

Too bad to can't see them in the day, they disappear from sight and mind. Like going home from school, once you are gone-you could care less about what your lunch buddy is doing.

For a moment there is peace, for the moment the world is still, and for the night the world is calm.

…to bad it couldn't last for a little while longer.

I wasn't that far away from Vega, so I could hear all the, "ALERT, ALERT, ALERT, ALERT."  
There were red lighted signs and people screaming, and things flying in the sky. What was happening, what could have gone wrong the day I decided to not show up for work?

Rushing to the tunnels I saw Lana huddled in a corner, "Lana-Lana," I shook her, "Lana, I'm here, it's me, Janet."  
Her frightened eyes looked at me, "J-Janet,"  
"I'm right here, now come on, we need to get to safety." I informed, she nodded and held her arms out and I picked her up then ran to where I knew Princess Claire and Alex would be.

Running through the building I found a scanner, "Please God, if you don't hate me let his work."  
Pressing my hand against the black scanner the door opened, "Sorry I'm late to the party." I apologized and set Lena down, "Don't say a word."

Some people gave me a glare while others we glad to see me, "Janet," Alex said, "Where'd you go, I couldn't find you!"  
_How do you get yourself out this hole Janet?_

"Um, I was making sure everyone got to safety…" I lied, "Is Claire ok?"

"Yeah she's fine," he stated, "Just everyone is a little…"

"Panicked," I finished.

"Janet," Claire gasped and hugged me against my will, "I was so worried that you got lost in the rush!"

She let go, and scanned me, "I'm fine really Claire,"  
After everyone went back to what they were doing I was greeted by a man, "Um…hello…"

"Hi," he replied.

"Can I help you with anything?" I wondered.

"Where were you really?"

"Helping people," I shrugged, lying again.

"Then why is your back all dirty?"  
"That I can't really explain…"  
He chuckled, "I'm Jeep, Alex's dad."

"He said you were dead." I informed.

Jeep shrugged, "He doesn't really like me at the moment, but he wasn't alone though."  
I wanted to scream at him, _wasn't alone-wasn't alone, what are you talking about you left him the lowest caste, if he hadn't gone into the army or if he didn't have me as a friend he wouldn't have survived!_

Scanning him, he seemed harmless, not deadly, "Nice tattoos, when'd you get them?"

"Uh-a while back," he stated.

"There's Michael," shouted one of the members inside the bunker.

I looked at the screen, he was approaching a man, covered in red armor, and as much as he looks threatening-Michael is probably going to win.

I mean like the guys a bad ass; he's probably the picture that is next to the word _Bad Ass _in the dictionary.

"He'll be fine." I said.

"Why,"

"Because he's the last hope we got left."

During Michael's fight something happened to the generators, something rammed into power plant, everything-the computer-to lights-everything went dark.

"What the hell just happened?" Someone asked.

Soon the emergency power kicked in, the light flickered and finally stayed on.

Everyone was in shock, Vega; one of the safer places on this Earth that we know of had just been invaded. Our home destroyed, how could this happen? Just the other day I was talking to Princess Claire about star gazing and wishing; now we are in a bunker looking at our town in disarray. Now what do we do, go back to our normal daily lives like nothing had happened?

"It's alright the emergency power is on now." Secretary Whele stated, "Arika, the damage is not great, we can repair it."

She nodded understanding, but without warning another disaster struck, that boy who traveled with them, took off mask that covered his face and took knife that was on the table and stabbed Alex's dad. He then took off his robes and climbed up into the air vents.

"Dad," gasped Alex and raced to catch him, he then lowered him down, "No…"  
"I-it's alright son," Jeep barely replied, he was fading quickly, "There is something I need to tell you…"

"What-what is it?"

"Y-you are… The Chosen One…" the last words from a dying man was to bestow a curse on to his only son; the fate of the world rests in his hands now. And the course of humanity itself has been willed to him, will he save it-or will he destroy it?  
I looked around, crap Lana, soon I went to her side and cover her eyes and turn around and whispered softly into her ear, "Cover your ears, and don't look back until I tell you to."

She nodded.

"Oh and you heard nothing and if you did you wouldn't breath a word, because words can not be taken back so easily as actions." I commanded.

"I won't I swear." She declared.

"Good girl," I smiled and turned to Alex, "Alex, I'm so sorry…"  
Soon he started looking at his arms, and the tattoos that were once on Jeep were appearing on him, "Well that's new," I commented, even though I was once in his position, when my parents died I was cursed too with dad's tattoos that he wore. They were like a rash I could never get rid of, so eventually I just got used to hiding them.

And then as if on cue Michael walks in, "Alex let me see your arm."  
Obediently he showed them too him, "Hm, it seems you have finally gained them."  
He looked around saw me and then the Secretary saw me… and Lana, "Who the hell is that?"

"Um…"

"What level is she?" He continued.

"V1…" I trailed.

"WHY THE HELL IS SHE HERE THEN AND WHY IS THAT THING HERE TOO?"  
"I brought them here, they are under my protection." Claire answered.

_Thank You, _I mouthed, she nodded as a reply-great now I owe her.

"Anyway, Alex is the baby I saved years ago." Michael finished, and left the room.

**Time Skippdy….**

"Hey General, why isn't Alex here?" I wondered.

"He's been reassigned," he stated.

"To where," I continued.

"To the Whele house," he answered.

Are you kidding me?

"Ah… I see…" I replied.

He knew about Clair and Alex, but for how long though.

It was getting dark and I was roaming through the halls boredly, but without looking. I bumped into a maid, she was carrying a tray full of plates and glasses, being surprised she dropped it, "So sorry," I apologized.

"Oh it's alright," she smiled and I helped her clean it, at one point I think my sleeve my have risen, but no enough to see my tattoos-could it have? I noticed her freeze.

"You ok," I asked.

The maid nodded and continued on her way.

I guess she just dozed off or something, shrugging it off I continued on my way to the Princess door, but something stopped me on the way, "Janet," said a sweet voice, the maid, didn't she have somewhere else to be?

Turning around I wondered, "Yes-can I help you with something?"  
Slowly she unleashed her jet black feathered wings and pointed teeth, "You can let me kill you."  
Uh oh…

"U-um…" I started, but she cut me off by throwing me against the wall.

"What the heck going on here?" Asked my partner as he entered the hall way and I looked at him as he drew his gun.

"NO," I screamed but it was too late, the creature had killed him before I could save him.

Quickly she grabbed my shirt, and hit my body against the wall with as much force as she could muster, "I think you've got me confused with someone else-AH."  
Pain surged through my body, "I-I really think you've got the wrong person…"  
"Janet…" gasped Claire.

Glancing at her it took me a few trys to finally realize where she was, "C-Claire, run!"

She stood terrified in her place, "I said RUN!"  
Slowly she took a few steps back, but the monster threw on of the knife sharp feathers at her. It grazed her arm but it was enough to send her to the ground, "CLAIRE,"

But in the moment of my weakness I was thrown across the room, "F-fine you want a fight you little dirty crow I'll give you one!"

Launching myself at her I grabbed her head and slammed it on to the vary wall I had be hit at, the maid groaned in pain, but she quickly took control of the situation and with full force hit my head on the corner of some desk or table.

My vision started to blur and dots cornered my eyes but I refused to give in, "It's me you want right…t-then you'll follow me…" I assumed and sluggishly ran to a random room, of course the angel followed me with the same intentions she's had.

Looking at my surrounding I saw a gas can and I had a lighter in my belt thingy, and there for set my plan into action.

Quickly I took out the tube and pumped the gas into the air and dug my sliver lighter out of my pocket.

The angle smiled evilly at me, her eyes soulless, "Looks like you've run out of hiding spaces Chosen One."

"You should be the one hiding." I chuckled and lit the sliver box and threw it at her. The air caught aflame and gathered around her like glue, caught by surprise she tried to fly out but her wings had caught fire alone with her body.

Finally I was alone, alone and in pain.

Again I had escaped death, but for how much longer could I say it wasn't lurking around taunting and teasing me?

I didn't know how long I was sitting there up against the wall till I finally got up and went to go see if anyone noticed what had happened.

There was a medical team working on the Princess, "Janet…"

I smiled as my vision went blurry, like as if I was looking through a car window, the world was spinning, and my knees started to buckle and my loose grip on reality fall apart, then my world full of light turned off like a switch.

When I awoke I was in a hospital room, a monitor beeped with the rhythm of my heart, _where am I? How long have been out?  
_ The door opened and a man smiled, "Ah… it seems you're awake, hi I'm Dr. Kline."  
"Janet," I stated, "Where am I?"

"At St. Joseph Memorial Hospital, you were in a car accident, and you've been in a coma for a few weeks." Kline informed.

"What," I wondered.

"Do you not remember," he asked.

I shook my head, "No, I only remember being hit in the head."

"Well you did hit your head pretty hard." He stated, "I guess it was a good this you didn't remember the accident, it was rather traumatic."  
"Was I with anyone else," I asked.

"No, it was only you." The doctor assured as he looked at his papers, "I'll call your next of kin."  
_How did I end up here, I remember I was in Vega, I fainted, but as far as I know there isn't any St. Joseph Memorial Hospital in Vega._

"Oh my God Janet thank God you are alright." Claire gasped as she hugged me.

_Wait what, Princess Claire-when did she get here? I was just talking to Dr. Kline. _

"Princess Claire," I wondered.

"Awe, thank you for the compliment," she smiled.

_Compliment-since when was that a compliment- it was a title-given to her by her father._

"Where's Alex," I asked.

"He's on his way over," Claire informed, she

-"Hey I've heard you woke up." Alex stated, he was wearing a dirt colored leather jacket and a white t-shirt with some blue jeans. Wait what happened to his uniform? And his tattoos,

"Yeah-has Michael heard?"

A confused look entered on their faces, "Who's Michael,"

"Michael, you don't know him-he's like an Archangel, sometimes really scary?" I said, they must be joking with me.

"You must have had one crazy dream," Alex thought.

"Yeah I guess…"

Opening my eyes again I was in an apartment-with Alex and Claire, "Well we are…"

"Where are we?"

"Your apartment," Alex pointed out, "Don't worry nobody has touched your stuff since the accident."

"Ok…uh-so what do you guys want to do?" I wondered as I looked through out the room it was cleaner then I thought I would have if I ever had a real room. The kitchen was sparkling clean-like it was brand new. The furniture was neatly put together-all pillows were in their place perfectly. Colorful magazines were put in a woven basket, and books were in orderly and lined up in the bookcase.

There were two bed rooms and 2 and a half bathrooms. My room was again clean like the rest of the apartment; it looked like as if he had never been touched. The blankets were tucked in and it looked like there was an ocean of pillows. This can't be my room-my bunk isn't even this orderly.

As I entered back into the foyer Alex and Claire were gone, it was like they were never even here. I didn't even hear them leave.

Where they'd go? Opening the door and bright light shined in my eyes.

Soon I was walking around in-a library, "Miss, can I help you with something?"

"Hm, no not really,"

Walking around I looked at the books-I haven't seen so many in one place before that weren't half burned, destroyed, left to just rot, or covered in thick layers of dust. But it isn't that I don't read, it's just that a lot of these titles I just don't know or didn't even know they still existed, _I am Number 4, Maximum Ride, Alex Rider, Ruby Red, _I guess now I have time to read them all now?  
Trailing my fingers on the spines of books that seemed new to me, but without realizing I bumped into some one, "So sorry,"

"It's alright," said a too familiar voice, where had I heard that voice before?

Looking up I saw a short brown haired and pale face, the man wore a grayish t-shirt and dark khaki pants.

I started to help him pick up his, books, "I'm Janet,"

The man smiled, "I'm Michael,"

As if time were skipped, I was at a dinner table looking at Michael's face, he was smiling, "I think you're beautiful,"

This isn't right-where have I seen him before, "I think you're handsome," I compliment.

He chuckled, "Wake up,"

"Huh," I wondered.

"Order up," he repeated as he took a sip of his red wine, "The waiter is here,"

Looking around I saw a girl with a pen and a note pad, "What can I get'cha?"

**********************************************************  
Waking up in my bed I looked around, how'd I get here? _You drove remember?_ A little voice in my head said to me, right, I had dinner with Michael and we drove in separate cars and I went home and fell asleep._ And you've got work to do._

As soon as I thought of it-I was in a padded chair, in a glass walled office. Where did I work again? _You work for an insurance company._ Right-insurance, I had a project I needed to finish today. Turning on the computer I started to sign and it didn't even feel like a minute when the clock read 1:42. That meant lunch,

"It's nice that you've met me," I smiled as I looked at Michael-this can't be-this doesn't feel right at all.

"It was nice that you asked me to meet you." He replied sipping his coffee.

I don't even know what happened all I know was that I was in my apartment, in my bathroom, looking in my mirror, it was covered in dew, and I think I'm going crazy, I saw myself, I had a bleeding cut on my forehead, reaching up to feel it I felt something sticky, I put my hand in front of my eyes, and saw a thick red substance, and suddenly my head felt like a grenade was exploding in it.

I fell down clutching my head, holding back my screams of pain, and as quick as it came it was gone. Looking back in the mirror it was plain, just covered in dew, nothing more-just a normal mirror.

That moment was gone and I was in a new place, I didn't recognize the interior-wait no-yes I did-do I?

The room-no we were outside-in a backyard I think?

White lights were strung up around the gazebo and a slow romantic song was playing, and Michael was talking to me as we slow danced.

"You didn't have to do this." I pointed out.

He chuckled, "You're right I didn't but-" he spun me around, "When you told me you didn't go to Prom-I figured I'd make it up to you."  
"That was sweet of you," I smiled; Michael dipped me down and brought me back up.

"Michael do you ever feel like you are just dreaming," I wondered out of the blue.

"Only when I am with you," he flirted, "When you're not around I fell like I don't exist."  
"Well sometimes it feels like I still just met you." I confessed.

"Because you meet me everyday," he chuckled and as I looked over her shoulder I saw Alex-at least I think it was Alex but he looked different.

"Alex," I accidentally said out loud.

"Hm, what did you say," Michael wondered.

"Alex-he's right over there-" I pointed and he looked around.

"I think you are just seeing things," he thought as I stepped back, and took a good look at him.

This isn't Michael…this isn't who he is-he's not like this-he doesn't love me-I don't even think he really knows me…

"Wait Alex," I ran after him but he started to walk off, "Wait-come back!"  
But he wouldn't turn back-he continued on his way, "Alex come on,"

Twisting turning I continued on my chase.

I wanted my old life back, I didn't want normality, I wanted weird. I wanted Michael to act like he's weird boring self! I want Alex and Claire to be apart of my life like they always are. I need to be back in Vega. I want to see Lana, Alex and his little blond girl, Princess Claire, the General, the Secretary. God I wanted to be back in land where humanity was almost gone! Normal is hell! Normal is driving me insane!

The world around turned a blinding white, and finally with full speed I went back into the world I most wanted to be apart of.

Gasping back to life I woke to an empty room, and I was still in my cloths. Without a second thought I ran to Riesen House to see Princess Claire, the most perfect person I know.

Rounding corners, going through endless halls I saw her, in a pale blue flowy dress, standing with Alex, "Princess Claire…" I breathed, "Alex,"  
Both of them looked at me shocked, "Janet,"  
Smiling I ran up and hugged the princess, "You have no idea how much I missed calling you by an honorific."

Then I did the same to Alex, "I never knew I could miss you wearing a uniform."

"W-when did you wake up?" He wondered.

"A few minutes ago," I shrugged.

"Do the doctors know?" Claire asked.

"No," I scoffed, "I'd rather die then be in that bed."  
"Why,"

"Most terrifying dream I've ever had." I stated.

"What happened?" Alex questioned.

"Everything was normal, Princess Claire was a normal girl, I barley saw you guys, and," I shuddered, "Michael was normal guy."  
They laughed, "You dreamed about Michael?"  
"Don't laugh, he had a personality, and you guys had no idea who he was. I met him in a library!" I explained, "Then the rest its way too complicated to explain."

"What was scary about him about normal?"

"I'd rather not say…" I said scratching my head, "But I'm awake, so who cares."

"I'd like to know," A voice piped up, we turned around Michael standing there an emotionless face, with his long leather jacket. Is it wrong that I miss that so dearly?  
"Oh don't worry about it," I dismissed.

"The doctors said you weren't in your room," he informed.

"Yeah, the last thing I wanted to be was to be put on bed rest." I said, "Besides I'm fine," I assured as I faced him.

"So what's so scary about me being normal?" He asked casually.

"Just trust me-you being you is way better." I informed and looked over in the door way to see Lana, "Lana…"

She smiled and ran towards me, "Janet,"

Hugging my side I picked her up, "Ah there we go-I missed you."  
Lana laced her arms around my neck, "I thought you left me."  
"Me-leave you-never in a million years," I said as I set her down, "Go find your friend I'll catch up with you in a few,"

Happily she ran out of the room and Michael was still looking at me, "What,"

The whole room had gone silent, and all 3 people were staring at me, "Say something will you, you're starting to-"

"Janet can I see your arm?" Michael asked.

That was a weird question-why would he want to see my arm? "Sure," I stuck it out and he examined it, "Why,"

Slowly he pulled up my long sleeved shirt to reveal tattoos-the tattoos I've hated forever-but how did I forget about them so easily? As a delayed reaction I pulled it away and shoved the blue sleeve down, "Sorry I forgot I have something to do-" rushing out of the room I ran up to Lana, "Hey."

"Janet," she smiled.

"Have you eaten yet?" I wondered.

She shook her head, "Great, let's go together then!"  
I know I can't avoid them forever-but lets just see how long I can not see or talk to Alex, Michael,-OR Princess Claire.

"How've you been?" I wondered as I ate some salad.

Lana shrugged, "A bit lonely, you haven't been around for a few days so…"  
"Well I'm here now aren't I?" I pointed out, "Anyway you're around Princess Claire and all-how was she while I was out?"  
She sighed, "She was worried-and couldn't stop talking about you, and she was constantly distracted and zoning out."

So she does really care-I guess that'll help me sleep at night.

"What did you dream about?" Lana asked curiously.

"The world was normal-everyone had normal jobs-and there were no Arkangles." I shrugged.

"What did it feel like?" She continued as she ate her food.

"I'd rather have this world then the normal world." I said.

"Why,"

"Because normal doesn't mean anything if my friends aren't who they are suppose to be." I stated.

Taking my time I walked back to the Riesen House, I didn't wasn't to face Alex or Princess Claire-and I especially didn't want to talk to Michael.

Walking to my post I stood outside the door just doing my job. "Hey Forest," my partner greeted,

"Hey Carrie," I replied.

"No smartass comebacks today? Maybe that knock to your head did something good to you?" She joked.

"Not in a comeback mood," I shrugged.

"Are you just in a lousy mood because you can't talk to the Princess all the time or talk to your boyfriend Alex when you want to?"

"Actually I've been trying to avoid them today," I replied.

"Why they get on your nerves or did they finally send you to your place?" She continued.

"I don't need to explain myself to you shortstuff." I pointed out.

Carrie smiled, "There's the Forest I know and love."

The door opened and Princess Claire looked at me, "Janet-can I talk to you please?"  
"Sure what is it?" I wondered.

"No in private," she clarified.

"I thought a solider wasn't supposed to be alone with the you." I said.

"I won't say anything," Carrie stated and pushed me in the room, "Have fun,"

God I hate her.

"What is it Princess Claire?" I said annoyed.

"How did you get those tattoos?" She wondered.

"Got passed down," I shrugged, "Family heirloom-or curse you could say."  
"Why didn't you say you had them?"

"Because I knew this would happen," I pointed out as I walked to the window, "I just wanted a sort of normal life-I didn't want any expectations. I didn't tell anyone because I hated them for as long as I've had them and I relate them to the death of my parents."  
"I've hid them for 12 years," I continued, "I haven't looked at them since I've got them."

"But if you can decode them then you can help save the human face!" Claire pointed out.

"No I can't Princess Claire! Alex is the Chosen One-he's the one destined to save the human race! Even if he thinks he can't or he won't he has to-because I can't." I insisted, "Didn't you hear Michael-Alex was the baby he saved!"

"But you have a destiny-a fate you can't escape," she said so calmly-how can she so calm about this?  
"Oh I'll find a way." I assured, "Now if you excuse me I have work to do."

As I tried to walk the door she grabbed my wrist, "No wait-please-Alex is going through the exact thing-if you even know him a little you know what this is like for him."

"What do you want me to do?" I wondered, "Tell him everything is going to be ok?"  
Ok-ok are you kidding me? If I was supposed to be the savoir of humanity I'd be under some serious pressure-like what if I couldn't save it? Or I failed? How could I live myself? At least Alex has Michael-he like the best body guard of all time.

"Just help him through it-maybe if he can relate to someone he can get his thoughts straight." Claire thought.

"Fine," I sighed, "I'll try,"

Leaving, I closed the door, "So did you and the Princess have a heart to heart?"  
"I've got a gun here and I'm not scared to use it," I grumbled, "If you say another word a bullet goes in between your eyes."

"Ok…someone got their feathers ruffled." She muttered.

In bed I closed my eyes-but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Every time I tried to just get in a zone where I could just sleep I would just be awakened by snoring or creaking of somebody flipping on another side. It seemed tonight wouldn't be a night I'd get all 8 hours of shut eye.

Tossing and turning I finally looked up at the bed above me, steel bars carried her weight.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I sat up and gathered my stuff and got ready to go out and just do something that didn't require me to sleep, but I knew someone would notice my absence so I left a note:

_**Ogne uto tsra agzgni, eb kcab osno- Janet Forest. **_

It was something believable-if Alex saw it he'd know where I'd be. Princess Claire maybe-Michael-I wouldn't put it past him-but it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't figure it out.

Twisting through the tunnels I finally found the open world-the real world was left in ashes. It was left to rot and collapse in on itself as the human race ran into walled up town s like Vega. Cars were covered in a thick of layers of dust, some where already rusted; I bet a few of the newer ones could be jump started into working again.

Some buildings on the outside looked like they had been abandoned for years on end, but they could still be useable. Meanwhile others were piles of bricks and wood on the ground, some were half caved in exposing their insides.

On the ground there was debris, empty bullet shells, building materials, shrapnel from explosions, broken glass. Personal items were scattered across the rode too- car keys, I.D's, wallets, cash, broken cell phones, a half used Camel cigarette case, lighters. There were some other things I didn't expect to be here, a teddy bear, a Halo action figure with an arm missing, a little baby sneaker, I guess some people took their kids with them-no matter what the cost-but I wonder how far they got before they realized terrors don't stay in the same place for long?

Is this the price of war?

Is this the price of fear?

To the victor go the spoils?  
But who won, the Angels didn't give up-they just went away meanwhile humanity was in ruin.

Was it worth it? Was it worth it God?  
Yanked out of my thoughts I heard a voice-a voice I've hated-loved-befriended, "You never change do you?"  
Turning around I saw a man with short almond colored hair and light grey- emerald eyes, "Still star gazing I see, does it still make you forget about your troubles-does it still make you feel free? Does it still make you feel like you are a kid?" He wondered, "Do they still tell the stories your mom told you? Are the still the same as they were 15 years ago?"

"The sky change everyday as do the cloths we wear change," I informed, "Dylan."

**Oh if you didn't know what the note said it said 'Gone out Star Gazing, be back soon'.**

**So did you like it? I thought it was fun. Oh and during the dream part Michael was purposely out of character, it's like the way she sort of wanted to be-if life was normal for them. If you liked it then great-if you didn't then I'm sorry my writing skills are not up to par with yours obviously. Oh and I did skip the part where Alex ran away and that Claire was engaged because I don't think Janet was told about it. And I didn't really tell about Arika because Janet doesn't really pay attention to her. Anyway-stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12 **


	2. Who The Heck Do You Think You Are?

**Hey! Welcome back! Before you read this I am just going to warn you that it is a bit more violent then the first one. it's I believe shorter then the first one-(I don't really keep track of word count) Just to sum it up a little Janet gets herself into more trouble...again. Anyway-I hope you like it and I'll see you guys later-cupcakekiller12**

**Previously on Star Gazing… **  
_Yanked out of my thoughts I heard a voice-a voice I've hated-loved-befriended, "You never change do you?"  
Turning around I saw a man with short almond colored hair and light grey- emerald eyes, "Still star gazing I see, does it still make you forget about your troubles-does it still make you feel free? Does it still make you feel like you are a kid?" He wondered, "Do they still tell the stories your mom told you? Are the still the same as they were 15 years ago?" _

"_The sky change everyday as do the cloths we wear change," I informed, "Dylan."_

"So you do remember me?" He smiled.

"More then I want to," I answered.

As I started moving away from him he said, "Look I'm sorry about leaving-but we both knew after what happened I couldn't stay."  
I paused and thought for a moment.

He promised that he wouldn't come back-he did something unforgivable-something not even I could forget.

"Why did you come back? Did you think that I would forgive you after what you did?" I wondered, "Or did you come by just to finish the job?"

Turning slightly I glanced at his face, it was pale, his cheeks were covered in a slight layer of dirt. Above it left eye was a scar-huh-I remember that scar, he got it from playing near the fire place. My mom was telling him to be careful-but of course being his stubborn self he tripped up on his own two bare feet and-well you know what happens next. Then there was a few scratch's here and there-but it's still Dylan.

Dylan's cloths were as same as ever-just in a bigger size, he wore a grey t-shirt and dirty blue jean, and a thin, brown coat.

"I know that I can never get you to forgive me Janet-because what I took from you was irreplaceable." He admitted, "But I can still try to make it up to you though-even if it doesn't work."  
"Then what are you going to do?" I asked.

He looked through his pockets and pulled out a silver locket on a silver chain, "I knew you lost it…so…"

Placing it gingerly in my hand, the locket was engraved with a name _Janet_, there was a tree on the other side, I chuckled as I opened it-it was me, I was maybe 4 or 3 years old, my hair still a dull red at the time, now it's more of a chocolate brown-it got darker over the years. My eyes stayed a light shade of blue though, like my fathers-the only thing I can remember about him.

I think we had stopped off at a photography store or something and were able take a picture and print it out.

It was such a same I had lost it-it was a few days after my parents died. Dylan and I were burying them; it was a miserable day- emotions were running high. I finished putting the dirt over my dad's grave and I had reached up to grasp it but it wasn't there. So I panicked, it was the last thing my parents gave to me-I never took it off. Eventually after lots of crying and searching I just gave up-me and Dylan went our separate ways and here we are today.

"How did you find it?" I wondered as I looked at it.

"Do you really want to know Janet?" He questioned.

"You didn't kill someone to get it?" I hoped.

The pale greened eyed man shook his head, "I know it doesn't make us even but it pays to seem you smile like that."  
Then he finally realized what I was wearing, "I-Is that an army uniform?"  
I shrugged, "Yeah-don't worry I haven't killed anyone yet."

"I-I've to go." He informed as he ran off I wanted to stop him-but something stopped me-he didn't want to be stopped.

A few minutes after Dylan left I found a rooftop that didn't have holes in it-but it didn't exactly mean it was clean-but it was bearable-after living inside the tunnels for years on end it was actually pretty nice.

Laying down and staring at the skies I finally did feel free. I felt like the world didn't matter anymore. My problems were too far to see-hear-or feel them.

The light of the stars are so old-it takes them light years to even get to Earth-by the time it does get here-it could be dead. It's like artists; they only ever really get popular when they die.

Except with stars-you can sort out all the chaos-make sense of all the madness-and see the beauty in the ugly.

But unlike stars humans are born and they live, during their life it a choice to make yourself known-seen-heard-or you can be quiet-understated-unknown. They can choose to shine brightly or dimly, they be the captain of the team-they person everyone looks up to-or they can be the person listens to for advice.

Then were are the people who use their gifts for all the wrong reasons; but they don't know any better-as much as people want to say bad people grow up bad. They don't-they are forced down these paths that are chosen for them. Their fate isn't chosen by their choice-it is led by destiny and unfortunately destiny doesn't like to listen to our opinion.

Soon sleepiness took over me and I drifted off to sleep.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," Michael informed as he lay next to me on the soft blanket.

"They are," I repeated, "But I wish the night could last forever-so I could just loose myself in the stars."

Michael chuckled, "But wouldn't you get bored, after staring at the same stars everyday-wouldn't it just get old?"  
He was right-as much as I didn't want to admit it, "I guess..." I shrugged.

"Have you ever seen a shooting star?" He asked.

"Once when I was a kid-but it went by too fast I couldn't make a wish." I informed.

I glanced at the side of his head as he looked out towards the sky, "What about you-have you ever seen a shooting star?"

Michael sighed, "No-no I haven't."

I chuckled, "Have you ever made a wish?"

"Not really,"

"Oh come on-everyone has made a wish-it's what little kids do? I remember once I wished for once of the specialty Barbie's." I remembered.

"Really," he said disbelievingly.

"What-I was like 5." I pointed out, "Why do you not believe me?"

"No-it's just that I never pictured you as a Barbie girl." He informed.

Elbowing him playfully I replied, "Hey-I am not a Barbie girl-I am just well rounded in the world of dolls."

"So did you get it?" Michael asked.

"Get what?"

"The Barbie,"

"Oh no-it was like 100 bucks-my parents weren't willing enough to invest in a doll I'd play with for 5 minutes and then just drop and let it gather dust." I informed.

"That's what kids do though," he pointed out, "They don't have the attention span to play with a single toy for hours on end."  
"Yeah…" looking over at him I memorized him-his pale skin-his short brown hair, his strong, muscle arm, and his enchanting brown eyes, "Why did you come-I know star gazing isn't the most interesting thing to do."  
Michael chuckled as he stared into my soul, "It is when you are with me."  
After that we both leaned into each other and our lips got closer and closer-but then reality came back.

I woke up with the blinding sun in my eyes.

Was it already morning?

Rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes I sat up and looked around-I was still out. I didn't go back-crap.

Quickly I ran down the building trying to get my ass where it should be in the first place. I didn't know I could run so fast-but that dream though…it felt so real. Why did I dream about _Michael_ again? I don't like him-I can't like him-let alone _love _him. I barely know the guy-besides I bet he likes someone else anyway. I shouldn't let some silly little dream toy with my emotions. It's just a dream-not that it means anything.

Getting back into Vega I looked around, the streets were buzzing with life, kids and their parents were going around browsing the vendors, while teenagers played games off to the side.

Seemed like things didn't change,

Jogging back to my post I ran into Bixby, Alex's little girl-well she's not his-he's her friend-it's a long story.

"Oh hey Bixby," I greeted.

She smiled back, "Hey Janet,"

Bixby was wearing clothing that was nicer then my uniform-and that's saying something. She used to wear torn old cloths that were a bit bigger then she should be wearing and she looks less deathly skinny. Bixby hair was a in a braid, very neat one too. I couldn't do a braid if my life depended on it.

"Nice you see you, how's Alex?" I wondered.

She sighed, obviously it wasn't good, "He got worried-he couldn't find you. He said that you weren't in your bed."

"Did he not read the note?" I said out loud.

"What note," she echoed.

"Nothing," I dismissed, "Well say hello to Lana for me if you get the chance."  
"K," she replied and brushed passed me.

The Princess was up by the prayer room, I think that room is creepy-and since I figured out the guy we've been praying too all along was Alex-I get nervous just thinking about how the world is in his hands.

Claire was currently giving a lesson to a bunch of kids on how the war and the chosen one and on Michael. Geez what happened to math-Reading-Science- you know the things that actually benefit us in the long run?  
As soon as she was done she came over to me, "Hey,"

"Hey," I repeated back, "I remember those lessons-your mom gave them before you did though-but you attended them."

"Hm-I don't remember you going to any lessons." Princess Claire said.

"Because I never talked to you," I pointed out, "I just sat in the back and pretended to listen."  
"Pretended to listen," she echoed and then grinned, "Really,"

"Yup," I informed.

"Who saved the baby?"

"Michael," I said.

"And where did he hide him?" She quizzed.

"The legend never really said-just said that he hid him so well not even he knows that he was the Chosen One." I shrugged.  
"Who is the Chosen One?"

"Your boyfriend-aka-my best friend-aka Alex Lannen." I whispered.

Princess Claire chuckled, "So you did pay attention?"  
"Only because she gave me nothing else to pay attention to,"

She sighed, "Look there is something I have to tell you…"

"What," I wondered.

"While you were gone a few days ago…I sort of got engaged…" she started hesitantly.

Where was this going? Engaged-why didn't she tell me this like when she got the news?

"To Alex…did you finally ask your father?" I thought but I would have heard it from him though?

The Princess shook her head as she tangled her fingers with each other, "No I got engaged to William Whele…"

"William," I said-a little _too_ loud, "When were you going to tell me that you were cheating on-"

Claire grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away to the corner, "I did not cheat on Alex, I-my father surprised me. He didn't tell me anything, because he knew that I'd refuse."  
"Does he like you-like-like-like you?" I wondered.  
She sighed, "Yes-but I only view him as a friend. This is just to bond the two houses and to make Vega stronger."

"So what are you-string him along like a puppet?" I questioned, "Love is a dangerous game, one wrong move and broken heart can be made. Breaking a heart is easy as breaking glass-picking up the pieces is almost impossible."  
"I'm not stringing him along-that's the last thing I want to do-but if I back out it'll just divide the houses even more!" Claire insisted, "And why do you care-you that anything about politics."

"I care about William-not in the way that you care about Alex but I care about him." I said, "He's a friend Claire-so don't let these 'politics' get in the way of it."  
*******************************************************************************************************

Time went by so slowly-like as if I were watching molasses pouring out of a bottle. By the end of the day I felt like I was walking through un-hardened cement, I was that tired, nothing interesting happened today just a bunch of talking-standing-avoiding-wait what?

Oh right-I've just been trying to avoid Michael-I know-I know it's probably wrong-not his fault-cliché-but seriously I just want that man out of my head. I can't stand that whenever I close my eyes I just see his face-just smiling and be charming! I don't know why…probably because I don't want to fall in love-especially with him.

Michael is an Archangel-and from what I know it is forbidden for him to fall in love with a human. And me being a human-I don't want my heart to break. I don't need another disaster to over come-another million pieced puzzle to put back together-because I can't-I just can't go back to who I used to be.

An emotionless girl, soulless, I did what ever I did because I couldn't hold back I couldn't stop myself because I had already lost everything and a person who lost everything doesn't think about what they are taking.

But then I came to Vega-I met Alex, I met Claire-I met the Archangel Michael and everything changed-_everything_.

I had something to live for-may it be a crappy life at that but it was a life and I needed a breath of fresh air.

And trust me it hurts me more then it'll probably hurt him because every time I sleep-I dream-or ever close my eyes for a second-I see him, smiling, and it kills me every time.

No matter how much I avoid him-how much I don't want to be around him-see him-think of him-the Archangel Michael is always on the back of my mind.

It's been a week or so since I've started avoiding Michael and gosh I do feel pretty terrible. I mean like even Alex has started get suspicious.

"Hey Janet," he greeted.

"Hey," I replied as I opened my locker.

"You know you can tell me anything right." He pointed out.

Wow that came out of the blue,

"Yeah-I know," I shrugged, "What is this about?"  
My blond haired friend sighed, "You've been acting weird these past few days."

I chuckled, "Weird, what's the definition of that nowadays?"  
"You know what I mean." He said, "What's going on between you and Michael?"

Slightly I froze for a second-Michael-why is he asking about Michael? Then I remembered where I was, "Nothing,"

"See that's what I mean-every time Michael around you go on all defense or shut down." Alex informed.

Closing my locker I looked at him, "I don't know what you are talking about."

A smile appeared on his face, "Yes you do-I can see it in your eyes."  
"Nothing is going on between me and Michael-nothing ever was and ever will." I assured.

"Then if nothing is going on prove it."

"How," I wondered.

"Talk to him."

"You sound like Claire." I said and turned away.

"Then maybe for once you will listen to me." He chuckled.

"Well I'll do it later then because I am going out." I informed.

"Out-star gazing," he inquired.

"What else would I be doing that isn't making sure you aren't getting killed on a daily basis?"

Little did I know that he's the one who should have been saying that to me.

*****************************************************************************************************  
As I left the locker room I started my way to the tunnels-it was a remarkably clear night.

Not a cloud in the sky-considering it's been raining for the past several days.

The ground was still had traces of the storm, there were large brown puddles at the corners and muddy dirt covered the edges of my shoes.

The tops of houses still were glossed over with rain water; shops were just starting to open up again.

Everyone who lived in the tunnels was out in the middle of the road waiting for their home to dry up.

I was out side when someone came from behind me and covered my mouth, "Scream and I kill you right now," then he chuckled, "Not that they'll hear you."  
My feet felt like they were stone, I didn't even breath, "Now night-night- little Janet."  
The man stabbed my neck with a syringe, after a few seconds I felt my mind go fuzzy-the world started to spin and my body went numb. All I knew is that I fell into the man's arm as I was forced into a sleeping daze.

Waking up I didn't feel like I was even there-it felt like my mind was running slow, colors were running together and things seemed to double.

"Ah look she's awake," a green eyed man smiled.

"D-Dylan…" I started.

He walked up to me and grinned, "Janet-looks like you've gotten yourself in a tight situation."

"Wh-what do you want?" I asked as I tried to get my vision to focus on him but it continuously just blurred.

Slowly he walked around the small room, "What I want?" Dylan laughed, "It's what he wants, I was told to kill you right on the spot you know."

"Then why didn't you?" I questioned.

"Because I wanted to get my revenge,"

Revenge-what have I done to him? I don't exactly remember tying his hand behind his back and then bounding him to a chair while we were kids.

The brown haired man cocked his head a looked at me, "What revenge you ask…" slowly he raised his black charcoal wings at me, "You cut these off."  
I chuckled, "They don't look too cut off to me."  
Dylan sighed and took one of his feathers, "I know-I grew them back of course."

"You guys can do that?" I questioned.

"Only the powerful ones," he smiled and continued on his story, "You cut mine off, with a bread knife. While I was strapped down to a bed-oh the pain was horrendous, I can still feel it now. You-Janet didn't care that I was in pain all you wanted was revenge."

Anger that I held back from this subject was unleashed, "YOU KILLED MY PARENTS! YOU DESERVE TO ROT IN HELL FOR WHAT YOU DID!"

"Oh there is the Janet I know," Dylan smiled, "Full of anger,"

"FUCK YOU! YOU'RE THE REASON I'M IN THE MESS-YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I HAD TO RUN FOR AGES!" I screamed, "IF YOU HADN'T POSSED JACOB MY PARENTS WOULD STILL BE ALIVE TODAY!"

"Oh we are still on the Jacob subject eh? What use is it? He was already dead, he drowned, and he was the only body for miles around." He informed calmly and grazed his sharp feather across my cheek. It stung as a red liquid drizzled out of the wound.

"He wasn't dead," I informed, "He was just sleeping-"

"For how much longer are you going to lie to yourself Janet? He was dead-he died!" Dylan said with full conviction-but I didn't want to listen to him I didn't want to hear his lies.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance." I muttered as another razor sharp object cut my upper arm.

"I can't believe you trusted me so easily? Did you think that we were still friends?" He asked.

We used to be friends-I used to be friends-but not with him. I used to be friends with Jacob-the little boy who had no one to look after him. Dylan isn't my friend-he's going to be my executioner.

"I was friends with the boy that used to be in that body." I informed and glared at him, "You're just a shell-just a monster hiding behind a man-you're nothing."

A furious look appeared on his face and his cold pale hand slapped my cheek with as much force as Dylan could muster. Looking at the floor, my eyes eventually they found their way to his eyes, they were a grey emerald, filled with hatred and revenge.

They used to be filled with laughter, they used to be able to make you smile, they used to with adventure and fun, risk and daringness. His eyes used to light up when they came in contact with mine.

Now all they are is just black holes that make you want to scream and cry for help.

Strong hands gripped my face, "Do you think anyone will notice your absence?"

Alex may, but he knows sometimes I just stay out for a few days-if I'm only gone for a day or so he'll think nothing of it. Claire won't really notice-there will just be another guard in my place just saying I'm not here and stuff. Carrie will just think I ditching again like I always do. Lana and Bixby don't need me anymore-they have each other as company.

Michael doesn't pay attention to me what so ever-he has a town to protect-he doesn't have time to check where everyone is at one time. So I guess I am stuck here till someone takes a wild guess?  
"No, no one will notice where I've been-they probably think I'm just star gazing again." I sighed, "So what's this revenge plan? Kill me? Beat me until I tell you something?"

Slowly the angel knelt down to my eye level, "You are being a smart ass you know that right?"

"Hey it's one of my quirks-besides if you are going to kill me may as well annoy you till the last minute." I shrugged, "It's your fault for bringing an immature adult into your plan."  
Letting go he stood up, "Fine be a child-just know the adults are the ones who discipline them."

"And you are a qualified adult? When did you get that title Dylan?" I laughed.

His stone cold glare peeked over his shoulder, "I would stop talking-you've already dug your grave-but keep going death isn't the only thing you're going to get."

Leaving the room it was silent, just the sound of me breathing in and out.

The room looked like an empty pantry but with no shelves, but it's too small to be a closet-and too big and square to be a walk in closet.

There were no windows, one hanging light, the wall paper was tearing off in the far corners and I think there was carpet.

My knee holder for my supplies is gone; my hands were tied behind back in a very thick rope and a really good knot.

Then reality set in-what if no one found me? What if Alex doesn't think that me being gone for a few days is a bad thing? What if I die? What will happen-who gets my tattoos? Will the human race go on? Will Alex save us?  
The door opened and a yellow light sprang into the room, "Well this'll be fun."  
Dylan walked in with a box of 5hour energy bottles, "This should keep you up."  
"Yay," I said sarcastically as he unwrapped one of them, "I get to spend quality time with _you_."  
He chuckled, "At least you got me, anyone else and you'd be dead by now."

"Thank you for gracing me." I replied my tone filled with sarcasm.

Opening the white bottle he opened my mouth and poured the liquid down my throat, obediently-well actually I didn't was to choke- I swallowed it.

"Good girl." He smiled, "Now it's time for the fun part as he lifted his wings and took a feather-well for me-for you this is going to be very-very painful."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," I muttered.

**Time Skip…**  
I didn't know much time had passed-hours-minutes-days? Now everything is just blurring together-there is no longer a way to tell the time. All I know is that I am in pain and there is no way out. And I lost my voice from screaming- now it's just squeaks and tears that express my pain.

Clinging to my sanity for dear life I don't know how much more I can take of this.

But this morning I think-afternoon-night-anyway I managed to unhook myself from the back of my chair, and I know where my stuff is. If only I can get my legs to work with me.

_1…2…3,_ I thought, _1-2-3 go,_

_Please just get up-please God if you are listening just let me get up. Please-just this once let me get myself out with out my own mess-please…_

Then as if my legs were finally listening to me, I could feel my toes-I could move them.

_Ok…1…2…3, UP_

Finally I stood up-almost fell over-but I was up! Now it's time to put phase 2 into action.

Carefully I stepped to my black bag and knelt down, _gun-gun-gun-AH HA GUN! Wow… I really do sound crazy now listening to myself._

Leaning backwards my hand felt the grip; _yes…please let it still be loaded._

Too poop my party a yellow light shined in the room, "Hello little Forest-"

Dylan looked at me and growled, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT?"

With my shitty reflexes I finally realized he was back, and raced to get my gun in a right spot.

"Give that to-" He started but a loud BANG stopped him as his eyes opened wide. Gravity took affect and he fell on his side, "J-Janet please stop-"

_Did you give Jacob a chance? Did he beg you to stop? Did he put up a fight?_

With out a second though I shot him in the head, and his ruby blood started to spill, his eyes still half open, as he laid there lifeless. This body I recognized-it's was finally Jacob again his almond hair, his half opened green eyes; it was finally him once more.

Kneeling down I scanned his face and let a tear escape, _I'm so sorry Jacob I let this happen to you. Please forgive me._

My shaking hands closed his eyes and mouth, and I straightened his arms and legs-even the dead need respect.

Kissing his paled forehead I finally got my voice back to speak a few words, "May God welcome you back in his Kingdom once more my friend-because now we part paths as we are on to a new day. We all will end in this but you have taken an early end. May your soul rest in peace-may you be in eternal happiness. I wish you a farewell my friend-you will never be forgotten. In life and in death you will always be my first friend, my brother by promise, and my life giver. Rest in peace-go with your heart and let the rode to Heaven be easy."

I had a match and I burnt his body-because I already let him go once-letting him go again will break me.

Leaving the room I felt the flames heat on my back and arms, and I smelt the scent of a burning corpse. But I couldn't look back-because I knew if I did-I'd let the flames engulf me too.

Every step was heavy and filled with pain, it was a cool night thankfully, but nothing would cool down my burning cuts that were given to me.

The only thing that kept me giving up was looking at the stars, there weren't many out today but there was one shining brightly, the one that caught my eye-the one I knew was Jacob.

My lips were dry and cracked, and licking them kept making them burn ever more. Hunger was more prominent, my stomach was yelling at me to eat something but I refused to listen to it.

The walls of Vega were close; I could see the sky scrapers reaching out and touching the dark lined skies. The lights were a homing beacon-the sign that home was near, my life was about to return-but this time I had someone to come home to.

Being in the tunnels felt like my safety line-if I could make it past here I know I could finally be safe.

But before I knew it the first building I went to was Michael's place. I knew I could go to Claire-she'd be the over worrying mother-and Alex is probably asleep or doing his job.

Michael can keep a secret-I hope.

In a very complicated way, I found my up to his door-but for some reason every time I tried to just make a noise I stopped myself. Like as if an invisible wall was in my way-an imaginary line was drawn and it said _do not cross_.

But I needed to talk to him-I needed to at least say sorry.

Breaking down the wall in my mind I stepped closer to the door and kicked it, and sighed looking around, a few noises started but faded away, so I kicked it again-no one came. Not giving up I leaned against the door, "Look Michael if you are even listening I just want to say a few things-and you don't have to come to the door." I said, my voice still horse and scratchy, "I'm sorry that I've been sort of cold to you, avoiding you-well that's what Alex said-but that's beside the point. It's just that facing my problems isn't exactly one of my strong suit and telling people stuff is another flaw of mine. But just know, I didn't mean it on purpose, it's just yet another one of my flaws."

"There are just some things that I can't explain with words." I sighed, "There are a lot of things I can't explain." I continued, "So please Michael-can you help me?"  
Those words hung in the air; I never thought I'd ever say those words to him. Alex-yes-Claire-maybe-but Michael-I never thought I'd ever have to ask for his help.

Silence was the only thing I heard, pure silence. Nothing not even a 'no not right now Janet', just silence,

I guess my luck just ran out-well no-my luck ran out a long time ago.

Life doesn't care that I'm hurt-life doesn't care that I was kidnapped, sleep deprived-food and water deprived either. Or I got assaulted by an angel before I got kidnapped-life doesn't care-it just says 'so what? Get back up on your horse and get moving again!'

Meanwhile you are out on the floor with a broken rib and concussion, life doesn't care-it keeps moving forward-it's your choice whether or not to go with it.

Me on the other hand, I just want 1 day where I can just hang out with my friends, do my job, and go to sleep without the worry or death near by in the back of my mind.

But no-karma is a bitch and it comes back in the least expected moment-and you are knocked on your ass and are expected to get back up in less then a second to block the blow it gives next.

But that doesn't mean it's all bad, there is love and desire. Friendship and lust, there are people always there behind you to help you back up again. There is always a person to help you help and give you smile. Through the chaos and destruction there is peace and safety. Just because there is war and death doesn't mean there isn't kindness in the world.

Yes there will always we hatred-murder-war-evil but there will always be love, friends, help to combat it.

I found a place that is a wide and open, and it over looks the city sky line.

The buildings were light up like Christmas trees; they were beacon singles-the sign of hope-the sign of safety. They showed that even if the world outside had ended, the human race still live-we still go on-this is proof that we always find a way out. We always find a way-through mass destruction- an ice age-and an unknown world of danger at ever corner we made it through.

Then the sound of a door opening and a man looking our came to my ears and I grinned, maybe life wasn't trying to kill me after all.

"Michael," I assumed, not turning around.

"Janet-what are you doing here?"

"Oh sit down and maybe I'll tell you?" I replied as I just stared out in the sky.

Foot steps echoed throughout the building as he sat down, "My mom used to say that when people died their souls went into the sky and it would lead people back home."

"That's not true actually," he informed.

"What a party pooper," I chuckled even though it pained me to do so, "Anyway-she always said that the ones that shin the brightest are the souls of the people you love."

"What does that have to do with you coming here?" Michael asked-geez not a morning person obviously-but then he came up with an answer, an answer I was not expecting, "You were out star gazing."  
The brown haired Archangel held up a piece of paper with black lettering on it. It was my hand writing, and unscrambled it said _**Gone star gazing, be back soon.**_

**Hello again,  
Hope you liked it-I had a time writing it. I did skip most of the kidnapping part because it's already a bit violent no need to get morbid. And Michael has done his research- and it took him like 12 years to figure it out. Claire finally told Janet she was engaged. You know the rest. So if you enjoyed it-great-if you didn't-why are you still here?  
****Anyway-I'll talk you guys later-Stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


	3. Let The World End-I'll Still Be Here

**Hello my favorite people of the internet-welcome back. It hasn't actually been then long...but hey! Anyway-this story does have a flashback of Janet's childhood. So sit down-relax-and enjoy the reading-cupcakekiller12**

_**Previously on Star Gazing…**_

_Then the sound of a door opening and a man looking out came to my ears and I grinned, maybe life wasn't trying to kill me after all._

"_Michael," I assumed, not turning around._

"_Janet-what are you doing here?" _

"_Oh sit down and maybe I'll tell you?" I replied as I just stared out in the sky._

_Foot steps echoed throughout the building as he sat down, "My mom used to say that when people died their souls went into the sky and it would lead people back home." _

"_That's not true actually," he informed._

"_What a party pooper," I chuckled even though pained me to do so, "Anyway-she always said that the ones that shin the brightest are the souls of the people you love."_

"_What does that have to do with you coming here?" Michael asked-geez not a morning person obviously-but then he came up with an answer, an answer I was not expecting, "You were out star gazing."  
The brown haired Archangel held up a piece of paper with black lettering on it. It was my hand writing, and unscrambled it said __**Gone star gazing, be back soon.**_

Staring at the note I couldn't put my thoughts into words, it was like I couldn't connect the nerves in my brain to think straight, but finally after a few minutes of silence I admitted something, "I am way to sleep deprived to even fathom how you got that."

"You know what the punishment is for going outside the city walls." Michael pointed out.

Looking down at my lap I sighed, "Yeah-yeah-I know-I know, I'll be purged-sent back down to V1 or get whipped by you."  
I didn't feel like bickering with Michael-I'd been through hell and to be honest I don't care what happens-send me to V1, whip me for all I care. I'm already numb from all the pain, "Just make up your mind already-I have a feeling that I'm not going to be able to stay awake for more then you need me to be."  
Michael looked at me, his face was expressionless-but his eyes were another story. I know this because even I try to act like nothing phases me, but the thing is. Your eyes are the windows to your soul, they show your anger, they show your sadness, and they show excitement-but most of all they show that you care-even if you try not to.

And his are no different-they showed that he knew I was in pain-they showed that he cared-even if he wouldn't admit it, "Just untie me and we can both get back to our lives."

Turning slightly I showed my roped up hands and slowly he started to pick at the knot, "Why did you come here?"

"Because Claire and Alex worry about me too much already-anymore and they'll start acting like my parents." I informed.

That part was true-they do already worry about me, every time I'm late for my post Claire acts like I almost died and Alex I bet thinks when I'm late or not in my bed I had a fatal encounter with an angle-which this time wasn't too far from that theory.

Michael returned with silence and as he continued to untie the rope.

This was the other reason why I came here, I knew that he wouldn't ask many questions-and that's what I needed. That's why I came to Vega-a new start-a clean state. A place where no one knew my name, a new beginning, that was good enough for me.

I felt the grip around my wrists loosen and heard the soft thump of the thick rope on the floor, "Thanks," I said softly and got up, but I knew there still one thing I had to do-and it was going to hurt.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked.

"Relocating my arm," I informed.

He looked skeptical, "Do you even know what you are doing?"

"There's a first time for everything,"

"You're going to do it wrong." He replied casually.

"Fine-do you want to do Mr. Know-it-all?" I wondered.

If it was possible-there was the tiniest sign of a smirk on his face as he picked up my arm, "You may want to bite something."

"What am I going to-"

Without even a warning he snapped my arm back in its place.

The pain coursed through my arm like a wave crashing on a beach-it felt like fire of hurt was engulfing my shoulder; the feeling was like it was being smashed with a jackhammer, and shoved into a shot glass.

As much as I wanted to scream and curse all that came out was high picked squeak, but I was screaming in my head, _holy crap, that fucking hurt! God damn it that hurt, that asshole didn't even give me a second to react! Holy mother of God-why didn't he at least tell me he was going to do that?_

Losing my balance I fell against something hard-and it wasn't a wall. It was warm, comforting, protective and all too familiar, looking up I saw the face I've dreamt about, the face I only dream of kissing, the only one that made me feel safe, looking up I saw Michael's brown enchanting, magical brown eyes that made me melt, but the only thing I knew how to do-it was to push away. I couldn't let myself fall-I just can't.

Keeping my head down, I started my way to the stairs and mumbled a quick thank you. I was trying to hide my hot, rosy tinted cheeks. I hate the way he makes me feel-so helpless, it's like I'm not in control. It's like Michael is in the driver's seat, while I'm in the passenger side hanging on for dear life as he's doing doughnuts with a jeep.

To me he's like a drug, I know he's bad for me so I stay away but it's like a monkey on my back saying 'you know you want him-you know you do.'

It's an internal battle, waging a war that no one wants to lose. But no matter which side of me wins, I'll lose-because I can't live without Michael-but I can't live and know that he can never be with me. Is he a risk I am willing to take or he is just a piece of artwork I have to admire from afar?

As I painfully dragged my two dead legs to the infirmary I felt the weight come off my aching feet. I was lifted in a warm embraced and didn't protest.

Who was my savior this time?

Looking up I saw the face that was the Archangel who stood up in God's war against the humans. The first one to bow to us, the one who still loved us flaws and all… Michael.

I could only see half of his shadowed face, he was looking forward as his pace quickened slightly.

I didn't care though, in his arms I finally felt safe; it finally felt like home.

His arm was my pillow and the warmth radiating off his body was my blanket-because for the first time in long time I wanted to go to sleep.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOO

"But mommy I don't want to go to sleep!" I said as I jumped up and down on my bed, "I'm not tired!"

Her face was full of sleepiness, there were dark bags under her eyes that made her look like a zombie, "Honey, please lie down and go to sleep."

"But I can't, it's barely dark outside!" I pointed out at my window-the sun was still going down.

The sky was tinged with a burnt orange color, around it there was a dark ruby tinge, and the sky surrounding it still was a deep, dark blue. But there were signs of the night that were still to come, the time where the stars come out. The time where people make wishes on shooting stars, it was a time of peace and stillness. No sounds were made; only the sight of sleeping children was about.

"Steven-please come and tell your daughter to calm down and sleep." My mother begged.

A pleasant young man with light blue eyes came in, "So she's my kid now?"

"When's she's acting like this she is," mom stated.

Dad looked at me with pleading eyes and nice smile, "Janet can you _please_ go to sleep?"

Obediently I did and laid under the covers, what can I say, I'm daddy's little girl?  
My father had hair that was black as night, it short-but long enough to be slicked back. He wore a white t-shirt and grey sweat pants-unlike mom-his eyes were full of energy. They showed his happiness and his friendliness, which was a thing dad was always good at-being a friend-the good guy.

"How do you do that?" Mom asked, "Every time I ask her to do something she finds a way out of it!"

Dad chuckled as he left the door way and entered the room, "Hey she's my kid and Jacob is yours."

He was right-I was his kid-his only kid-but I don't know my real mom-dad said she died when she gave birth to me. We have no pictures of her-no memory of her presence with us-she was just forgotten like dust in an attic. Not a word or a memory to reflect her-did dad want to forget her?  
"Night daddy-night mommy," I replied as I turned over to my side.

"Goodnight darling," dad smiled as he kissed the side of my head.

The sound of his feet leaving the room echoed in my mind as I feel asleep.

I dreamt of a boy with blond hair, he was with a man-I couldn't really see what he looked like-but it couldn't make out what was happening either. Fighting? Hiding-panicking-he looked scared like as if his world was ending or someone was going to die? But then again I'd think he'd look a whole lot more sad if someone was dying.

The boy looked my way, his eyes were frightened; they showed he thought he was going to die. _But you're not going to die, there is always a way out-no one is destined to die-but we all do at some point. People die so others can live and others have to live in order for people to die. It's a funny world we live in._

The world is a weird place-it's the home of man kind-and we humans make mistakes-_a lot_ _of them_. It's what got us in this mess in the first place.

God created us and he loved us. He loved our compassion and love towards one another.

But then he lost faith-he sent the flood-and Noah's arch was created. Then he loved us again-but I think he forgot what makes us human.

Like I said before we make A LOT of mistakes-wars-murder-no man is perfect. And some of us don't run on all thrusters-we don't know what we are doing until we actually do it.

But that's life-nobody knows what lies ahead of them-all we can do is pray that we make the right decisions.

I still believe in God-I know he doesn't believe in me-but maybe-just maybe-he'll see that when disaster strikes-no matter who or what-humans bind together and support each other. Because we have a heart-we all have a soul-we all see the good in someone even if they don't see it in themselves.

I woke up to someone jumping on my bed-it was an almond haired-pale green eyed boy smiling despicably, "Jaaacccooob!"  
Tiredly I moved my pillow over my face, but just because I didn't see him doesn't mean I couldn't feel him pushing his feet into my plush bed, "Stop it!"

"Wake up," Jacob repeated, "Wake up-wake up!"

"Do you want me to punch you right now?" I wondered-I wasn't actually going to do it-but sometimes-he needs a little inspiration.

Playfully he snatched my plush pillow away and started hitting me with it, "5 more minutes" I begged.

"The more you sleep the less time we have to play!" He pointed out, "Mom will make us do a longer lesson!"  
"So,"

"It'll be dark by the time we finish," the green eyed boy informed.

"And," I continued.

"We won't be able to play!" He pouted.

I sighed-he was always eager to do everything-especially if he had play time afterward. Jacob would just make up games on the fly-and we'd play them like our life depended on it. It was like the world was our game board and we were its pieces hoping spaces and defeating imaginary monsters-and as much as it drives mom and dad crazy-we loved to do it-because it was all apart of the game.

After much kicking and screaming Jacob finally got me downstairs, "Ah Jacob I finally see you got Death Runner out of her coffin?"

Mom kicked dad in his heel, "Steven,"  
"OW-what it's just a nickname!" He whined.

"Not a very nice one."

"I like it." I piped up.

I did actually; it was a nickname my dad came up with, (obviously), how I got wasn't really in a good way. Before we settled down in our home here in Nevada-well it isn't really Nevada anymore-it's just an abandoned piece of land-the cost of war. A place where no one dares to go-because apparently walls and machine guns can protect you from flying monsters?

Anyway-I have a bad habit of let's just say getting in sticky situations.

Whether it is accidentally or not-so-accidentally-you name I've most likely almost died from it.

Falling off cliffs-going down Niagara Falls-being shot-

Almost got my neck slit one day-

Then there was one time where I almost got blown up by a supposedly inert tank round-that wasn't so inert.

I was dangled off of an 80 storied building-car crashes-being hit by a car-

-You get the point-I am very good at dig dong ditching death's door.

"Well you shouldn't-let's just get to the lessons." Mom said-yeah but that doesn't mean I can't be proud of it.

The lessons were so boring-we had history-boring just talked about a bunch of dead dudes-when will I ever need this? Will a stranger just come up and quiz me about it?  
Math was a bit more interesting-but after an hour and a half just looking at numbers and letters-it gets to be a little frustrating,

"I don't get it!" I groaned as I stared at the equation before me, "Why can't I just do it from left to right? Is there another stupid rule I have to follow?"  
"Because then you won't get it right and a building is going collapse because you got the wrong measurements!" Mom insisted.

"Who cares if I get it wrong? As long as I get it done-right?" I pointed out.

This went on for a few minutes-I hate rules-some of them are useful but when you want to do something your own way-they get in the way-like a lot.

Next we went to reading-which I actually like-it pulls me out of the real world and sticks me in a place I don't need to worry about dying as much. But then after reading it-you get attached to these fake characters that don't even exist! They manage to squeeze into your heart and force you to care about them-and then when they die it's like your best friend just got buried six feet under.

Why do we do that? Why do we cry when we know they don't exist-they aren't real-they're just characters from a story book-why should we care about them?  
…because we have hope that by the end of the book they have the happy ending that everyone wants, we hope that through trial and error they'll find a way out of their little situation-crisis-quest-and when they don't… we get disappointed-and it even if they aren't real-they're real to us. They are the little things that bring us to tears and they are the things that bring us happiness.

And sometimes they remind us of us-stuck-hopeless-confused-and by the end of their journey they find a way. Because everyone loves a happy ending-even if we will never get one ourselves.

After all the 'required' subjects we went to electives-today was an art day.

Art-it's complicated-depending on what you how you see it is how much you enjoy it. It can be confusing and meaningless to some people-and eye opening for others.

"What are you drawing sweetie?" Mom asked.

"A boy from my dream," I replied as I started on his hair, it was short-but it covered his forehead and barely covered his ears. It was rather cute though, but it wouldn't suit Jacob as much as it does him.

"Do you know his name?" She wondered.

I shook my head, "No,"  
"Was there anyone else there with him?"

I shrugged, "Yeah I think so?"

"What did he look like?" Mom questioned.

"I don't know-he was blurry."

As I finished his hair I went to his eyes-his eyes this time were much more relaxed-happy even. There was a twinkle, his smile was playful as a kid my age should be. I wish I could meet him some day-if he is even real. It was a dream after all-dreams can be metaphors-they can be a reflection of your day. Dreams show your inner desires and they can show your fears, and depending on the dream is how confusing it is to tell the difference between them.

"I think I'll give him a nickname." I said and scanned my drawing, "The solider."  
"Why that?" Mom asked as she took the drawing to look at it, "He's just a boy-he looks your age."  
"I dunno-just cause I guess," I stated simply.

**Time Skippdy…**

"Happy birthday," Dad smiled.

Right-today is my ninth birthday-one of the only times in the year we can have cake.

Birthdays-the day where we celebrate that the world was graced with our presence, today is suppose one of the greatest days of my life but-my schedule got a little changed by _them_.

The angels, they were sent by God to wipe out humanity.

Why would he do that? I get we don't always do the good thing but-we're just human-we aren't perfect-it's apart of our nature to be imperfect. It's apart of our nature to make mistakes and get turned around every once and again. And it's what comes out of our mistakes is how we learn.

Like the saying goes-if at first you don't succeed-try-try again.

Or when life throws you off your horse-just back on it-even if it trys to kill while doing it.

We were huddled inside the bunker below our house, it wasn't a small space-it was bigger then my parents bed room. It was made of solid steel-but that didn't make us feel any better-with every minute that ticked by our stress level rose. We didn't know if it was our last moments-or if we were going to live to see another day-but at least we'd go out together.

"M-mommy are we going to die?" Jacob asked as he clung to her arm.

"No-no sweet heart-don't worry we'll be out of this before you know it." She assured as she held him with her right arm and her left arm slid around me, "We are going to pull through this-and we are going live life just as we always have."  
Mom was trying to sound confident but her voice was still shaky, she was trying to make us feel better-but I don't even think she felt safe.

At that moment I started to memorize her-like as if I'd never see her again, her physical features were just like Jacobs, her hair was an almond brown color; it barely touched her shoulders. Her eyes were more grey then green unlike Jacobs; they had a touch of blue around the rims, and brown speckles in the middle around her pupil. It was rather fascinating just seeing the colors-it was like looking at a rainbow and trying to pick out every single color and all the colors in between.

I wanted to ask if my birthday would still continue on-but that would be selfish wouldn't it?

Like if I didn't have my family-I wouldn't be celebrating my birthday. It would be a worthless holiday-meaningless-it wouldn't mean a thing to be a year older without my parents-just means a year closer to death.

"Mommy are we going to move again?" I wondered-because every time something like this happens, we have to go to a place like this we, then pack up everything and leave.

Dad tells us to pack up all the important stuff and leave anything you can live without. We leave our old life behind and start a new one all over again.

New cloths-new shoes-new place-new house-everything that tied us to here is engulfed in orange flames that rise to the sky to let off black smoke.

And as we leave we look back on our old life-all the memories we made there. All the happy-cheerful times we spent-all gone-all to ashes to ashes and dust to dust in a blink of an eye.

"No Janet-not this time." She informed and looked hopingly towards the door.

Dad was out there-he was fighting off the monsters all alone-and we wouldn't know if he was still alive till he came back. And when he came back he was all scraped up and breathless-like as if beaten within an inch of his life-but had come back only to see his wife and his children one last time before death claimed his soul.

We had no clock to tell us what time it was-no sun to see if it was dark-no games to pass the time. Just a door to watch and hope that it opens-a mother who is on walking on glass-and a brother that is more stressed and worried then me and my mother combined.

Then the door's lock started to move as the hair on the back of our necks stood up. Our hopes were pinned in one man coming through that door.

I prayed that dad was the one opening that door-because without him our family would fall apart-it would crumble to pieces-mom can't raise us on her own-sorry-she can't raise _me_ on her own-considering I'm the one who is almost dying half the time.

"Come on Steven-please," mom pleaded in a whisper, "Don't leave me all alone-please."  
As if our prayers were answered as the door opened and a man with eyes as blue as the sky stood there exhausted,

Cuts lined his face and tore through his clothing, red blood stained his pants but it only glistened on his black shirt.

"Steven," my mom gasped as she ran to hug him.

Her hands groomed his hair, "Oh I thought I lost you."  
His long, muscular arms wrapped around her, "I thought they'd gotten to you-where's Janet?"  
"Right here," I waved-but my voice was small-afraid-I thought I had lost him too-I thought he was gone-forever.

Dad pulled away from mom and knelt down to my level, "Hey-it's alright-I'm fine."  
As tears brimmed I leaned in to hug him, "Don't leave me alone again."

He embraced me with his warm arms and picked me up, "Let's go celebrate your birthday-come on Jacob-Katie."

Our house was trashed-but it was cleanable-only took an hour or so and dozen trash bags.

Mom and dad started on the cake while Jacob and I sat silently on the couch in the living room.

The room was good size-but it didn't mean we knocked things of 'accidentally' from time to time.

There was a wooden framed glass topped table in the middle with a white rug underneath it. On both sides the couch we were sitting on there were lamps shedding a white light that cascaded the room in brightness.

On the other side there was a love seat-it was met for mom and dad during the lessons. One side was for students and another was for the teachers, our books were on the bottom of the table, held in the woven baskets.

"I'm bored," I said as I stared at the smooth white up ceiling.

"So am I," Jacob sighed copying the actions I did, "Want to go star gazing?"  
"But mom and dad told us to stay here," I pointed out.

"Who said we had to listen to them?" He grinned as he jumped up, "Besides they don't have to know-we'll be back before they know it.

I looked over at him-there was no stopping him once he had an idea in his head-either you go with him or abandon him. And both ways can be painful-I should know, "Fine."  
Silently we stalked up the steps leading to my room; my window had access to the roof-I used to go up there when our parents went to bed-the stars were amazing at that time of the night. They still glistened in the black sky with the white moon when the sun barely starts to awaken from its slumber. The souls still talk, soar, and lead.

Mom says when people die their soul is taken to the sky and is lit up like a lantern. The souls of the people we love shine the brightest-and they can also lead us home when we are lost.

Looking at the stars makes me feel like I'm not terribly alone. Yeah I have mom-dad-Jacob-but I don't have anyone else that I can talk to. It's like I'm confined to this bubble or box that I can't get out of. The sides to too tall or I'm too scared to jump them. But inside this box is another story-it's 'normal'-not thing can touch us-but doesn't that boring after awhile?

I do like that I have family-but I want more then a family-I wanted friends-I wanted a life-being in this box isn't safe-there isn't such thing as safe anymore-it's just another word that makes us feel better like normal.

But looking at the stars makes me feel free and happy, it's clears my head when I'm upset or confused. They make me forget about my trouble-the stars let me see beyond my problems-they let me see hopes and dreams.

A streak of white started to fly past us, "Look," I pointed, "A shooting star,"  
"Make a wish," Jacob replied.

But as soon as he said that it disappeared like a black cat into the night.

"I missed it," I sighed.

"Don't worry," my pale green eyed brother smiled as he looked at me, "I made a wish for you."

"What was it?" I wondered-if he made a wish for me-I wanted to know what it was-was it a well spent wish?

He chuckled, "It won't come true if I tell you!"

"I thought that only applied to birthday wishes?"

Jacob shrugged as he gazed up at the sky, "If it comes true you'll know what it is."

"Janet…Jacob-the cake is ready!" Mom yelled as she stuck her delicate structured face out the window.

The cake was small-but big enough for the 4 of us.

It was circular and had black dyed frosting covering it; there were little white dots around it to symbolize stars. There was one wax candle-I didn't even think we still had those-I thought we used them all up.

Last year I couldn't get a candle-dad said they couldn't find any on the trip up to get supplies.

"Happy birthday," mom and dad smiled.

Lighting up the candle it emitted a small orange flame, "Make a wish,"

I smiled and nodded as I blew the fire out.

As we eat the cake dad handed me a present that was covered with a makeshift wrapping paper.

The present was shaped like a rectangle-it was actually pretty heavy-so it couldn't be anything simple like a box with a stuffed animal inside.

Slowly I unwrapped it reveling a polished light brown wood, as I continued to peel off the paper it reveled a wooden box that had small engravings on the sides and rope like decorations near the edges.

The box was a smooth finished wood-it was maybe a half foot long, there was small silver key hole.

My mother handed me a little gold key on a leather necklace, "Go ahead open it."

Turning the key I heard click, slowly I opened the box: it I saw a white backed jewelry box-it had a small silver ballerina frozen in a dancing pose. There was a small square mirror in the back reflecting on her.

A huge-warm smile grew on my face, "You can wind her up you know," Dad said as he went behind me- his big strong hands turned the little dial and stopped.

A soft tune rose to my ears and the dancing ballerina twirled around.

I wish this moment could last forever-everything happy and cheerful-but the world doesn't work that. We all have to have our moments of depression-internal afflictions-anger-_**revenge**_.

**Time JUMP!**

"Come on Jacob this is so unfair!" I whined as I ran after him.

"Life isn't fair!" He retorted-his almond brown hair almost covered his paled emerald eyes that were filled with excitement and daringness.

"What's the point of this game?" I wondered-we were just running around chasing each other-not even tagging each other.

"There doesn't have to be a point to it! It's just supposed to be fun!" Jacob stated, "Every game doesn't have to need a winner."  
But isn't that the point of playing a game-there's a winner and a loser.

You play to win-and if there is no winner stop-what's the point of playing?  
I guess you can't always win-and sometimes you just need a break from losing once in a while.

Living can be a pain-especially when you're losing in it.

But the thing about life is that no one wins-we all die in the end-miserably or peacefully we all go. It's just what you do between being born and dying is what matters.

That's another thing about being human-we can't live forever-it's the cycle of life-we aren't gods-we are just living things was an agenda to do. We are born-we live-we die it's the way we have done it and it's the way we will always do it.

Jacob exited the back and I followed-he took off his shoes and looked at the pool with an evil grin, "No-Jacob-"

The pool was the length of our yard-we filled it up twice every summer, in the sunlight it glistened like a crystal.

As he jumped in little drops of water wet everywhere-but something looked wrong as he jumped in-the way he launched himself-it looked like he hit something, "JACOB," I yelled as I ran to the edge, "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"  
I expected him to come up and laugh, 'oh but it is'

"Jacob," I whined, "Come on you know I can't swim!"  
Again he didn't come up to the surface to shove it in my face, this wasn't like him at all- he always full with energy- eager to tell me what I couldn't do.

"Jacob," I said looking down at the distorted view of his body floating below the surface of the water.

Worry flew through me-what if he was drowning-what if he broke his neck? I couldn't get him-I can't swim-let alone save someone from drowning.

Mom and dad aren't here-they can't get him-how was I supposed to get him? Yell for help-there wasn't anyone here for miles-who the hell would hear me?

Reluctantly I started to take off my shoes-socks and took things out of my pockets and jumped in-oh how stupid am I?The water was freezing and my wet cloths clung to me like a frightened child as I held the edge of the wall, dive down and get him? How hard could that possible be?

Apparently-impossible-every time I tried to get off the safety wall I hesitated and clung even harder.

_Come on-I can't just leave him there! _I thought to myself.

_**Yeah but do you want to die with him in the process, **_another part of me said.

_Me-dying-why do you think they call me Death Runner, _I retorted to myself.

_**You can't run forever from Death, Janet-sooner or later-it will find you**_, my other self pointed out.

_And when it does I'll run even more-just to prove you wrong! _I informed as I finally leapt off and dived down.

Opening my eyes for the first time stung-if felt like my eyes were burning-but after a few seconds I got used to it- surprisingly opening you eyes under water is easier then swimming in it.

Spotting Jacob I grabbed an edge of his shirt and tried to pull him up-but it felt like he was a thousand pounds-he wouldn't budge! I tried to kick my legs harder but we stayed in the same place.

_Come on Jacob-please, _I begged to him as if he could hear me.

His lifeless body was like a rag doll-it moved the way the water wanted it to move-but he looked at peace-he didn't seem like he was in pain. Jacob seemed to just float like seaweed in the ocean.

My lungs were begging for air-as panic washed through me, _this is it-I'm going to die here-I guess I should have listened to myself-trying to be the hero doesn't always work out the way you want it to.  
_Jacob was right-life isn't fair-life is taking away my only friend. My only brother-one of the only things that I cared about-and it's taking him away like a returned shirt.

He was the only one who could make me happy when I was depressed-he's the one who would just come up out of the blue and just make life interesting. Jacob was the only one who maid a show out of nothing-he's the one who should be living-I should be the one in his place! I'm the Death Runner not him-he's my Life Giver-Jacob has saved me more times then I can count. He shouldn't be taking the fall for me!

Suddenly as if all seemed lost some one jumped in and looked at me worried, it was mom. She looked at me and then at Jacob debating to which one she should save her husbands daughter-or her own son.

After a moment mom sent me an apologetic look to me as if to say, 'I'm sorry-please forgive me for what I'm about to do',

At that sign, I just decided to give up-there was no point in avoiding death anymore. Why should I keep running anyway? Not like I'm important to human kind anyway-I'm just another death in the world.

People die every day-and they are burned without a second thought-who cares if it's me who was burning?  
Then as if life had a soft spot for me I felt myself being lifted up and placed on a hard surface. Why did it do this to me?

It's a curse-every time I'm an inch to death, life decides that I'm not good enough to die just yet and it brings me back. Why can't life just let me go! I am sick and tired of just being taunted and teased by death-just stop it or kill me already!

Coughing back to life I stared at my dad-his light blue eyes full of worry as he sighed with a breath of relief.

He was wet-his black hair hung in his eyes-his cloths drenched.

Slowly I looked over at Jacob-he was still knocked out-as mom tried to bring him back to life. She pressed on his chest and breathed into his lungs but nothing was working-tears cascaded down her eyes, "Come on Jacob-please-don't die on me-not today-please."

Dad walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Katie," he said, "He's gone,"  
"N-no-he can't be!" She cried as she continued her life saving techniques.

"Katie-please-he's gone." Dad repeated.

Mom looked at him as tears rolled down her cheeks and she sniffled, "He can't be gone-he has to live."  
Sitting up I listened to them silently-there was nothing I could do-death claimed my brother today-and I guess Life doesn't care what it gives to Death.

Dad caressed her cheek and wiped away her tears, "Katie-I'm sorry-but there is nothing you can do to save him. He's gone,"

He brought her in to his chest and let her cry as he kissed her forehead, "It's alright, I'm right here."  
Jacob's dead…he's actually dead…he died.

_I'm sorry Jacob-I broke our promise-I couldn't save you-I'm so sorry…_

Tears brimmed thinking of him-all of our adventures-games-I remember his smile-his adventure filled eyes. His soft brown hair-his endless mind-everything-him jumping on my bed to wake me up, I remember him saving me countless of times with a just a smile on his face and hoping green eyes. He's the closest thing I have to a brother-the only brother I ever had-my only friend.

Jacob was the only one who could tell me no-make me smile-laugh-he's the one who knew my deepest secrets. He's was the only one who could make a sad thing a good thing.

I'll never forget the times he took my star gazing-the times we'd just sit on the roof for hours on end just staring up at the sky. And as much as I want to forget him-as much I want to say I don't know him-he's my best friend and forgetting him is not an option.

"His soul resides upon the stars now." Mom sniffled, "Come on-we need to burn him before-"

She stiffened and her whole body froze as she looked down at her stomach, it was covered in a red sticky liquid.

Falling over a red puddle formed around her-my mother was dead…

Looking up I saw a face I knew too well-black eyed boy stood there with black charcoal colored wings. His hair was an almond color and it clung to his face. His smile was evil and despicable-he was enjoying our pain-our suffering-our shock.

"J-Janet run," dad stammered.

But I couldn't my eyes were locked on the angle-I sat in fear-like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't move-I was frozen in my place.

"I SAID RUN!" He yelled.

As if I'd only just heard him I ran inside the house looking for a weapon-maybe I could help-maybe I could just distract him or something?  
Soon I found the bread knife and looked up at the door way-three feathers shot my fathers way and entered his chest, "DADDY!" I screamed.

And that's when I felt it-something just snapped inside me-I felt so much anger, sadness, depression-I felt every emotion mix into one-_**revenge**_**.**

"Oh come on you puny little human-wait up-let me kill you-it'll make this a whole lot easier." The angel said so casually-it was like he didn't even have a soul-it was like he didn't even care-he was just here to get a job done.

Running upstairs it felt like I was just a blur-I didn't even know what I was doing-I was just grabbing stuff-I didn't even know what I was grabbing.

Tears were still freshly coming down my face to remind me what had happened-all the death-all the pain-all the disbelief had blinded me and rage was it result.

Backing into my parents' room I tied something to the wooden pillars next to their bed and just waited for him-just waited.

All I wanted to do was see him die-I wanted to see him in pain-I wanted to see him bleed red. I wanted to hear him scream-I wanted to hear him plead me to stop hurting him. I want him to feel what they felt-I wanted him to feel what it was like to be within an inch of death and come back to tell the tale!  
The wooden door opened to show a black eyed boy who had stolen my brothers' body-killed my parents-it deserved to die.

"Looks like you've run out of places to hide," it said as it walked in, "Oh humans-such a stupid race to begin with-I wonder why God even loved you in the first place?" Then he looked at me, "But you still believe-don't you-you still think God can forgive you pitiful humans?"

"Shut up," I ordered-my voice still shaking as much as I wanted to sound strong.

"Oh you do," he pointed out condescendingly; "Well I guess you won't for very long-considering that you are going to die in a few seconds."

"Die," I laughed, "You think I'm scared of dying? What a joke-Death is my best friend."  
"Death Runner," the angel said, "Is that what he called you… or was it Janet?"

"Looks like we are all to acquaint here," I informed, "If you know my name why don't you tell me yours? You are going to be my killer-I'd at least like to know who you are?"

"Dylan," he stated as he walked foreward, "But it's too bad I couldn't get to know your parents-they seemed nice-but they're human-and humans need to be killed."  
_How dare he, my parents were the only thing I had left in this world!_

Without a second thought I pinned him to the bed-the bed my parents slept on, where I'd jump on to wake them up-but now it belongs to no one.

Quickly I tied his hands and took the bread knife, "What the hell are you doing you bloody human?"  
"Taking revenge of the people you killed," I fumed as I started cutting.

Blood started running down my hand and on the blade. The more I cut the more I wanted him to scream-the more I wanted him to beg for mercy.

"STOP IT," Dylan yelled, "STOP IT!"  
His yelling not only fueled my fire-it fueled my revenge-this is what I wanted-I wanted him to feel the pain.

"STOP," Dylan begged, "Please-AH-PLEASE STOP IT-IT HURTS!"

Soon I started on the left wing, ruby blood cascaded down my arms-why did this feel so good? Why did I feel like this was an answer?

_**Is this the monster God thinks you are? **_A voice wondered; _**is this what you want to be? Is this what Jacob-your parents would want?**_

_Shut up, _I ordered, _He deserves this-this is what he gets for killing the people I love!_

_**He doesn't know any better-you are being just as bad as he is! You know better! You were raised better then this! Your parents raised you better! They loved you-would they love you after you killed this boy?**_ It asked.

That was true-taking a life is selling your soul? How could I live with myself-even if Dylan was an angel and he did kill my parents-everyone gets deserves a second chance.

After ripping off his other wing I took a step back and he looked at me with terrified eyes, "W-why,"  
"Why what," I wondered.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

"Because I'm not a monster like you are-revenge is a one way rode-what it leads to I don't want to know. But everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves." I replied, "Take your wings outside, we are burying and burning my parents tonight."  
Going out-I didn't feel any better-I didn't like I accomplished anything. If anything I felt even worse-I should have let him kill me-I'd rather be with my parents in death then alone with nothing-alive.

My dad was barely alive-but it wouldn't be like that for long, "Dad,"

Kneeling down I stared into his eyes-they were no longer filled with the energy he once had-they looked like they were barely open-but they still were friendly-still hoping-still wishing as they stared into mine, "J-Janet…"  
"I'm here-I'm here," I assured as I took his lifeless hands into mine.

"I-I'm s-sorry," he coughed, "I-I couldn't s-ave-"

"Sh-sh, you were awesome dad-you were the best father I could have asked for," salty tears dripped over my face as I continued, "You did everything you could-I'm sorry I couldn't do anything. I should have tried-"

"Y-you a-re… o-only a little girl," he croaked, "I-It's y-your curse…now…"  
Dad's heart was failing and I knew he was going to fade quick, "I love you daddy."

"I-I l-love…you too Janet…" as soon as dad said that his shallow-stagger breathing stopped-his slow heart beat stopped and his eyes drained of all life and that was that. He died.

My heart broke into a million pieces-it was glass and then someone smashed it with a sledge hammer. And no one was there to make it feel better-no one was there to say 'it's going to be ok'.

I was alone and depressed, heart broken-it felt like it my world was ending and I was there by myself to stop it from falling apart. I was the one who had to pick up the pieces and find a way to put them back together again.

How am I going to hold my world up?

How can I pretend that I'm not falling apart?

How can I dig myself out of this hole?

"Go to Vega," a voice said behind me.

I looked at Dylan as I wiped away my tears, "What,"

He looked at me and repeated, "Go to Vega-its better then staying here with all the reminders."  
"What, so are you helping me now?" I snapped, "Did you just forget what you did a few minutes ago?"

The brown hair boy sighed, "I know I did some terrible stuff that you will never forgive me for-but since you didn't kill me-I'll grant you some pity."  
"I don't need pity-I need a fresh start." I said looking at my dead parents.

"Then bury them and burn them," Dylan insisted, "Go to Vega-it'll be new place-new day."  
That sounded nice-new people-new places-I won't we confined to this place anymore. I'll be like a kid in a candy story-sort of.

At least I won't have to be reminded of their death-I won't have to remember the happy times-I won't have to remember all the times where Jacob and I played together. I won't need to have to see how happy I was here ever again.

Because I am never going back here,

"When I do go-you stay away from me-and anyone I care about." I commanded, "And if I do find you and you do try and doing something stupid-I will kill you and that is a promise I will deliver on."

**Time Skippdy…**

I'd prefer not to talk about what I had to do to my parents-it was horrible-I don't know how we managed to even set fire to their graves and bury them. I was an emotional wreck-tears stained my hot face and I couldn't stop thinking about how I could have stopped this tragedy before it even happened.

But before I burned them I took off their jewelry-wedding bands-wedding rings-everything that was made them-them. Then I took off Jacob's shark tooth necklace-it had a black leather string that wrapped around a short white tooth. I knew that if I were ever to see Dylan again I didn't ever want to confuse him with Jacob-so I hid them all of them but in the process-I lost my locket-the only thing I had left of my parents-but I guess when you want to forget everything-you have to forget everything.

It was my fault-if I had just said no to Jacob this would have never happened. If I had just said, 'no I don't want to play today,' and meant it-mom and dad would still be alive-Jacob would still be here and we'd be a family still.

But no-I had to go along with Jacob's stupid game-and cause him to drown-and then he got possessed by that asshole Dylan! Then Dylan killed everything I loved and cared about-if I even see his face again I'll kill him before he can say stop!  
As I drove down the abandoned rode I felt empty-like a piece of me was lost forever-it was like no matter how far I drove I was still driving in place-like running on a treadmill.

My dad taught me to drive when I was tall enough-I was ten-now I'm 11. It was a rough start but after a few weeks or so I finally got the hang of it. I miss him-I still miss him-but if I ever do forget him-I'll always remember his eyes-his light blue eyes-they were filled with friendship-love-care-everything I wish I could see in mine-but all I see is emptiness-sadness and longing.

Then suddenly it felt like everything was just itchy-my arms-my legs-beck-chest-neck-it felt like ants crawling on my skin or a ton of mosquito bites that trailed from head to toe.

Stopping I pulled up my sleeves-tattoos marked my skin-I couldn't tell what they said-or what they were-when did I get these? I remember my dad had some just like these-or were they these? How did I get them?

You know what I don't care-who cares where I got these stupid tattoos? They're just tattoos not like they mean anything anyway.

**Time Skippdy…**

Driving up to Vega I saw a sign-I think it was the Las Vegas sign-expect vandalized.

There were huge concrete walls-with guns at the top-what good does that do? Angels can fly up there no problem and destroy the town without a second's thought-hell I bet there were angels hiding in the city without anyone knowledge!  
What's the point in hiding anyway? We're all going to die one way or another!  
The system seemed to go on high alert-the machine gun pointed at me like I was driving up with a bomb plastered on my roof or something.

_Go ahead shoot me-kill me-put so many bullets in my body you can't even tell it's me! Put me out of my misery! _I wished.

_**Stop being such a downer-this could be good for you! **_The voice in my head said.

_Stop acting like my mother-I don't need another one and I especially don't need an imaginary voice acting like one!_I snapped.

Geez if I'm going to have a conscience pick on every little thing I think or say-can it shut up once in a while?  
As I drove in the walls-it was organized chaos- people were running around-yelling orders-gathering around the jeep. Some were pointing guns at me while others were just trying to find out who and what I was. It was just sight of something I can't really understand. I'm 11-what am I going to do to your town? Blow it up? Please I almost never got out of my old house what makes you think I am going blow up this one?  
Looking around the car I grabbed my stuff-cloths and the last of the canned food that were in cans and stuff.

"Get out of the car," a solider ordered-still taking no chances on me being a threat.

Opening the door I gingerly stepped out while a camera was shoved in my face, and it scanned my eyes, "She's clean,"

"Clean of what," I wondered.

"What's your name?" The man asked-not bothering to answer my question.

"Janet Forest," I informed.

"Where are your legal guardians?"

"Six feet under the ground burnt to a crisp," I described as if it happened years ago.

"How did you find this place?"  
"It's called a one way rode to nowhere," I replied, "I read the signs that said Las Vegas-I just made the connection."  
The man still didn't trust me-he either thought I was a murderer or I wasn't telling the truth, "Are there any more questions you want to ask me," glancing at his name tag I read his name, "Sergeant Tret,"  
"How old are you?"

"11,"

"And you drove to Vega," Tret said disbelievingly, "How did you get this far without getting killed?"  
"Luck," I shrugged.

Luck was on my side today-but for how much longer will it be here? How much longer will I be able to shy away from death?

Because luck runs out-and only a bloody miracle can save you,

**Time JUMP!  
**I found someone who may be just as broken as I am-his dad left him and his mom died while he was a baby. Poor kid-death is bad-but a parent who gives you up and just leaves you is even worse.

"Hey Alex," I greeted as I entered the tunnels.

He looked at me and smiled, "Hey Janet,"

"Want to do something fun tonight?" I wondered taking an apple from my bag.

"Depends-what are we doing?" Alex questioned.

"We are going out for a little bit."

"Out-as in-outside of the walls?" He figured out.

"Yeah-being trapped inside here is pretty confining." I pointed out as I took a bite from it. It was crisp and juicy; it was sweet and gave the sugar I've been craving for.

"Where did you get that?" Alex wondered.

"Stole it,"

"You stole it-do you have any idea what trouble you could get it?"

"Yeah-but hey fish gotta swim-people gotta eat." I shrugged taking another bite, "I took two-you want one."

He gave me a look of disgust-disappointed in what I did to keep myself alive, "I don't want to eat stolen food."  
"Look dude," I began, "I know you that you want to get your food fair and square but-look at yourself-you are thinning out by the day. I'm just looking out for you-I don't need another friend of mine dying because I couldn't stop it. Now take the apple or leave,"  
Giving me a glare he took the green apple and bit in to it, I bet he thought I was a thief-a liar-but I needed to do what needed to be done.

"Alex I know this isn't right," I sided, "But there are just some things I don't need to see again-so just trust me ok?"  
His look softened when I said that-but he seems familiar-it's like looking at a photograph-you know who's in it but you can't seem to remember what.

"Thanks," Alex finally mumbled.

"Anytime,"

As the day was conquered by the night sky the white little diamonds in the sky twinkled as they looked down at us.

"Come on Alex!" I ushered as I ran through the tunnels clutching his hand.

"Where are we going?" He shouted.

But I didn't reply I just kept running until I saw the outside world, the stars were magnificent-they're were millions of them just shining-it was like watching fire flies go around blinking.

Walking up to the car Alex followed me, "I'm confused-what are we doing?"  
"Star gazing," I informed and pointed, "My mom used to tell me stories about the constellations-all the legends and myths. The tragedies and love stories-sometimes I'd just fall asleep while she told them."

Sitting on top of the mini van we sat in silence just looking at the stars, they were the only family that I had left. The only thing that I can hold on to-it's rather sad now that I think about it-but even the stars die as others are born-they all have their stories and every story has it ending, even mine, everyone does-and sometimes that ending comes too soon-too soon for us or too soon for them.

It's like as soon as we are happy something happens; we are left in chaos and a mess we don't know how to fix-we are left with the heartbreak and the memories that were left behind. And we pick them up-even with the hole in our heart we manage to go on-even with the sadness and depression picking at my heart-I manage-we manage to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"My mom also used to tell me when people died their soul goes in to the night sky. They become beacons of hope for others and sometimes they lead their loved ones home." I continued and pointed at two stars, "That's my dad and that's my mom,"  
Alex looked at me, "How do you know that-their just stars."

"Because they shine the brightest in my eyes," I stated simply.

**Time Travel…**

"I'm joining the army," Alex finally said as we laid on the roof staring at the sky.

The information didn't faze me-I knew he was going to do it. He was going to leave me. He's be contemplating it for months-I think Alex was waiting to ask me for my opinion-but to be honest I didn't want him to go. I didn't want to see him leave-I didn't want to be all alone again.

"Do it then," I stated, "What are you waiting for hell to freeze over?"  
He stared at me confused as if he were expecting me to say no-and as much as I wanted to-I can't-I couldn't-I can't just hang on to him like a teddy bear he has a life too.

"R-really," he stammered.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Do it before I change my mind-but Alex can you do a favor?"  
"Sure," Alex replied.

"1: Don't die and 2-don't forget about me."

He smiled, "How could I ever forget about you Janet Forest?"

As the months went on Alex became busier and busier-I can barely talk to him for a minute without one of his friends coming and taking him back to his post.

I've gotten lonely-more lonely then I am willing to admit-and every night I stay up just hoping Alex could get off and just talk to me-but he doesn't. I get my hopes up and they get crushed every time. It's like life is just beating me down more and more. Why can't life just cut me some slack? Why can't it just see that I'm already down in the dumps and I've got a foot already in the grave and just give me a break? Can't it just give me a moment of happiness-just one to heal my heart a little? Just a little?  
**Time JUMP!  
**Today was my sixteenth birthday-but I had no one to celebrate it with.

But it's not like I would celebrate it anyway-it's not the same without my family-it's not the same without someone I care about.

It's just another day in the year-what does it matter anyway-it just means I'm a year closer to death.

Alex wasn't here-he's working of course.

Other then Alex I had no one else-just me myself and I.

But then-as if life granted pity on me for a minute-a little girl came and sat next to me, she was 5 maybe-she held a moon orchid in her hand-I didn't know they still had those-I thought those were long sense gone.

"Hi," she finally said.

I almost laughed-her voice was high-like mine was year's ago-she just joined me for no reason like as if I were the only person around.

Looking at her she had tears in her eyes, "What's wrong?"

"My daddy died," she choked out.

_Yeah well join the club-my dad and my mom were killed right before my eyes and my own brother did it while he was possessed by an angel! Get in line for the pity party! _I thought to myself.

"Sorry," was all I could muster for pity-but I couldn't cry for her-my heart didn't break for her-it just a word that made her feel better-but the I finally found the words to say, "Today's my birthday-and I have no reason to celebrate it. I have no one to celebrate it with."

Her shaking hands gave me the moon orchid, "Happy Birthday,"

All I could do was stare at her-why would a little girl just give me a flower-her only parent died from what I assume and she's seeking pity in all the wrong places, clear salty tears stained her pink steaming cheeks.

Slowly I raised my hand and thumbed them away, "What's your name sweet heart?"

"Lana," she croaked, "Lana Scott."  
"I'm Janet," I informed, "Janet Forest."  
That was the first time in a long time I that I had finally found a friend. Someone who didn't care who I was-someone who just needed a shoulder to cry on-and she was the only one who bothered to come to me.

For the first time since my parents died I felt needed-I felt loved-I felt cherished.

For the first time in forever-I finally felt complete.

As I woke up I felt a weight on my arm-as I looked down I saw a red headed girl sleeping, _how long has she been here-how long have I been here?_

My left arm was trapped in a sling while the other is being used as a pillow-this is a position I know I'd find myself in eventually-but now isn't the time to be in it exactly.

Scanning my surroundings I was in an enclosed room with a small window on my left and the door a few feet in front of my bed.

It was night time-considering there were no doctors or nurses around-and there it was pitch black outside.

I sighed; this is going to be a long night…

Closing my eyes I dozed, but I won't even bother telling you what I dreamed out-considering you probably already know.

"Has she awakened yet?" An accented voice asked as the door opened.

"Nope-still sleeping," the doctor informed as he flipped through some papers, "Considering her injuries I wouldn't be surprised if she's out for the rest of the week."

"She's been asleep for 4 days," the other voice replied.

"Yes I know-but the human body takes time to recover." The doctor's voice pointed out, "She was sleep deprived-and it seemed she hadn't eaten for at least 3 days or drank anything that was good for her in that period of time."

It took all that I could not to smirk-laugh-smile-or saying something while they talked.

"I've got other patients to tend to-you know where to find me if anything happens," he stated.

I heard the door open and another voice come in, "Sorry,"  
"It's alright Sergeant Lannen." The doctor informed, "She isn't awake if that's what you're wondered."

Alex sighed, "I know-I was just hoping."  
"Trust me," the doctor said, "We all are."  
The door closed and I chuckled,

"She's probably laughing at something in her dream again." Alex dismissed, "I saw her crying the other day-you know out of all the years I've known her-I haven't ever seen her cry once."

I chuckled again, "Oh no I'm laughing at you."

Opening my eyes I looked over at Alex in the corner he was frozen-shocked that I replied, "Nice to know you guys missed me."  
Michael took a step closer but his face showed no emotion-what-so-ever, "When did you wake up?"

"Oh last night," I shrugged.

"What-and you didn't come and get us?" Alex demanded.

"I wanted to-but Lana was sleeping on my arm-I didn't want to wake her up." I informed, "I was surprised a little too-I expected her to be with Bixby-those two have been together since Claire let them stay in Riesen House."

Alex's eyes saddened and he looked down, what happened-what have I missed? What didn't I notice?

"Alex-what aren't you telling me?" I questioned.

His blue eyes showed pain-they showed he'd lost something dear to him-something was taken, something he cherished-or was some one?

"Bixby died,"  
Oh no…how did I not know? Why didn't I see this sooner?

"How,"

"She died in her sleep-they said she felt no pain." He informed.

"Oh Alex I'm so sorry."

"It's alright I'm fine." Alex assured.

"Don't say that," I ordered, "Don't ever say that to me Alex-I see the pain in your eyes-I know you're not alright. The more you lie to yourself the more it hurts."

I should know I've been trying to say that to myself for the past 12 years. Ever since mom and dad died I've been lying to myself that it'll be alright-everything will be ok-but it's not. I've never been ok-I put on a cloak and let everybody think I am. It's just the way I live-because I don't need people saying I'm sorry or it's ok-because it isn't and it'll never be ok.

To see your loved ones die-the people you hold close to your heart get hurt-it just breaks you. And you are never the same again-and no 'I'm sorries' or 'it gets better with time' will fix you. Time heals most wounds but the scars to leaves behind are forever-and I've learned that in more ways then one.

And I don't believe she just 'died'-Bixby was almost in perfect health-there is no way she could have died just in her sleep.

The people in Vega aren't exactly saints-especially the politics-anyone of importance can get away with anything. It's like trying to punish a little kid-you know what the did was wrong but when you see them crying-when you see their little face all depressed it makes you want to forgive them so easily-even if it's wrong to do so.

Besides it's my word against theirs-who's going to believe a V2 over a house leader or political leader.

When I find the person who did this-who killed Bixby-the person who hurt Alex-there is going to be _**hell**_ to pay.

"We have more things to worry about," Michael dismissed-geez-I know the guy is almost heartless but it's a sad topic-couldn't have gone to a new topic more-I don't know-nicely? "Do you know who did this to you?"  
I opened my mouth to say something but I closed it-I didn't want to tell them about Dylan. If I told them about Dylan-I'd have to tell them about Jacob and I don't want to-it's the reason why I came to Vega-I wanted a fresh start-and me just dwelling isn't exactly a good thing. It was one of the things I don't like to talk about-it's a sensitive topic. Not even Alex knew about Jacob-let alone Dylan-it's just complicated.

"Well," Michael asked.

I scratched my head, "It's sort of complicated,"  
"If you don't remember you can just tell us." Alex pointed out.

Oh I know him-I know who he used to be-I remember everything, "I do-trust me I do-it's just complicated."  
It's not like I wanted to this to happen-it's just I never expected Dylan to really come back into my life. We went out separate ways and never looked back. I haven't seen him since that day-and I didn't want to-because when ever he shows up-something bad is going to happen-and it always happens to guess who! Me…

"Besides I have to go anyway," I sighed-I didn't want to go home-I wanted to stay here in Vega-but something was calling me back and I need to know what.

Both Alex and Michael gave me the 'like that is going to happen' look, but I had to.

Yes I've had train of accidents and some really up-close-and personal experiences with trouble-but if I'm not finding trouble-it find me. And it hurts…a lot.

"Look I know you guys are just trying to look after me and all but I can look after myself." I assured-but after what happened I'm not sure if they believed me-hell I barely believe myself.

"Janet you almost got yourself killed," Alex pointed out, "What would have happened if you couldn't come back?"

"Trust me I find a way out of everything-this was no different." I assured and then touched my left shoulder as remembrance, "Very painfully-but I did."

But I knew Dylan wouldn't have killed me-he just wanted his revenge-much like I did. Eventually I got over it-I finally just let go-killing people to avenge my parents isn't going to bring them back and neither is crying about it. That's why I couldn't bring myself to shed tears all this time-it's crying over spilled milk-will it make you feel better…maybe-but will it solve anything-no.

The brown haired Archangel looked over at his charge, "Alex got back to your post."  
Alex sighed and stood up but glanced at me, "Don't do anything stupid in the next 24 hours."  
"I make no promises," I replied.

The hospital was so boring-it's like watching paint dry-the most entertainment is when a nurse comes in to give me food or that crap that call Jell-O or Red.

Why do I have to be here?

This should be a form of torture-it's boring me to death.

And I can't leave-because the doctor hasn't cleared me yet. I liked this so much better when I just left and no one cared that I left. Now it's like 'oh Janet's gone let's call out the Marines!'

I'm no important by any means or stretch of the imagination-I don't even know why I'm in the army-or why I was forced into it.

Everyone sees something in me-but what do they see? I see nothing-just an empty woman who has tattoos that can apparently save the human race. But I don't even have a clue what they say. Why can't everyone just see that Alex is the Chosen One-he's the baby Michael saved-I'm was just a girl who lived in a house with my parents and brother until they were murdered.

_**Maybe they can just see something you are blind to? **_The voice in my head stated.

_Oh shut up I don't need your stupid lectures right now._ I muttered back and leaned back on the pillow.

Staring up at the ceiling I sighed as I closed my eyes-but what I saw I didn't expect.

I was in the market-surrounded by people shopping-was the Princess there? I couldn't tell-was I by myself?

But as I took a step forward I felt myself being restricted-and a pressure on my head.

The whole place was dark-then full of life-then back to dark-like as if someone of flipping a light switch on and off.

There were words-I think-were they…

_Take A Risk To Get A Reward_

What kind of cliché is that?!  
My eyes flew open to see the perfect Princess Claire walking in, "Oh hey…"  
She smiled her white straight teeth, "Hey Janet,"  
The brow haired princess sat down-she was actually wearing 'normal' cloths-fancy-yet it's something I could wear without feeling over dressed.

"Alex told me you were awake."

"Yeah…" I trailed, "How's Lana-I heard about Bixby and-how's she handling it?"  
Claire sighed, "She cried forever-and she kept begging for you to wake up-I managed to calm her down-but she hasn't come out of her room since."  
That seemed like her-the last time some one she cared about died she cried non stop. I wanted to say it was going to be alright-but then I'd be lying.

"Have they burned her yet?" I wondered, "Bixby,"  
She shook her head as tears threatened to fall, "N-no…they haven't,"  
"Then I have something to do," I informed and started to get off the hospital bed.

"What," Claire wondered-but didn't even try to stop me.

"I have to go to Bixby's burning, it'd only be right-if Lana can't go I will go for her." I said, "Hand me my cloths."

**-breaking of the page or something-**

We walked down the main street-well I sort of limped but that's beside the point.

I looked for a flower vendor-but which one had the flower I was looking for?  
"What are you looking for?" Claire asked.

"A moon orchid," I stated simply.

"Why,"

"Because Princess Claire-Lana gave me one for my birthday when her father died," I said, "And for every year in a row-but she couldn't do that for Bixby-so instead of giving it to her on her birthday I'm going to give on her burial day."

My birthday-the worst day of the year, I haven't celebrated it with anyone besides Lana. She was the only one who'd ever really made the effort-and the only one till now I ever told.

"Birthday," Claire repeated, "You never told me your birthday."

"Because I don't celebrate it," I informed not looking at her, "It really doesn't mean anything to me anymore."

"What do you mean not anymore?"

My parents died-my brother got possessed by an angel-everything that made me happy-everything that I cared-everything that I loved-died before my eyes. I saw their life being taken from them.

I saw them struggling to hold on to reality before death came in a snatched them.

I killed my brother to free him from a life of torture. I burned him and left him to see to it he rests in peace.

And being happy with their places in my heart unfilled is possible.

But I didn't tell her that-she'd think I'm a monster-a monster that doesn't deserve to have her as a friend.

Entering pavilion I saw Michael-and oh crap I don't like my plan anymore.

Looking at one of the toys on display I whispered, "Archangel alert,"  
Claire stood beside examining the display of colorful wooden objects, "Michael always patrols around here-he goes all around Vega actually."  
"Really-no…" I replied sarcastically as I picked up one of the ballerinas. They were in different dancing posing and different colors. They reminded me of that jewelry box I got years ago. One of the last gifts my dad gave me to remember them by.

"Hm-I never pictured you as the ballet type." The princess informed glancing at the figure in my hand.

"Huh-oh-no," I dismissed, "It just reminded of something."  
Gingerly I placed it back down, "There's a flower vendor over there-let's see if they have it."

As we walked over one the woman smiled, "Hello Princess Claire,"  
"Hello," Claire greeted and then looked at the display.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" She wondered.

"Yes actually-I was wondering if you had any moon orchids."

The black haired lady thought for a moment as I looked around-there were lilies, sun flowers, tulips, hydrangea, roses…

Rose-that reminded me or Michael-he's deadly-tough-hurtful sometimes accidentally if not handled right.

But he's also beautiful-lovely-and perfect if you know the soft side of him.

I know many people would have put 'if he has one'-but everyone has a soft side-whether it be noticeable or completely covered up-if the person trusts you enough to let their walls down-you'll see it.

I chuckled at myself for thinking about that- it's like he's completely taken over my life. I can't think of anything without connecting to Michael-but I can't help it-he's just weaseled his way into my mind without even realizing it.

"Thinking of special?" The woman figured noticing me twirling the red rose with my fingers.

I shrugged as I placed it back, "Sort of-I guess you could say that-but I don't think he's much of a flower guy."  
Claire stared at me with wide eyes and a huge smile growing on her face, "You like someone?"

"I never said anything like that." I pointed out-but had I? Did I admit Michael was special to me? He can't be-I-ugh…

"You like someone!" She repeated, "What's his name?"

"He's no one-really." I assured-but he is someone-someone I can't love because he can never love me back.

"Is he in the army?" Claire continued, "Does he know you like him?"

"No-and he never will." I dismissed, "He doesn't like me-I know he doesn't."  
_**There's a difference between doesn't and can't. **_A voice piped up.

_Does it matter? Michael can never ever love me! _I yelled back.

_**Rules were meant to broken.**_

"How do you know that?" She asked.

"It doesn't matter," I said.

"Yes it does," the princess insisted-damn she's persistent; "You are in love."

I sighed, "And I fell to fast to catch myself before I hit the ground."  
More like Michael shot me in the heart before I could catch the arrow.

"You should dress up-make him notice you."

"I can't-besides-he already likes someone else." I said.

Claire gasped, "Is it Alex?"

I laughed, "Me-Alex-no way-he's all yours honey."  
"Why do you like him?" She wondered.

Because when I look into his eyes I see that he cares-I see the emotion that nobody else can notice just by looking at him.

When I see him I just want to take his hand and dance.

Because every time I close my eyes I just see him being charming and nice. I see him smiling as he stares into my eyes. And every time I try to stay away from him and I try not to think about him-he is just there-being him.

But I can't-I know he is the box of forbidden chocolates that I can't help but want. Even if he breaks my heart in the end…he will always haunt my dreams at night.

"No reason-just think he's cute." I lied-but Michael isn't cute he's handsome-he's everything-but I can't have him-I will never be able to have him.

Looking up from the cart I glanced Michael-walking around looking at vendors-"What are you looking at?"

Knocked out of my trance I spotted the Orchid, "Nothing-just found our flower."

I gave a slight smile and showed it to her, Claire examined it, "It's beautiful-I'm sure Bixby would have loved it."  
More like she should have loved it-if she wasn't murdered.

Handing it back I turned to the lady, "How much-"

Claire gasped and I turned around-the Princess of Riesen house just became a hostage.

A black pistol pointed at her head, "Any of you shoot-I'll blow a hole into her skull."  
Are you fucking kidding me? Who is insane enough to try and kidnap Claire Riesen?  
Apparently this guy-I had my bag with me-I'm pretty sure I had a gun there.

It's a revolver-my dad gave it to me in case of emergency or I was by myself in a very-very sticky situation.

"Hey brown hair-what the hell do you think you are doing?" The man demanded as he pressed down harder on my friend's head.

I smirked, "I'm taking a risk."  
Gracefully I took out my revolver and shot the gun out of his hand.

A loud BANG echoed through the air as the bullet hit its target.

Everyone was silent as the gun slid to the floor while the guy clutched his hand.

"Geez criminals need to go to school," I muttered as I stepping closer to him.

A side of me wanted to kill him-wanted to watch him burn. I wanted to see him bleed red.

"W-what are you going to do?" He stammered still in shock.

Kneeling down I pinched a pressure point his neck, "This,"  
But I knew I couldn't-if I a take a life there is no giving it back-no apologizing to the family that lost a loved one. And you have their blood on your hands that you can never get off-revenge is not worth price you pay.

The robber fell to the floor unconscious and other guards went to arrest him, turning around I looked at the flower lady, "How much is the flower,"  
She handed it to me-her hands still shaking, "N-nothing,"  
"Thanks," I replied-but I couldn't bring any enthusiasm to my voice. I almost killed someone-and if I didn't have any self control-I would have done it too, "I'll talk to you later Princess Claire."

**-Distraction-**

I went to the morgue to find Bixby's body before they burned her.

In Vega when people die-they burn the body so that they can't be possessed by an angel. It's sad when you see it happen-but it's for the best. We can't have a town full of angels who want to kill us can we?  
When I found her she was next in line for the crematory-I was just in time.

I laid her out and placed the orchid in her hand, she looked so peaceful laying there. It looked like she was just going to sleep-dead asleep.

She was dressed in some clothing that she got from the Riesen House. Her hair was a mess and her skin was deadly pale.

Like she was made of glass I pushed her blond hair out her face carefully, the dead need respect too-just because they can't ask for it doesn't mean we shouldn't give it to them.

A depressed voice sniffled behind me, "She's really gone."  
I turned around to see Lana Scott-her cheeks stained one more with clear salty tears, her red smooth hair one again frizzy and dry.

"Yes," I replied, "Bixby has left us."  
Glancing at her body I sighed, "She has left us without a warning or goodbye-we didn't see her last smile-we didn't see her last tear. We couldn't hold her hand while she left-but we can hope she left for the better. We can hope she is smiling down us up in the shining stars."

Standing up I walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry Lana."

"Why aren't you crying?" She wondered, "W-why haven't you cried all these years?"

I hugged her as she sobbed, "Because I've already lost everything Lana. I've already cried for the people I loved-I mourned them-I burned them-and I cried enough for a life time."

"My heart was broken-my world fell apart-my home was no longer my home." I informed, "But then guess what…"  
"Y-you got over it?" Lana assumed.

"No…I just merely found another family." I said, "I found you-I found Alex-Claire. Vega became my home."

Her arms stayed straight-as she cried, "D-does it ever get better?"  
I sighed, "I'd be lying to you if I ever said it did. It doesn't Lana-you'll feel like it's the end of the world. It'll feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. You'll think that there is no one out there for you anymore."  
Taking a step back I looked down at her, "But then you do-you find people you couldn't imagine of meeting. You eventually pick up the broken pieces and the holes in your heart start to heal-but you never forget-you never forget what happened."  
My hand pushed the hair out of her face and I dried her tears like I did many years 7 years ago, "It stays with you forever-it stays with you like a shadow. The guilt-the sorrow-the memories-but it after awhile-you find your sunshine again and life becomes some what easier."

"T-thanks Janet," she attempted a small smile of what it looked like-it was still a mourning child getting over a loss.

"Janet," a confused voice wondered.

Looking up I saw my blond haired friend walking towards me, "I heard about what happened in the market-why are you here?"  
Looking into his blue eyes I shrugged, "I'm here for friend of a friend."  
"It's your fault." A small voice said.

Oh no…

"It's your fault she's dead!" Lana yelled.

I had to stop her before she said something she'd regret, "Lana-"

"Don't you defend him-you know it's his fault-if he didn't bring her to that dumb bunker she'd still be alive today!" She continued.

"ELENA ELIZABETH TRINITY SCOTT-YOU APOLOGIZE TO SERGEANT LANNEN THIS INSTANT!" I commanded-my tone deadly serious.

Lana looked at me frightened-I've only yelled at her once before-it was stupid-her father died and she just exploded on this dude. As soon as I did it- regretted it of course-but then she ran-and I let her.

I know I shouldn't have yelled at her like that but- she's a good girl most of the time and she has to grow up sooner or later.

She's just hurt-she needs to vent it and the person nearest to her just happens to be Alex…

"Janet…" he trailed.

I looked at him and then at Lana-she was frozen in place. A deer in the head lights with no way out

"Lana I'm sorry-I didn't mean it-"

But before I could finish it she started to run away, "No-WAIT-Lana!"

Running after her I laced my arms around her chest, "LET ME GO-LET ME GO!"

Lana kept kicking as she tried to snake her way out of my grasp, "LET ME GO!"

"It's going to be alright Lana." I whispered, "You're just going to take a little nap."

"DON'T YOU DARE-DON'T YOU-"

Quickly I pinched her pressure point and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Lana's body became limp.

I had to-if I let her run she'd never come back. The last time I did-I had to go and fine her.

…I found her half dead next to a car passed out. She was so starved and thirsty I had to give up my rations for 3 days. If I hadn't done that-Lana would have never met Bixby.

"I'm sorry-but it's for the best." I informed as I picked her up.

Looking back at Alex he stood wide eyed-frozen much like Lana was, "I'm so sorry about Lana-she doesn't mean to act like this." I apologized, "She doesn't like losing people-the last person she lost was her dad. I was the person who stopped her from going crazy."  
The look he gave me struck me like a slap-it was the look he gave me when I stole the apples, "You didn't have to do that."

I sighed, "But I did-you don't know her like I do."

"But she's right-if I hadn't taken Bixby to that bunker-she'd still be alive." Alex thought.

"No she's not," I said, "She was venting-she wanted to find someone to blame."

"I am to blame."

**-Just a page break-**

"No Alex-blaming yourself isn't going to bring her back." I pointed out and looked at Lana, "I have to get her back to Claire's before she wakes up. I'll see you around."

"Nice job Forest-heard you saved the Princess-and you weren't even on duty!" Carrie smiled.

She is never going to let me live this down is she? She's been talking about for days now. Yes get it-I saved Princess Claire-get over it-it's my job whether I want to do it or not.

"What did you use again?" She wondered.

"A revolver-and I shot the gun out of his hands and knocked him out-how many times do I have to go over this with you?" I asked quite annoyed.

"Where did you get a revolver?" Carrie continued-I'm going to kill her-or make her so injured that she can't work for a _very _long time.

"For the last time I got from my dad." I groaned.

Did she think I was lying? I've told her the same exact story every time she brings it up!

"Why would your father give you a revolver? You're in the army-we have better guns then that." Carrie pointed out.

"He gave it to me in case of emergency-so shut your fucking mouth before I shoot it closed." I gritted through my teeth.

**-nothing to see here-**

As I sat on my bunk I packed my stuff-I have to go-even if it kills me.

Silently I went to where they kept the jeeps, it was a rather large hanger-I myself have only been there a few times-and one of them was just for a tour.

I didn't expect anyone to follow me-because it's the middle of the night-who the hell is awake in the middle night besides soldiers and me?

Apparently-there are.

Walking into the hanger I saw my old jeep-I still remembered the license plate after all these years. They had repainted it to a boring grey-green color with black lining.

Opening the door I threw my stuff in the back and started to get in-but something stopped me-

"I thought you were done with running away."

Looking back I saw Alex in full uniform standing at the entrance-I guess he does care.

"I'm not running away." I chuckled, "I'm running to,"  
He cocked his head, "Where,"

I grinned, "Come with me and you'll find out."

As he stepped closer a dark figure came out of the shadows, it wore a long leather jacket and had short brown hair.

"Michael-nice of you to join us-jump in," I greeted as I hopped in the jeep.

Quickly I gripped the key around my neck and took it off. Placing it in the ignition I turned it.

The car lit up and the engine started with a loud hum.

"Where are we going?" Alex wondered.

"A place I swore I'd never go back to," I sighed and pulled out of Vega, "I'm going home."

**And the universe has been set right-Bixby died...even though I don't even really know why she had to...  
****In summary if you didn't already know-Janet dreams of her childhood-you meet her parents-Jacob-Dylan again-and then she is going home...oh I'm going to fun with that chapter (No sarcasm implied)  
Anyway I hope you liked this chapter-there will be more out soon.****And I'd like to thank everyone who has followed and favorite this story and everyone who'd left a nice comment. It's nice to know that people do like to read my stories. ****So yeah...I'll see you guys later-stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


	4. Home Isn't Where My Heart Lies

**Hey my favorite, it's been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long since I've last seen you...well not really in internet time sorta. But HEY it's good to be back.  
****Just warning you guys-the next one will probably take a bit longer to do because school is unforchuntly back in session and I got homework and classes to do-you guys should know. Anyway-I hope you guys so sit back-relax and enjoy-cupcakekiller**

_**Previously on Star Gazing… **_

_Walking into the hanger I saw my old jeep-I still remembered the license plate after all these years. They had repainted it to a boring grey-green color with black lining. _

_Opening the door I threw my stuff in the back and started to get in-but something stopped me-_

"_I thought you were done with running away." _

_Looking back I saw Alex in full uniform standing at the entrance-I guess he does care._

"_I'm not running away." I chuckled, "I'm running to,"  
He cocked his head, "Where,"_

_I grinned, "Come with me and you'll find out."_

_As he stepped closer a dark figure came out of the shadows, it wore a long leather jacket and had short brown hair._

"_Michael-nice of you to join us-jump in," I greeted as I hopped in the jeep. _

_Quickly I gripped the key around my neck and took it off. Placing it in the ignition I turned it._

_The car lit up and the engine started with a loud hum._

"_Where are we going?" Alex wondered._

"_A place I swore I'd never go back to," I sighed and pulled out of Vega, "I'm going home."_

The car was silent-all I heard were the tires riding the rode and A/C blowing to cool us down.

Then a voice in the back piped up, "Why are you going back?"

My grip on the wheel slightly tightened and then relaxed, "I don't know yet-I guess I'll find out when you do."

Alex continued, "No-what made you want to come back?"  
I shrugged, "I don't have to have a reason to go home-I just wanted to go."  
"Is it because of your parents?" He wondered.

Images of their dead-lifeless bodies flashed before my eyes-it took all I had not to slam on the breaks and smack him across the face. Alex knew better then to talk about them-he knew that line-he knew it very well.

But I never told him how my parents died-he just knows their dead. He doesn't know that my possessed brother killed them-he doesn't know about Dylan. Alex doesn't really know anything about my past now that I think about it.

"No…" I replied softly, "But they were one of the reasons why I left and didn't look back."

"What were the other reasons?" Alex wondered.

Remembrance-I didn't want to remember what happened-I just wanted to leave and forget. If I had stayed I don't know what I would have become. I didn't want to become the monster Dylan was-so I looked for a fresh start.

That's what I wanted to say but the response I had was sad stare in the mirror,

This wasn't exactly my specialty-talking about myself-because after what has happened-I don't think there is much left of who I used to be.

The void in my heart and soul gnaws at me every day and my inner demons yell at me on every thought and breath. Some times I'm exhausted by the end of the day by just stopping myself doing unforgivable things.

Looking over at Michael-I don't even think he was paying attention-he was facing the window as he bobbed around while I drove around on the bumpy road.

The rest of the ride was respectfully silent-thankfully-Alex caught the message and stopped asking questions. And like the ride to Vega it was peaceful-no creature stepped out to harm us-no angels disturbed us. It was a calm ride-long-but fine.

Pulling in the neighborhood I recognized the streets almost immediately-these were the streets that I played on-it was empty-lifeless-everything was abandoned-the buildings were overgrown with plant life-windows were boarded up-or looked like black holes into nothing.

It just reminded me of how much we've recluse-all of humanity just inside walls like a zoo. We locked ourselves away from the rest of the world and just watched it die and let everything just become piles of nothing. We've forgotten the outside-claimed it's too dangerous-but isn't that life? Life is dangerous, safe isn't real-it is yet another word we use to make ourselves feel better.

Slowly I drover deeper and deeper into the neighborhood-till I found my house-it still looked like it used to-but just like all the other plants had found their way around the sides-making it seem older then it is.

"Here we are," I informed-but my voice lacked enthusiasm -I was home-but it's not my home anymore-it it's just a house now-just a sad looking house.

Because a house is not a home when the people you love are gone.

Pulling in I turned off the car and reached for the keys-but hesitated taking key out.

Do I want to go in?

Do I really want to see where my parents were killed?

Do I really need to?  
Unfortunately I do-taking the silver key out I slid it around my neck and joined the others at the door.

I remember this door too well-but I only remember being on the other side of it.

Slowly I opened the entrance and looked at the dark stained wooden floor covered in a layer of dust-everything was-some things had some cobwebs on them-but it was where I spent most of my life-just sitting and staring at these walls waiting for the day I could just escape and find someone who wasn't my family.

_What a fool I was for wishing for that-look where it got me._

The living room was across from the staircase-it was just the way I left it-the lesson books were in the baskets-all pictures were on the wooden shelf above the fireplace.

Walking over there I picked up one of the frames-wiping the dust off I looked at it-

The photo was of mom, dad, Jacob, and I-we were all smiling. Dad had his hand on my shoulder and mom had hers on Jacob-it was sort of symbolic I guess-I was his and he was hers.

"Who's that?" My friend asked behind me.

I chuckled softly but then cleared my throat, "It's my family,"

Handing Alex the framed photo he pointed, "Who's that?"  
"My brother," I said as I took another picture-it was me and Jacob together. We were in the backyard-I think it was a few months after his tenth birthday.

The fence backed us as my arm was hooked around his shoulder-his almond hair almost covered his pale emerald eyes-as he his pearl white smile shined.

I was standing next to him-my hair was the milk chocolate color it was now-and it covered my ears and neck as it glistened in the sunlight. My smile was genuine and went from ear to ear.

This picture was one of the last ones we took. We were going to take pictures for my eleventh birthday-but we didn't make it till then.

"You have a brother?"

"I _had _a brother," I corrected, "But he wasn't related to me-he's my mom's kid from a former marriage."  
"Had," Alex repeated.

"That was my dad." I said as I, "The woman next to him was my mom."  
"Was," he echoed, "What happened to them?"  
I sighed, "They died."  
"How,"

I said placing back the frame and changed the subject, "I'll show you guys' the rooms-we'll probably be here for more then the night." I informed.

"Michael-you'll be my parent's room and Alex-you'll be a Jacob's room." I informed.

Walking to their door I just stared at-I hadn't been here in so long-but I hadn't forgotten what had happen-I can remember it like it was yesterday.

The time where I lost control-I lost control of my emotions and let my anger loose and forgot about what I cared about. I forgot what made me human-I didn't remember that my life wasn't over yet and I still had somewhere, where I could have new life-new friends-a new family.

As I opened the door I let it slide open-what I saw was an empty room. A room that I didn't care for anymore-it was just a room with a bed. It doesn't house my parents anymore-it was just…a room that was in a house.

"I know it isn't exactly paradise-but it'll do." I said and looked down the hallway where my door was, "I'll be around if you guys need me."

Going to my door I opened it a crack to see a pink room-opening it more I saw a single bed that was leaned up against the left wall. A large white dresser was on the right wall with a neat pile of dusty cloths still there that were waiting to be worn-and a pin board above it.

It still had some drawings that I made-the solider boy-the little princess-for some reason it seems like I know them or they were familiar in some way. Then there was one of a man-the man had caring eyes-yet it face was hardened and seemed cold-but his eyes showed world of emotion that nobody seemed to see. I know that face-that's the face was the only man who made me feel something else. The man who made me feel like there's a happy ending. The only person who could make _me_ insecure,

_**Michael.**_

I remember drawing this-but why-why did I draw him! Why does everything come back to him? Why does everything I do have to be about him? Even before I knew him-I knew him!

Next to Michael were two feathers-black and white crossed; a red bloody drip slightly covered the top of the white feather and a clear tear from the dark tip from the black one-under it said:

_**Love Requires Sacrifice As It Heals**_

Quickly I took both off and stuffed them in my uniform pocket-why did I draw him? Why did put that saying next to him? Why does it always have to be him?

Why can't I fall in love with a normal person? When will I find someone who I know loves me back?  
Those thoughts swirled through my head as I went down to the pool side and sat down.

This was the place where I lost everything.

This was the place when my world collapsed into dust and dark.

It was a moment of lost opportunity-I could have helped-I could have warned her. I could have gotten dad to safety-before he was stabbed with those feathers.

But I didn't-I was too scared to do so-it was like I was just waiting for the nightmare to over-I just waiting for myself to wake up and see my brother jumping on my bed-but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew-I knew this wasn't just a some bad dream.

This is real.

This is life.

This is reality.

Even if I really didn't want it to be,

"Janet," a voice called.

I looked up and saw Alex, "Hm-what is it?"  
"What really happened here?" He wondered.

"Beer," I said.

"What-"

"We're going to need beer if going to talk about this." I informed as I got up, "It's down in the bunker-I'll go get it."  
"But you don't drink," Alex pointed out.

I laughed, "Because I haven't had a reason to-besides-I had to look after you-Lana-and then I got a job-so I couldn't really find a reason or time to drink."

Alex chuckled, "You can barely look after yourself-and you think you looked after me."  
I shrugged, "Hey I've gotten myself out of a lot of sticky situations-and managed to keep you out of the worst of it."  
His face became serious-yet twisted with confusion, "Wait-what do you mean kept me out of the worst of it?"  
"Ohhh….right…I didn't tell you about that night." I remember, "Eh-you don't have to worry about it."  
"Worry about what exactly?" Michael said-god-does he have to be a ninja everywhere he goes? He's going to give someone-or me a heart attack.

"It's nothing don't worry about." I dismissed as I went to the door leading to the downstairs to the bunker.

"Wait a second, I'll come with you," Alex called as he raced next to me.

"What do you think the boogey man is going to come kill me in the dark?" I groaned.

"Hey you never know," he pointed out.

Why do they baby me like this? Just because I get beaten up twice by an angel doesn't mean I'm going to get killed every other day-yes I do avoid death on any number of occasion-but I've been good until now-now that Alex finally has his tattoos is that I am actually back in trouble.

Not that I'm blaming him-I find my own way into things-and no one can really help me with that. I am trouble-if I'm not finding it-it's finding me. It's like death-but death as much I don't want to know what it is-it manages to smile and wave at me like a close friend.

I flicked the light switch and the lights came on flickering-but after a few seconds they stayed on-cascading the hallways with yellow light.

After a few moments of silence I finally told him something that I haven't ever told any one. A name that I tried forever to forget-a name that will haunt me forever,

"His name was Jacob," I informed.

Alex looked at me, "Who,"

"My brother, his name was Jacob."  
Walking down the concrete steps we continued our conversation.

"What was he like?"

"Creative, selfless, funny," I listed, "He'd be the ray of sunshine on my rainy day. When we were kids-after lessons-he'd just create games and we'd play for hours on end and drive our parents crazy."

Staring down at my locket I continued, "Every few nights he'd take me star gazing up on the roof. We'd just sit there staring at the sky for what seemed like forever. Sometimes mom would join us and tell the myths behind the constellations-and her reasons for the stars."

"Sounds like you two had fun together." Alex informed.

"We did…we did," I echoed, "But just like day and night, everything has to end."

Alex looked over at me, "Yeah…"

He notices me grasping my silver pendent and asked, "What's that?"

"Hm-oh just a locket my parents gave me." I informed as I opened it, "Lost the day they died."

"Then how did you get it back?" Alex wondered.

"Uh-someone found it and gave it back to me." I stated.

Before he could ask about Dylan I changed to the subject to something that wasn't my past but my future.

"Uh…so how are you and Claire?" I wondered, "I heard about the engagement and all…"  
Alex sighed and avoided my eye contact-this wasn't the most happiest of subjects.

"Well by the look of that it's obviously not good," I pointed out as we went down another flight of stairs.

"You could say that…it's just that-"

A sound of feet scurrying across the ceiling echoed through the stairwell, "Shhh…" I pointed up, "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Alex wondered quietly looking up and around.

I locked sight on a woman crawling on the wall-he hair hung down while she looked at me, "Alex…run."  
"What?"

"I SAID RUN!" I ordered as I grabbed his arm-adrenalin kicked as we sprinted towards the door.

Our footsteps echoed through the corridor as we fled our assassin. We heard the nails skid across the ceiling-as if alerting us where it is.

"I thought you said this place was safe!" Alex said as we sprinted toward the bunker door.

"I said it was my childhood home-I never said anything along the lines of safe!" I pointed out, "We got attacks every now and again just like everyone else."

As we got to the steel door there was a pass code covered in brownish grey dust, wiping it off I pressed in the code-but it came up wrong.

I tried again but it flashed red.

**Incorrect Passcode**

"Hurry up," pressured Alex who kept looking away at our enemy, "It's getting closer!"

**Incorrect Passcode**  
"What the hell do you think I am doing," I wondered as I put in the code again-what did I change it to? Did I change it at all? What was it?

Out of frustration I slammed my fist on the side of it, "Just work-damn it!"

The screen flashed green in acceptance-and the metal gears started turning-looks like violence does work on occasion.

As we rushed in I didn't close the steel door behind us.

"Shouldn't we-I don't know close the door?" Alex wondered as he started towards it.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back, "No-if we do we're locked in here-besides I have a plan."  
Quickly I pulled out my silver revolver and pointed it at the approaching angel, waiting for it to come closer.

"You're going to get us killed!"

"Most likely," I shrugged.

"And you're ok with it?" Alex questioned as he stood behind me.

"If you got any other bright ideas I'd love to hear them." I informed.

He went silent-yup-that's what I thought.

The angel was already in the bunker when I pulled the trigger and fired-the shots rang through the air echoing as they rushed to their target. Then everything went a chilling silence.

As the angel got impaled withed the bullets-her body jerked as they hit her and slowly fell to the ground.

A dark red substance pooled around the woman-she could barley lift her head as her face became paled from blood loss, her eyes were soulless-they were a pit of darkness. Her yellowed teeth were jagged and sharp.

"Is it dead?" Alex asked coming cautiously to the body.

"Yeah-get the blanket from the corner will you?"

He nodded and silently got the blue blanket-it was small-only could fit a child. It was fuzzy and had a little train going around the edges. The ends were a dark blue-it was Jacobs. Was…why does everything have to end so sadly?

Alex handed it to me after he examined it,

"Thanks," I replied softly as I took it from his hands-it was still as soft it was the day Jacob got it. Still the same it was many years ago-when times were different-when the world didn't seem s evil.

Respectfully I put the woman's limbs across her chest and put her legs straight-then closed her eyes and mouth. Her hair was long-it reached beyond her shoulders and it was brown-a dark brown like a tree's bark.

She could have had a family-a sister or brother maybe-a dad or mom that was waiting for her to come home one day. Maybe she had a friend somewhere that could morn her death unlike me.

But unlike her life-she is free-free to dream-free to roam-free to seek an end to an infinite story.

The woman is free to live amongst the stars to tell others of her demise.

"We should burn her," Alex said.

"No-we'll just lock her in here-there is other way out of here besides the door can't be opened from the inside-if she reanimates it'll just die in here." I shrugged as I stood up from my kneeling position and went over to where we kept the supplies-and where mom and dad kept their alcohol-who knew it would come in handy some day.

"We'll take the canned goods," I informed as I started to load my bags, "I brought food but not enough to sustain all of us."

As I stuffed my old grayish-brown bag with cans of food and then I got some bottles of whine, whiskey, beer-anything that would make me feel like the world doesn't matter.

Alex did the same except he just took off his jacket and filled it. After a few minutes of silence he finally asked, "How many times have you done that?"

"Counting that one," I sighed, "5,"  
My bag bulged-dark brown and red substances held in glasses stuck out of the opening, "My mother-my father, my brother, Bixby, and her."

"I'm sorry," Alex said as he looked away, "I guess you did have a reason to not cry."  
"No I do have a reason to cry," I informed, "I just don't say them out loud to others because they can use it against me."

I do-every hour of every living day I feel that crying would just make the weight lift off my shoulder-I wish that if I could just show that I am hurting on the onside-I could tell myself that it's the next step in forgiving myself and in letting them go.

Every night I look up into the sky and see their soul's shining-giving me hope. I see their smiles and hear their laughter echoing in my ears. They see the thing in me I wish I know that I had. But I am blinded by the past-I'm blinded by wishing-I'm blinded by my doubt.

"Crying because you are sad doesn't mean you are weak." Alex pointed out.

"Yes-but it doesn't solve my problems or fix anything-it can't rewind time and make things better," I stated, "All it does it bring attention and pity."  
"Yeah-but sometimes-pity can go a long way."

That was a point-and as much as it pains me to do so- he's right-sometimes pity does go a long way.

All it takes is some pity to make someone feel like they aren't nothing anymore. It makes the cushion for the agony and the depression. And when someone knows that a person cares it changes their view on others,

Like maybe somebody does know what it feels like to be them or there's a friend or person out there for them-as cliché as that may seem-it's true,

Going up the stairs I walked in front of him as the bright lights flickered.

"You have a birthmark." Alex said and I subconsciously pushed back a strain of hair behind my ear.

My hair was up today-I guess I was just going for a new look or something-considering I don't really have any normal cloths. I have money-but considering that I've spent more time in the hospital then actually working I haven't had time to spend it.  
"Hm-yeah…yeah I have one." I replied.

"It's behind your ear-almost looks like a heart," he chuckled.

I do have a birthmark-but no one really notices it since I keep my hair down to cover my neck. Only my family really knew about-Lana may-but she doesn't even about my tattoos-let alone my birthmark. It had a dark tan color and roughly formed a heart.

Dad always said it was a sign that someday I was going to get married and have a family. Jacob always made fun of the idea because he thought we'd never meet anyone that wasn't related to us.

I guess I proved him wrong in more ways then one.

Opening the door I saw Michael looking around with his hand entangled with each other behind him-his brown eyes were scanning the room-as if looking for a threat or as if an enemy was lurking behind a corner.

"If you're looking for a bomb I think you're in the wrong place-we kept the c4 inside the shed." I joked.

The archangel glanced over at me, "You ran into trouble again."  
"In my defense it found me," I pointed out and gestured over at Alex, "And I took care of it-see nobody died."  
"Alex could have died," Michael said, "Do you risk anyone's life if it benefits yours?"  
Ouch-that hurt-and stung a little-and coming from him that's a knife in the heart.

But it's not like he even had to be here! Alex didn't even have to be here! They're the ones who followed me-if they didn't want to be here they could have left a long time ago. There's a door right over there-if he really wanted to he could have taken Alex and left already.

I bit my tongues to prevent myself from snapping at him and sighed, "I'd die before Alex got hurt because my stupid mistakes."

Taking off my bag I put it on the dining room table and started unloading it, "And it's not his life I'm risking," I added, "It's mine,"  
My blonde haired friend came beside me and repeated my actions, "I'm sorry,"  
"Don't be-he's probably right anyway," I shrugged, "I bring people in my problems without even realizing it."

"Yeah but I'm your friend," he smiled, "It's in my job description to know about them and sometimes I have to try fix them-with or without your permission."

But when you didn't know I almost had none-when you knew nothing I was fine. When you were oblivious to my secrets everything was fine.

If I wasn't forced to join the army-I don't think any of this would have happened-I don't think that I'd be some much of a flight risk.

But if he didn't know-he would have been the one getting hurt and I don't think that I could have lived with myself if he was.

I chuckled, "Yes-but some of them can't be fixed."  
"If you let me I can." Alex pointed out.

If only that were true, if only my problems could be fixed with a friend that would be a miracle-it'd be magic.

If only life were a fairly tale.

If only life was a nightmare that we could wake up from.

If only there was a wand that we could wave and make life better.

If only there was such thing as a happy ending.

But it isn't-it isn't easy-if it was easy every one would do it-everyone would live forever. There'd be no thievery-no sickness-no hate-no darkness-and without those things-life wouldn't mean anything.

Silently I went over to cabinets and got a few glasses: whine glasses, shot glasses, and scotch glasses.

Going over to the sink I started washing them water, at first it was murky but after a few minutes it was crystal clear.

"This place still has water?" Alex said, "Clean water,"  
"There's a stream near by-my parents made a pipe and filter system." I informed, "And we used solar panels for electricity."  
"Where did you find solar panels?"  
I shrugged, "I don't know-others houses that were no longer in use-that's what dad always told me."

Bottle opener-need a bottle opener,

Scanning the kitchen I found the drawer full of utensils and appliances. Silver butter knifes, forks, spoons, steak knifes, can opener, measuring cups and stuff-ah ha-the bottle opener-geez-I didn't even know my parents had all these things. It's like a maze of clutter in there.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked as he slightly cocked his head.

"Getting drunk," I informed as I opened a glass of whiskey and poured it into 3 glasses, "And if I'm getting drunk-you two are getting drunk also."  
Now I remember saying that-

But I don't exactly recall when the dream became reality or when reality became the dream.

We were all sitting down at my dinning room table-with multicolored poker chips sitting in the middle. Normal playing cards were in our hands while a small cheap crystal chandelier hung over our heads.

My boyfriend, Michael, sat across the circler table and Alex to my left. Each glanced at their cards and looked up at me as they tried to hide the smug look on their faces.

"So why didn't Claire come-I thought I invited her too." I wondered.

Alex sighed and leaned back in the wooden chair, "She's planning a funeral for our kid Janet-why do you think she stayed?"  
I shrugged, "Well-I thought she'd like to get out for a little bit-being cooped up in a house that you made so many memories in with Bixby. Being in that house for longer then she has to be is bad for her."  
"Well maybe it's not easy to forget the past." Alex said throwing a glare my way.

I laughed and he gave me a look of disgust ad horror, "You want a bad past? I'll give you a bad past."  
Quickly I stood up went over to my bookcase.

It's a glossy blackish brown color-all the books were in order. But the weird thing was that the books seemed brand new. They looked like they hadn't even been opened or read. It's like someone bought them just to make the room look complete.

Wait-I know these books…do I know these books? They seem so familiar-I read these books before. Maybe I saw them-or read them when I was a kid. Or someone read them to me? It's so fuzzy-or blocked or something.

Kneeling down I opened the cabinet on the bottom.

That was the only dusty place in the room-no in the whole apartment. I had obviously neglected this only place. The place where I kept all the memories away-the place where I left all the things that reminded me of them. All of the photo albums-all of the things that I had hidden and locked away-everything that had made my life normal; it was how I kept myself of breaking down into a million pieces.

Slowly I opened the door and saw a white box full of old memories.

Michael had already gotten up and was standing a few feet behind me-not asking any questions while Alex followed his actions.

They didn't know about anything-because I didn't want them to. I was being selfish and I thought that they'd look at me different-I only wanted to be normal for once.

Then as if time skipped over everything I was on the couch-I felt like my head was in the clouds and my feet were in the water. Everything seemed farther away-and my vision blurred for every sudden movement that I made.

It felt good-the world didn't matter-all that mattered was the person that was in front of me.

"Y-y…you know-havvee I ever told you that y-you are the most handsome man I've…ever seen?" I slurred as I slow danced with Michael.

He was as drunk as I was, maybe even more.

"N-…not recently," He replied swaying me back and forth.

Alex I think passed out in the guest bed room? I just saw him a second-or a few minutes ago I think? He didn't leave-he's WAY too drunk to even open his car!

Ha…hm…why can't I do this more often-just get blackout drunk with a few friends and just have a good time? Live life like nobody was watching-can't we do that or at least act like there are no consequences.

"Oh we are s-so…goin-g to regret this in t-he morning." I pointed out drunkenly.

"Oh but it isn't the morning yet." Michael retorted as he spun me around.

Stopping me he looked into my eyes, slowly he caressed my face, "You have the most beautiful eyes Janet."  
I gave a slight chuckle, "I-I was…about to say that to y-ou."

Gradually our faces got closer and closer-and I closed my eyes-but then-reality stepped in to smack me awake.  
**[Page Break]**

At first I wasn't completely awake-I felt so warm and protected.

The sensation was like being held-or hugged. It was like a warm blanket.

Then I opened my eyes and expected to be in my old childhood room.

-but the reality didn't hit yet.

_Am I in another coma? What did I do? Did I hit something?  
_The late morning sun shined through the dusty window and cascaded through out the room, lighting the bed and the old light blue walls.

Where was I? How did I even make it into bed? Who took me to bed?  
Looking at my surroundings I saw a bare arm draped over me,

_Holy crap-oh no-oh no-no-no, _

_Don't panic-don't panic-_that was the only advice I could offer myself at the moment-because what was I suppose to do when I'm in bed with someone I don't even remember getting in bed with?!  
Curiosity was killing me-who had I slept-if it was Alex-I'm dead to Claire-if it's Michael-he must have been _**really**_ drunk.

As I glanced at the other side of the bed-my heat stopped-everything seemed to be white noise. Breathing seemed to be less then important-because at that moment I realized I was happy. I was more then happy I was excited-I felt like I was bubbling over the edge with it and it was strange.

I haven't felt like this in over a decade. It's like tasting a new candy or finding your first friend at a new school.

A smile started to grow on my face and I laughed. A real laugh-I don't know why-this situation was just odd in a way. I some how found my way into bed with an archangel.

A beautiful-handsome-Archangel-funny how the universe works,

The laughter was uncontrollable-my hands raced to cover my mouth-but it didn't help-it only muffled the noises.

Next suddenly as if on cue Michael opened his confused brown eyes, it took him a few seconds to even know what happened.

He sat up-barechested-staring a shocked-appalled look. His eyes grew wide as he threw the covers off.

"Oh relax-we didn't do anything." I assured doing the same-throwing the grey covers over to his side and stood up.

To be honest now I don't even know why I'm laughing-I can't still be drunk can I? I think I was self aware enough to drink a ton of water-but then again…I did sleep with Michael.

Oh Holy mother of God-I slept with Michael-_I slept with Michael_!

Why did I let my walls down-I put them up specifically for a reason! Letting people in just makes them more at risk for getting hurt. And it puts me at risk for getting damaged.

"This can't ever happen again." Michael said.

"Trust me." I assured, "It won't,"

"You can't tell anyone what happened," he pointed out, "It's against our law for an Archangel to sleep with a human."  
"Oh relax," I waved off, "We were drunk-we had no idea what we were doing. So in the long run-no harm-no foul?"

But I was lying-my heart ached for him-for whether or not I wanted it to.

**[Nothing to See Here]**

We were all down stairs sitting in the family room in an awkward silence.

Well…Michael wasn't exactly sitting-so much a few feet behind Alex.

Alex seemed to have a guilty conscience-he was staring at the ground twiddling his fingers. He kept glancing at me-as if I were going to break the eyes.

Those blue eyes were carrying the burden I held for 12 years-they held the secrets that I swore I'd never tell anyone. They told the sadness and anger I held inside-and the revenge I wanted so badly-but the closure I've needed more.

I sighed and went to sit next to him-I knew that feeling-I knew it all too well-it was just a shadow that reflected you-stalking you everywhere.

Leaning back I looked at him, "You know-not all the memories here are bad."

"Me and my brother-we would have lessons-and then we'd play afterwards." I informed and then went forward to the table-it was a glossy black coffee table that-like the living room-had woven baskets to hold the toys-DVD's-games-you know that stuff.

Inside the first one there was a princess and her prince-the princess wore a blue ball gown-there were white sparkles dancing around on the edges as the white lace hung bottom of the skirt. The sleeves were a dark blue that draped beautifully around her shoulders and came to the back.

She had pearl white gloves on her hand and white heels on her feet.

Her hair was a dark brown with natural highlights and her eyes were a sea green.

The prince wore a dark navy blue long sleeved coat and the same colored dress pants. A blue sash hung from his shoulder and connected to his him.

His hair was a beautiful brown color that covered his head-and his eyes were a magical coffee color.

"My mother got me these for my sixth birthday-we were still in North Dakota at the time." I informed remembering the night just opening the box…

I was at the dinning room table-a two pink-sparkling boxes were placed in front of me.

Frosting and crumbs were all over my face-Jacob was in the same vote. Except he was a boy and I was a girl-mom kept ordering me to wipe my face off-because apparently it wasn't 'lady like' to look dirty.

"But mommy-why can Jacob leave it on his face?" I whined.

"Because he isn't the birthday girl-and his isn't a girl-boys don't have to go by the same rules as girls do." She listed.

"Who cares about being a girl-rules don't have to define me." I pointed out as I ate the rest of my cake.

"Well-when you meet the man of your life-you'll thank me for setting these rules." Mom stated.

"How will I meet my prince when you won't let me out of the bloody house?" I muttered to myself as I grabbed present-it's so girly-what is she trying to raise me as? Does she want me to be her?  
"Janet-you know why there are rules-the rules keep us safe-it keeps everything orderly."

But rules are BORING!

All they tell you is 'you can do this-you can't do that' or 'you can't wear this-no doing this it's so dumb.

I want to feel danger! I want to be the damsel in distress-as bad as that seems. Safety doesn't exit anymore-it's just what we say to each other to calm others down. It doesn't have a definition anymore-it's a meaningless word.

That's all I wanted-I wanted was to live life-I wanted the difficulties. Because if I stay in this protected-guarded-'safe' house I'll never learn to survive-I'll never learn how to make it on my own. If my parents even would let me out of the house.

The only other people who agreed with me were dad and Jacob-and mom doesn't listen to anyone but her!  
"Oh come on Katie-it's her birthday-she can be as messy as she wants." Dad reasoned, "Besides I've seen you a whole lot more-"

Mom covered his mouth, "Dear-not in front of the kids,"  
My father chuckled and raised his hands in defeat, "Hey-their going to learn about it sooner or later,"

"Steven," she growled.

"Yes honey," he sighed and gave me an 'I tried' look, "Ok-sweetheart open up your presents."

Right presents-I'm supposed to happy!

Smile-being thank-

Oh what the hell I am I thinking? I'm just faking it.

Mom gives me so much troubled over stupid things-now she's replacing all of normal cloths with dresses and all of cool toys with-

"Dolls," I said with as much enthusiasm without sounding sarcastic-it's what I have to do. If I don't I get another lecture on…being a girl.

The dolls were actually seemed rather nice though-they were a prince and a princess. It reminded me of all the stories dad told us about-huh a guy told us about princesses and mom told us about myths and stars-wow-what a family I have.

All the stories had a happy ending-all of them. The princess finds her prince and they have a magical fairytale ending. They all have happily ever after-everything I wished I had.

But I knew those weren't real-they were just bedtime stories mommy and daddy read to us in order for us to fall asleep.

_**But-**_I can still _**hope**_ right?

"Huh-I ever pictured you as a doll kind of girl," Alex informed.

Snapped out of my daze I shrugged, "I wasn't-my mother was."

She was also a singer girl-a ball room dancer-a poetry reader-and most of all a wine person.

He chuckled, "So you accepted the gift even thought you hated it?"

I shrugged, "Yeah-but she put such high standards up for me-like I had to good at everything and sometimes even better then good-I had to be perfect."

"With Jacob he could jump in the pool smear chocolate all over his face and jump on the couch without getting scolding by them." I finished, "He learned everything that I want to learn while I was taught poetry or to play piano."

Alex looked at me like I was crazy, "Janet-do you have any idea how many people in Vega would kill just to be in school? Or how many people would give up everything to just have the life you had?"  
Placing the dolls down I picked up one of Jacob's old action figure that was covered in dust, "Yeah…but it wasn't always picture perfect Alex…we had good days…and bad days."  
"Alex-it's time for training," Michael interrupted.

"Training," I questioned and turned to Alex, "If it's anything physical-I wish you good luck."  
He rolled his blue eyes as he got up, "Why don't you join us?"

I laughed, "Ha-ha-funny joke-I have a trigger finger-not a round house punch and I'm rather proud of it."  
The blonde sighed and got up-oh I almost feel sorry him-he's about to get his ass handed to him on a silver platter, and I have a front row seat.

"I started some ice in the freezer-it should be ready by the time you're done," I said as I got up, "In the mean time I'm going to fill up the pool."  
"The what," Alex questioned.

The pool-I drained it when I left then covered it-I guess a small part of me expected to come back-but the bigger part of me wanted me to leave and forget everything. Their faces-their smiles-their laughs-the good days-the bad days-everything-and I guess it sort of worked.

"The pool," I repeated, "You know that huge rectangle thing in the backyard with the green cover."  
I pointed to the glass door, "What did you think it was-grass?"

Going to the door I stop and look at him, "Oh and if you destroy my house with your training-you guys won't be going back to Vega any time real soon."  
**[Page Break-Or Something Like That]**

I sat on the concrete surrounding the pool-it was almost filled up with the clear blue liquid that showed my reflection.

For so many years I could only see what I looked like the murky puddles on the streets that were left from the rain. But I could never get a good look-my figure was always distorted and colors blended.

"Hey Janet," Alex called, "Where's that ice you were talking about?"  
His voice pierced through my thoughts like a dart through a balloon, "Hm-oh in the freezer-but you may want to get something to hold it. You can use my old cloths in my room to hold it!"  
I heard him limp his way upstairs-that was one of the funny things in this house-you could hear where anyone was going-the floor always creaked so loudly it's heard everywhere. We could never get away with sneaking around-always got caught in the act

There goes the saying caught with your hand in the cookie jar…literally.

But I got good at it in Vega…a bit too good-I even taught Lana and Alex to do it. Alex never really relied on it-but Lana was almost as good as I was-am-it's complicated.

She stole a lot of things-and I hope her bad habits don't die hard-if they do it's kinda my fault. But she knew what she was getting into-it was my way or the highway-wow…I am really selfish aren't I? Telling people to do it my way or you're history. I'm just as bad as those politics…Michael's right…I do risk other people's lives if it benefits my own. Why couldn't I see it before?  
Then suddenly a force pushes me on to the floor, "EY-what the-",

Someone flips me over and I stare at my attacker-a blond haired-blue eyed man with a face contorted with anger and confusion as he shoved a drawing in my face, "What the hell is this Janet? What the hell is it?!"  
"I-I don't know-"

"LIAR," he yelled as he hand started to crumple it.

"Why the hell do you have this," Alex demanded his voice barely came down from a yell.  
I couldn't answer his question-I was almost as confused as he was. What was he complaining about? I don't think I had anything that could get him angry.

"Was it all lies?" Alex wondered hurt, "Did you just pretend to be my friend?"  
What the hell is he talking about? Pretending-lies-what did wake up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon?  
"Pretending," I questioned, "Why would I pretend to be your friend-what happened Alex-what have I done this time?"

His strong hands were starting to bruise my shoulders and his nails began to pierce through my cloths and into my skin.

"Why don't you tell me that?" He retorted, "Get up,"  
Slowly I got up and put my hands up in defense as he gripped my t-shirt, "Why was _this _in your room?!" Alex demanded.

The slightly crumpled paper had a face that I drew many years ago; he was the solider, beach blond hair, amazing blue eyes and a smile that was contagious, "You're getting mad over _that_? Are you serious?"  
Alex gave me a look that could kill as subconsciously forced me to edge of the pool, "Is this a game Alex-what do you want me to guess to the little boy is?"  
"Is that what got your brother and parents killed?" Alex wondered with a revengeful look on his face, "You thought life was just a game so you just stood there and watched them die?"  
That set off a fire in me. How dare he talk about them like that! He doesn't know them! He never met them! He wasn't there! He didn't see the moment before they died when they were clinging to life before death came and snatched them away!

So I slapped him-as hard I could across his face, "Don't you dare talk about them like that! You barely knew them! I loved them more then you loved Claire! So don't you _**ever**_ talk to me about not caring about them you bastard!"  
Alex's face turned from simple anger to a furious rage-and without a second thought he threw me into the pool.

The moment felt like forever before I hit the clear icy cold water-I could see everything like as if it were happening in a T.V screen. I saw the hatred for me in Alex's eyes-I saw the drawing I made slowly fall to the ground.

Then as if someone hit the resume button-I fell in.

The water was freezing-it was a cocoon of coldness-I was paralyzed-I couldn't move-for all I could do was move my eyes.

I saw a distorted figure was Alex standing by the sides waiting for me to burst through the water and spit out water calling him all the names that I've learned through the tunnels.

_We'll he's waiting for something that'll never come._

Soon my lungs started to burn-they were begging for some fresh air-but the surface seemed so far away. It seemed impossible to reach-it seemed to run away from my grasp.

As a reaction I opened my mouth to yell but rushing water came and entered my lungs. I tried to hack it back up but it didn't work-it just made it worse.

Finally I just gave up-so what-let death take me. Not like I have much to live for anyway.

_**You foolish child-do you not see that people would kill to have to you have? **_The little voice said in the back of my mind.

_Just shut up and let me die already_, I ordered as I closed my eyes and waited for death to finally take me home.

For a second I saw Jacob floating next to me-lifeless-he was a rag doll at the mercy of the waters current. His darkened almond hair made a pool around his face-as his cloths tried to rip away from him. I wanted to grasp his hand-I wanted to tell him that I'd be there for him. I wanted to give him a hug-

But I guess life has a different plan for me…

The only thing I felt was someone pressing on my chest in fives and the blockage in my throat loosen a little.

And muted sounds surrounded my ears, "I-Is she going to alright?"

"Just step away Alex," Michael ordered in his calm commanding tone, "You've done enough damage already."

Again someone pressured my chest and the blockage in my throat dissipated and I turned to head to spit out the water that clogged my lungs.

Finally I could breath fully again as I opened I eyes I saw Michael looking caringly into my eyes as his soft hand barley touched my face.

His cloths were darkened and dripping water while they clung to him-then I felt his strong protective arms lift me up-it was comforting. Without protest I let him-his eyes came in contact with mine.

I felt exhausted-and weariness took over me and I feel asleep.

My brother and I quietly tip toed across the wooden floor over to our parents bedroom, "Shhh-you're going to wake them!"

Jacob giggled as we silently opened the door and jumped up onto their bed, dad awoke groggily as he looked at us and chuckled, "Hey kiddos,"  
We both laughed as me tackled our parents, all of us were still in pajamas-Jacob wore a blue fuzzy train covered one while I had a pink enchanted princess decorated outfit.

All of us were laughing as we stared up at the ceiling as we lay in the huge bed waiting for the day to force us up.

Ever know the feeling where you're awake-but your not really awake. Like you're fully aware of where you are-you can hear and smell everything-but your eyes are glued shut. You want to going to sleep-yet you know you have to get up but you really don't want to.

That's what I was feeling-

I wanted to get up-yet I didn't want to face the day to come.

I don't want to see the guilty look in Alex's eyes.

I don't want to feel like I should get back at him.

But at the exact same time-I know I have to.

So reluctantly I got up-my cloths were still dark and wet with the cold water. My shoes were squishy with clear water and as I stepped with them my socks became soaked and left small translucent puddles in my tracks as I made my way to my parent's closet.

Mom had tons of cloths I could borrow-but none that I'd wear on a daily basis. She kept nothing hidden-and some of the things she had in there…lets just say if I was I kid-I'd probably be questioning why my parents send me to bed early every night.

On one side there was my father's clothing-shoes-weapons-yeah I know I have a strange family. But I wasn't going to wear his cloths-not that desperate.

Then on the other side there was mom's stuff which was roughly the same, dresses-high heels-sniper rifles.

When I was a little kid I'd sneak into here and grab one of her dresses and a pair of heels and act like I was a movie star or a fashion model. Mom always caught me in the act though-always made sure I didn't ruin anything.

But I'm not sure why she cared-not like anyone else was going to see it since we were probably the only people outside the walls of anywhere.

In the right corner there was a dress that I fell in love with-it was the thing I dreamed about wearing. But mom always panicked when I put it on.

It's a bright white color and it came down to the floor-on the back there was a see through lace-it looked like flowers almost. The lace continues to front and covers my arms and the top of my chest. A sweetheart neckline was embellished with small diamonds and beading.

It was simple-yet beautiful and elegant, like me I guess-but I don't think I as elegant as mom was. She was graceful in everything she did, cooking-teaching-dancing. Everything she did looked easy-I wish I could things she did. Easily and gracefully-but I know I have none of those things.

The dress felt different-I hadn't worn it in over a decade. I'm surprised there aren't any holes or that nobody has stolen it yet. Its stunning dress, I felt like a princess in it. I felt like I important-I felt like the world was looking me and smiling.

Next I put on some blue heels-black is so predictable-blue is more…me…I guess.

The guys are never going to let me live this down-I've never ever worn a dress before. Not in front of them at least. They are either going to laugh or they are going to be speechless. And to be honest I hope are,

My mother's heels made clopping noise on the wooden floor as I held the white dress up to prevent myself from tripping.

When I finally got downstairs I found Alex laying on the couch with a bottle of whiskey in his hand-must've felt guilty.

Before he could take another sip I grabbed it from him, "Eh-nobody is getting drunk tonight!"  
Quickly he sat up and stared at me, "Janet…"  
His blues eyes scanned up and down my body, "What the hell are you wearing?"  
"A dress dumby," I replied as I sat down next to him, "What you never seen a woman wear a dress before?"

His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out as he stared at my chest. Geez-guys-their all the same aren't they?

"Hey-my eyes are up here Romeo," I pointed out, "And if you keep making that face it's going to stay like that."

Alex chuckled, "So I've been told,"  
"Soooo," I started, "Can you tell me why the picture freaked you out?"  
He looked at me confused, "You seriously don't know?"

"Am I supposed to?"  
"It's me," he said, "That boy is me and that little girl-the 'princess' that's Claire!"  
His words stayed with me for awhile as I tried to grasp what he was saying.

I laughed, "Did you hit yourself on the head and not tell me about it?"  
Shock filled his face, "What-no-"

"Then how is that boy you," I demanded, "Sure he looks a little familiar-but you-no way he's you."

"Just tell me why you drew them," Alex pleaded, "Please,"

I shrugged, "I dreamt of the boy when I was eight and I drew him because I didn't want to forget him-I always drew people I didn't want to forget-Mom, dad…Jacob."  
"And did you," he wondered.

Forget isn't the word I'd use-forgetting them was never the issue. It was trying to not remember what happened to them-that was the problem.

I pressed out the memory so much that I barely remember my parent's faces. But I never forgot Jacob…I never forgot Dylan and when did.

And I'll never forget what I did, I killed him…the monster masquerading as my beloved brother and it didn't relieve any of the pain. It didn't make the memories go away. It didn't help me feel better about my parent's wrong death. All it gave me was less worry-worry that Dylan will kill some one else. That he'd come back and kill more people I've grown attached to.

I had this returning nightmare for the first few weeks in Vega.

I was watching Alex being killed over and over again while Dylan stood over him-his cloths stained with oceans of crimson. There was a smile of revenge on his face, his eyes full of darkness and anger. Those eyes I used to know-I memorized them for days on end. The good days…the bad days…and everyday in between-they gave me hope in times of darkness. They told me everything was going to be ok, they related to me in times of sadness and regret. But not…but now…they're nothing. They're nothing-I don't them anymore-they are estranged and meaningless.

"No," I lied, "I never forgot them."  
Secrets-they keep us sick while our lies keep us living. It's a lyric I heard from one of my mom's songs. She's put it on while she's cooking and we'd have a ball. It was one of the things I looked forward to when I woke up in the morning.

You could smell the pancakes or waffles from the hallways upstairs and it gave me a strong sense of enchantment. It was like airborne happiness.

Quickly I changed the subject, "So-what was the training session like?"  
"Oh same old stuff," he replied, "Physical training-weapon training, evictions."

I laughed, "Wait you mean like an exorcism-like the Exorcist?"

Alex cocked his head, "What's 'The Exorcist'?"  
"A movie," I replied, "Gave me nightmares for weeks-but it was so worth it."  
Alex's face was contorted with confusion, "What's that?"

"It's a movie-you know-oh never mind." I gave up, there was no point in explaining it to him. He's probably just going to cock his head and say 'what' over and over again.

It's kind of cute about how clueless he is about the stuff that doesn't go on in side Vega.

"So evictions," I said, "Those are…"  
"They are when I force an angel out of a human body." He informed.

I laughed unintentionally, "Dude-by the time you get the angel out of the dude's body-they human soul is way beyond repair or their just not there anymore. Their just an empty shell of what they used to be."

"How did you know that?" An accented voice asked from behind me calmly as steady stream.

Turning to face Michael I answered, "Michael-it's basic stuff-and besides when I hanging out around you guys half the time you sort of have to learn some things." I paused and then continued, "But I never said an exorcism-"

"Evictions," Michael corrected interrupting me.

"Oh same difference," I waved off, "Anyway-I never said it wasn't impossible-miracles happen. And if you get the guy earlier enough you could probably save him."  
I was very careful not to say God, Christ, or Jesus-because I know Michael does love his father. And I'd rather not have an angry Archangel on my hands.

"So who was the genuine pig?"

Alex's face was full of shame as he looked away avoiding all eye contact…was it really that bad? Who could it have possible have been that it left such an impression? Who made him hate himself?  
Glancing at Michael he had a similar look in his eyes-every time I tried to connect with them they darted away avoiding me.

"Who was it?" I asked gently, looking at Alex, "Tell me-I don't judge-trust me I've probably done worse."  
He didn't even bother to correct me or say that it's not true, all he did was stare at his fingers which he entangled.

"It was Claire's mom," he informed quietly his voice barely above a whisper, "She died because of me."  
I let out a sigh of grief-I knew Claire's mother. Not well-but she let me stay in one of the rooms at the house. She gave me a half loaf of bread when she walked down the street and saw me leaning against the wall drooling at some of the vendors. She gave me hope-hope that I had lost a long time ago. Her mother gave me look that seemed only my mom could give.

A soft smile with caring blue eyes-sometimes she'd talk to me. Tell me how it was going in the Riesen house-about her husband and Claire. Then on rare occasions she'd give me new cloths-shoes. And I didn't even know her-I would just graciously accept her gifts-I think the last words I said to her were 'thank you-thank you so much,"  
And all she replied was with a small smile and with caring eyes-the eyes that seemed to welcome me no matter where I was-who I was-what caste I was in…and then she was gone.

Just like that…

In a blink of an eye,

I never saw her again,

But I couldn't seemed to find the anger or remorse to blame Alex. To the Vega she was already dead. She died already. The woman who died under Alex's care wasn't the woman I knew.

"You were just trying to help." I informed, "How were you to know she was going to die?"

"I-I should have known-"  
"No Alex," I cut off, "There was no way you could have guessed she would have died. Nobody knows when they die. Nobody knows when they'll see the sun last. Everybody thinks they know what they'll do if something happens but the trust is-no one know. No one knows the future-it an enigma to you-I and everyone else."  
"B-but if I had just-"

"Alex Lannen-if Claire tried to pin this on you she is just as crazy as any nut job." I stopped, "Face it Lannen-everyone's world seems to collapse once in their lives into dark and nothingness-it's our choice whether or not to lead ourselves out of that darkness."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

I sat in the living room in where I used to learn my lessons.

Nothing had changed-everything was where I left it. Lesson books were in the baskets under the table. It felt like I lived in the room a long time ago-I spent close to 5 or 6 hours in this seat. I sat next to my brother-who'd leave notes in my book while mom and dad weren't looking. I didn't know I'd miss him doing that.

Slowly I grabbed one of my textbooks, it was the history one, had a few of the old presidents on it. As I opened I saw my name I had written a long, long time ago.

My free hand barely grazed the pen marks and I pulled it back. My shaking hands flipped to one of the pages.

It was the notes he sent me the day he left,

_**I heard mom and dad were going out to get some lunch. **_

_**I bet we can play a short game before they get back**_

_**Come on please?  
Please Janet**_

_**Janet please-come on-you know they'll take FOREVER! **_

_**You're such a goodie goodie**_

_**Yes you are**_

_**Yes you are!  
I'll take it back if you play the game.**_

I could still hear him laughing and see him smiling. I could see him running around. I could see him goofing and horse playing. And that's why I loved him.

All the happy memories made me miserable. It reminded me of how much I missed them, how much I am nothing without them. It reminds me how much I've lost. Everything-I lost everything-my hope-my light-my world-it was everything that matter in this life to me.

My face felt hot and red and my eyes were ready to tip over the edge with clear salty tears.

Crying…I haven't cried consciously since mom and dad died. I haven't had any to give to anyone. Not pity, no remorse, no comforting by relaying their emotion.

I guess I haven't had a reason to cry in a long time…when Lana's dad died I just sat there while she sobbed away on my shoulder as her tears drenched my shirt.

When Alex's dad died…when Bixby died…I couldn't make myself cry. All I could do was say 'I'm sorry for your loss."

But this time I can…

I can see Jacob's smiling face as he waves to me saying hello. I can see him laughing just to laugh. I can see us running around playing and just having a great time.

I can see mom and dad sitting across from me teaching schooling us. I see them walking through the front door as Jacob and I run to greet them.

And it made me realize how much I've missed them and how long I've been without their love and affection.

And it kills me.

I felt the tears slowly running down my face and on to the paper-but I didn't bother wiping them away.

With every tear that falls I feel the weight on my shoulders get a tiny bit lighter and the world seemed a little less dark then it was before.

"Janet," Michael started but stopped once he sees my scarlet face wet damp with tears. He slightly cocks his head as he asks calmly, "Why are you crying?"  
Looking down I read the notes, "I-I was reading t-the notes my brother gave to me a few hours before my parents died."  
As if he had done it a thousand time before, he sat next to me and looked at my book as he took into his hands, "You were schooled?"  
I nodded as I wiped my tears, "Yeah…my mom and dad wanted to make sure if we ever moved into a place like Vega-we could go into school without an issue."  
"Grade 10," He read off, "Didn't you say you left when you were only 11?"  
"Yeah…we started in second grade when we were 5, dad wanted us to learn more advanced things." I informed.

"Where did you get them?" Michael wondered as he flipped through the book.

"Mom got them at an abandoned high school we went do-we always made stops in between trips. Dad hated it when she did-always said it gave him heart failure when she doesn't come back at the time she says she will." I gave a slight chuckle, dad loved to make jokes. He was an accidental sarcastic person-since the war he said 'if I'm going to die-I'm going to die with humor on my side.'

"If you were schooled this far," the archangel pointed out, "Why didn't you get a job? It could have gotten you out of being a V1."  
"Because I had Alex to care for," I said, "Then once he left after awhile I thought of it but then I met Lana. She had no one to look after her so I took care of her."  
Michael looked at me, "Alex already had someone to look after him he didn't need another protector."

"You mean you," I pointed out, "You couldn't get near him without people being suspicious-I was the one who got him cloths-food-water, I was the one who made sure he wasn't going to starve to death!"

"He joined the army."

"Then got stabbed," I added.

"He didn't die." Michael retorted.

"But what if he did?" I counter.

"He never would have died-he is under my protection." He insisted.

"Yeah and when you're not around I can make sure he isn't doing anything stupid."

"And when you're not in a coma, I'll make sure he isn't being killed." Michael replied in his calm almost monotone voice.

Oh he did not just go there.

"He isn't the one who is dying! I'm the one who is continually confused for who he is!" I said that louder then I meant to.

"That's not his fault, you both have the tattoos-if any angel was to see you-they'd mistaken you as the Chosen One." The archangel pointed out his voice never went about a yell. It was amazing how calm his voice was. It was authoritative-yet still collected and cool.

Standing up with I looked down at him as his gaze slowly came in contact with mine, "I'm not getting into this debate with you Michael."

The man cocked his head as his facial expression gave nothing away, "I wasn't fighting with you."  
Sighing I left the room as his eyes followed me,

I went to the kitchen.

It was smaller then I remember-I remember that I could barely reach the top cabinet to get a cup. Mom or dad had to get it for me. We always had funky cups, one was cut in half and said; _I thought you said you wanted a half cup of coffee. _

_No amount of Coffee can make me a morning person. _Dad loved that one-he drank from it often-I had a vivid memory of him just sitting at the dinning room just staring off in the distance daydreaming of an imaginary world no one besides him could see.

_Ha-you think this is water? _Mom always drank from that mug when we were little and about to go to bed. She was always a little be loopy-her breath smelt funny when she would kiss us goodnight. Since we were little kids-we didn't know why-and we didn't question it. Even when mom could barely get up the stairs,

When I looked at them they keep reminding me of what I've lost-like the notes in the book. All of them painful to watch,

Alex, thankfully, brought me of my memories by asking the infamous question, "So what's for lunch?"  
I shrugged as I brought out a cup, "You're a grown man, figure it out."  
Grasping the cold metal bar I pulled it up, and clear water jumped into the sink and like I've done a million times before, I put the glass under and took a sip.

"They're all cans," he pointed out, "If you want me to cook-you have to tell me where the can opener is."  
Looking at him I laughed, "Do you even know how to work a stove-let alone a microwave or oven?"  
Alex gave me a defeated look as I chuckled, "Go get your babysitter to do it-he's been around for who knows long? Bet'cha knows something about pressing buttons."  
An impatient boy stood before me who was clueless in the kitchen, "He isn't my babysitter-I don't need a babysitter-you need a babysitter!"  
"Ha-very funny, how do you even think you made it this far?" I said as I started to count my fingers, "He saved you when you were a baby, he saved you from starving on the streets by creating the Archangel Corps and without that-you wouldn't be the solider you are now. Now he's been teaching you those exorcism things-"

"They're called evictions," Michael corrected appearing a few years away from us.

"Who cares," I said not even facing him, "They pretty much do the same thing."  
Alex sighed, "Just tell me where the can opener is,"

"In the cabinet next to the sink," I pointed as I took the last sip of my water, "Do you need help finding the bathroom next?"  
The sergeant laughed as he went searching through the messy storage area and pulled out things to clear the way, first it was the ladle.

Then it was the bottle top opener…

Next Alex took out the spatula…

Then the bread knife….

A flood of memories came all back at once,

_The scarlet __**blood**__…_

_Him begging __**me**_ _to__** stop**__… _

_My thirst of __**revenge**__…_

_My __**anger **__and __**sadness**__…_

Like lightning I took away from the counter and threw it.

I didn't care where, I just wanted it gone. I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to feel that anguish…that hopelessness…the unquenchable thirst of revenge. It felt so good…but then it felt horrible.

Now I had the attention of Michael and Alex, they were both frozen. Unknowing of what to say or do, they looked at me surprise and frightened.

"I-I'm going to go upstairs." I stammered as their heads turned to follow me.

**[Time Skip or something like that]**

The stars were beautiful tonight…they shined like suns in the night sky. There was no moon to combat them-they were by themselves. They whispered their stories and played them out in the sky as they showed others the way home.

At time I wished I was a star, I didn't have to worry about anything. I wouldn't need to worry about anything. I wouldn't have to be forced to lose people. All I'd have to do was watch the people I care about.

It seemed alright to be a star…until you think about.

I couldn't prevent my friends from dying. I couldn't tell them what to watch out for. I can't comfort them when they are down. I can't say it's going to be alright. All I can do is be there in the night and shine down to them-watching them.

I saw my mom and dad smiling at me-they shined to give me hope. They shined to tell me that everything happened for a reason. They shined to tell me that not everything that is bad has a bad ending.

Jacob's star made me laugh, it kept changing brightness. I loved him because of that. He always made something out of nothing…even if he wasn't here to do it. Jacob shined to say 'laugh…it may be the last one you have.'

I sighed, it wasn't the same.

Without Jacob, star gazing didn't seem to be the same. It was just a hobby, nothing more. Without mom it had no purpose-it had no purpose. They were just white stars shining in the darkness of the night. And without dad…the stars seemed to shine a little less bright.

"What are doing up here," a voice asked.

"Star gazing," I replied, "It's the only thing I seem to have left of my old life here."  
My accuser sat down next to me and I looked at him,

He had short brown hair, fair skin, a brown leather jacket that seemed to darken out in the night. His eyes were a window to everything he tried to hide. And that's why I loved to look in them.

"Michael," I said, "Did Alex send you?"  
The archangel shook his head, "No,"

"Then why are you up here?" I questioned.

"Why are you up here?" Michael retorted.

Chuckling I replied, "I used to do this all the time…my brother and I would come up here before down would break. We'd watch the stars fall away as the sun rose and the moon disappeared into the forever blue sky."

"You're parents let you climb on the roof?" He questioned.

"Only when it wasn't raining," I smiled turning my head to him, "Jacob loved the stars-he had a telescope, he'd read his astronomy books, over and over again. Mom would tell him the myths about the constellations before bed. I would stand in the doorway sometimes and listen…they were fascinating."

Michael eventually laid down beside me looking up at the diamond sparkling in the sky. His eyes scanned the stars trying to figure out what I was talking about.

"You know almost all soldiers are terrified of you." I informed.

"They should be," He replied non-caringly, "Why aren't you?"  
I half chuckled, "Because I know under your killing-sergeant commando exterior there is a slightly less serious killing sergeant commando."

"You think I am capable of love and compassion?" Michael question as he faced me.

I looked him, "I know you are."

"What makes you think that?" He wondered.

"Your eyes," I informed, "You always hide your true emotions from your facial or body features-but your eyes always show your sadness, desire, anger…love."

"I'm not human." The archangel pointed out.

"You don't have to be human Michael to have human emotions," I smiled, "You only have to be able let yourself feel them."

**[Don't look behind you]**

It was midday I think; I had just turned off the stove and put the steaming pot in the sink.

The kitchen was full of a salty aroma that if you were hungry enough it mouth water. Alex was on the couch exhausted, Michael and him were training again. At first it was funny about how much he hurt-then it turned it to worry. How much training did Alex have to go through in order to become 'the chosen one', because to be-it looks like he's being the 'beaten in half one'.

Michael was outside patrolling-he did this every afternoon, gave us a break of Mr. Serious for a few hours. I found it lonely after awhile-Alex typically fell asleep after a few minutes and I was standing around doing nothing. No one to talk to, no one to bicker with, by the end I couldn't wait for Michael to come home.

I was outside in the front of the house when he came. He was dressed all in red armor, a helmet covered his face. I couldn't tell who he was-why he was there. His wings were a light red as they went back into his back, the angel took a few steps closer to me.

"Um hi," I greeted taking a few steps backwards as a precaution, "Who exactly are you?"  
The man bared his teeth as he stated his name, "Furiad,"

"Ah," I replied, "Um-are y-you looking for someone?"  
He gave a malicious smile as he gripped my arm, "You'll do just fine."  
"W-what," I stammered trying to take my hand back from his death like grip.

"Furiad," a harsh voice gritted through their teeth, "Let her go,"  
The angel pulled me to his chest as one of his sword threatened to engrave my through with pools of blood, "Now why would I do that Michael?"

"She's done nothing," Michael said his hands contained silver blades, sharpened to the tip, "She is of no use to you."  
"But you care about her don't you," Furiad teased his grip getting tighter and tighter, "You care for a human-a mortal-a vessel…what a disappointment."

Michaels clenched his jaw, his brown eyes full of fiery fury, but stood still not wanting to play Furiad's, "I said let her go-she has no place in your war."  
"Oh you do care," he grinned, "I wonder what you'll do…when she dies?"  
"No stop," I begged, "Plea-"

My sentence was interrupted as I felt a blade pierce my skin and enter my body. It was cold, and gave pain to wherever it went. I felt it go through my heart…there is no words to describe it. No words to tell on how it feels to have your heart stop beating.

All I have to say is the world doesn't seem to be real anymore.

Everything was muted-no words could be heard, I couldn't move.

Cold…

That's what I felt cold…

Sleepy…sleepy…

I couldn't keep my eyes open…the last thing I saw was Michael worried face. His eyes full of pain and sadness as he held my lifeless body to his chest.

A tear managed to escape his eye…and my last amount of energy went to give a smile to him. I hope he saw it…because I don't think I could feel it on my face.

Then that was that…

….

….

….

I was falling…

Falling in darkness…

...I don't know where I am or where I'm going.

Who am I?  
Why am I falling?  
Where am I?  
Its hits me, I see a face…a blurry one.

It had beautiful brown eyes…

A stern serious face…

Short darkish brown hair, he keeps saying something to me.

What was it?

"_Janet," he said._

"_Janet," he repeated._

"_Janet," the man insisted._

**Michael…**

I left him there…

I left him crying…

I didn't even say goodbye…

I couldn't say I loved him.

I couldn't ask if he loved me back.

All the things I didn't do go through my head, it's so sad…so depressing.

It's heart breaking…

A tear escaped me…I won't go-I can't go.

_**I need to go back.**_

At that moment a bright white light blinded my eyes, it steaming…and numbing.

At that moment I felt life, I felt the warmth of the sun kissing my skin and the cold water wash my toes. I felt happy…I felt at peace. The world was mine.

And then…the air came back to my lungs.

My eyes opened and the color of life seemed too bright, my hand reached through the ground as I pulled myself out of my grave. Everything was brightened...every sense was heightened, it was painful.

The air was too rich; it felt like I was coughing up a lung. After a minute or so my body was used to the world it was in now. My eyes adjusted to the sunlight radiating down into them.

I'm back…I back to where I began…and where I ended.

…I just hope I'm not too late.

**Before you guys say it-  
****Oh...my...god...  
Yes-yes I did kill off my main character-but I brought her back to life and I'm going to explain that later in later chapters or the next one...I don't know at some point in the future. So...tell me if you like it or if you think it could be improved. I enjoy reading comments (even if it's the bad ones), so yeah again-the next one will probably take awhile because school is back in session and by the time I get back and do all of my homework in stuff. I have like 5 hours, so if there isn't an update within a month or so-just know what I'm doing ok. So...till the next time-stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller**


	5. If I Left Would You Miss Me?

**Hey my favorite people of the internet! Long time no see, sorry I couldn't get this out earlier-but you know school. I don't make the rules I just follow them...no matter how stupid they are. Anyway-I actually kind of had fun at the end of this chapter. So I'll see you at the end-so sit back...relax...and enjoy.-cupcakekiller12**

"Gabriel," he said with respect, "I found them."  
The archangel leaned forward in interest of what Furiad was saying, "And what happened?"  
A look of success came upon Furiad's face as he told the angel what had happened.

By the end a mixed look of horror and fury appeared on Gabriel as he stood up, "You did what?"  
"I killed the girl." The red armored angel repeated now confused on what he done that was so wrong.

Gabriel had told him to go and seek out Michael and his charge. He did-but what he didn't expect to find was a woman outside looking up at the sky boredly.

When Michael came back and tried to talk him out of touching the girl, Furiad saw it as an advantage. He thought it would mess with Michael, and the Chosen one. It could have benefited Gabriel's war…but why is he so angry?  
"Do you know who she is?" Gabriel asked harshly, his tone rising as it began to be full of worry.  
There was no reply from Furiad, he was looking sternly at his commander, but his eyes filled with fear as he took a step backwards.

"Just by touching her, you could have started another war!" Gabriel exclaimed as he slowly paced the room.

"I don't understand," Furiad said calmly, his eyes followed Gabriel's movements as he moved back and forth.

Gabriel was never this panicked before, there wasn't ever a day he seemed stressed about losing the war against his brother. Everyday he assured himself his brother would fail soon-Michael would slip up and his angels would rule earth without hesitation.

The humans would be gone and the angel race would rule the world. Michael would come back to where he belongs and all will be right.

But this…this is changing the rules…

"She is going to be very angry," Gabriel mumbled to himself as he ran his fingers through his dark hair, "Furious…"

"Who is-the girl?" Furiad wondered.

"No…" Gabriel sighed as he turned to the red armored angel, "Her mother,"

**OOOOOO**

I felt dirty; my skin was caked in dirt as it hid under my finger nails and clung to my hair. The light brown frost seemed to be in every practical of clothing and my shoes were drenched in the yucky feeling of being stuck in mud.

Slowly I trudged my way into the house, I felt exhausted now. Just walking the few feet from my grave to the front door-it was like running a mile.

My limbs were stuff as sticks; they wouldn't bend like they normally should do. The feeling of hot fire engulfed my arms and legs; it was painful to move-walk-crawl. Everything was impossible.

There was a shower upstairs…but could I make it?  
The climb seemed to never end, every step I took, the top went farther and farther away. _Right now it seems to be less painful to fall down the stairs then it is to climb up them. _But I continue on…I have to make it…I have to get back-to Vega.

Finally my right foot touched the top of the dark colored wood, and victory called my name. It wasn't much…but hey I came back from the dead right?

Suddenly my knees started buckle, and I leaned on the wall for support. The bathroom was only a few feet away…just a few…more…steps….

Summoning all the strength I had, I moved my feet, _left…right…left…right, _by the end of the fifth step I was breathing like I had run a marathon. Everything was so hard, lifting my feet up and down, dragging my jello legs across the floor; it's like moving through quick sand. The more you struggle-the more you sink.

At last…I could see the glossy brown door, the hope I had come up for. Slowly my hand gripped the cold gold door knob and turned it. The door opened as it revealed, beautiful brown tile floors, a large tub with a glistening silver shower head. A baby blue shower curtain decorated with white flower that danced across it, hung next to the edge of the tub.

Again my stiff hand turned the knob as a clear steaming hot liquid poured through the steel tube. Not even bothering to take my cloths off I stepped in and took a deep breath.

It felt good…the warm water relaxed my tense muscles and mended my old bones. The water slowly filled the tub as it the dirt escaped my cloths and skin.

Who ever said your life flashes before your eyes when you die…_**they were wrong.**_ All I saw was Michael…I saw him smile…his tears; I felt his fiery warmth surround me. He brought me back…he's the thing that I had to come back for. Leaving him wasn't an option…he's my sun, my clarity…but him leaving me was always the risk that I had to understand.

Not even bothering to move I stared at the ceiling and breathed in air to my lungs, closing my eyes I saw nothing…just darkness. No light shined…no sound…no distractions which I craved.

A slow clapping echoed throughout my ears and a low chuckle followed it, my eyes sprang open as I looked around franticly. Who had broken into my house, who knew I was in the bathroom.

"Calm down Janet," a familiar voice eased.

Where had I heard that voice before…so strong-yet calm…lovely and charming. A voice that I yearned to hear again…

Looking over to my side I saw a short brown haired man, his face showed no emotions what so ever. But his eyes showed how much he cared…they showed his sadness…his anger…his love. I couldn't fathom how he got in here. He saw me die!  
How did I know I was here?  
How did he know that I came back?  
Why is he here? Don't archangels have any dignity what so ever?  
"M-Michael," I stammered, "W-w-what the hell a-are you doing here?"

Michael slightly cocked his head as his face was unreadable, "What makes you think I'm here Janet?"  
That kind of made sense…he literately just appeared out of thin air. At least the real Michael you know he's around and can stop in at any time when you least realize it. Scares me half to death sometimes,

"H-how a-are you here,"  
"You're tattoos," he replied in his almost monotone voice.

The tattoos…I almost forgot about them.

_Almost…_

Slowly my shaking hands lifted my wet sleeves; they exposed black tattoos that circled my arm. But they weren't still…they were moving around-turning, the sight was fascinating-the intricate designed lettered swirled. It's the first time I've ever seen them do that.

My finger traced the movements as I stared dumbfound at the sight unfolding before me.

"They've never done that before." I said.

"Yes they have," he informed, "You just don't listen to them."  
I chuckled, "If they would talk I think I could listen,"  
"They showed you images when you were a little girl," Michael stated, "They told you that the princess was going to be stabbed-"

"Who gave you permission to search through my memories?" I snapped as I leaned forward to get up from the tub.

"I wouldn't recommend you get up yet," the archangel said uncaringly, but his eyes followed me wherever I went, "It's too early to be walking around in your state."  
Gripping the sides I pushed up, but my muscles burned from the simple motion. My legs continuously failed to be able to hold my body weight, as my feet were slipping against the slick bottom. Slowly, after much persistence, I got out of the white prison. Standing on the cool wet tile my legs felt like jelly, they trembled each time I took a step. Suddenly they buckled and my shaking hands clung to the counter. Regaining my balance I took another step, but Michael interrupted me.

"You're not going to make it very far." His tone seemed playful and had a hint of laughter. I wasn't used to him having a tone like that. I was used to Michael having a serious attitude and being like, 'if you don't listen to me-you are a dead man walking.'

Opening the door I took a step forward, but the slick floor went against me.

The feeling of falling is weird-its like life goes in slow motion right before your hit the ground. It feels like you're just there forever, and then…the pain hits you.

As soon as my body hit the ground a fire of pain went through me. I hissed in pain, as I looked over at Michael who was giving me that look ok, 'you should've listen to me.'

"I told you so Janet." He pointed out crossing his arms.

"Shut up."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
**After cleaning myself up I was famished, my stomached roared for food. My throat was parched for water, how long has it been since I've died? Days…weeks…months….years…it can't be years can it? The haze of death made me time blind, I couldn't tell whether an hour had passed or a few minutes. The sun seemed to lower then it was before…or was it higher? I honestly can't tell anymore. At least I can tell my way around the house. We didn't have any obvious clocks around here, mom had a watch she'd use for lessons, and dad had an old alarm clock that broke a long time ago. Me and Jacob woke up when the sun rose, the only we could tell time was by when mom and dad went out for supplies.

"It's only been two days," Michael informed appearing again to 'help' me adjusting.

Looking in the fridge I found an old can of beans of beans. I guess Michael and Alex left everything the way it is.

I wonder how they're doing. Do they miss me? Does Michael miss me? I guess it'll be kinda of rude just waltzing in there and saying, 'hey I know I died and all-but what's going on?'

I chuckled; Michael would probably kill me again. Or Alex would. I'm not sure if they could though. If someone pointed a gun at my head and told me to shoot them…I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could hurt Alex or Michael-no matter how much they deserved it.

Putting a pot on the stove the brown beans slide out and on to the sizzling pan, it would only take a few minutes, to reheat them.

"Mommy-mommy," I heard in the distance, "Mommy look what I made!"  
Looking to the right I saw my younger self, long shiny milk chocolate that came down to my chest, happiness filled me.

My mother, her rich almond hair hung right above her neck, she wore a long sleeved stripped grey shirt, and khaki Capri's. She looked at me with a warm smile as she tended to the stove, "Yes Janet,"

Kneeling down she came down to my level and looked into my azure eyes, I handed her a drawing. It was Michael-the drawing of him that I completely forgot about. Mom's eyes scanned the page and she looked at me, "I think you missed a spot,"  
My younger self cocked their head as she grasped the square piece of paper as she looked at the drawing, "What-I thought I-"

Playfully my mom messed up my long hair and laughed, "I'm just messing with you-it's beautiful Janet. You have a real talent."  
The young urge to please was fulfilled, my child form was smiled and skipped out of the room…

"Janet," Michael snapped his fingers in front of my face trying to get me to snap of my daze, "The stove,"  
"Right," I said dazed and twisted the knob and turned it off.

The beans tasted terrible, putting them in my mouth was like trying to eat sandy glue and cardboard. Spitting them out the small brown beans fell back into their bowl as I ran to sink to wash out my mouth. The water cooled the fire in my mouth, it washed away the manure.

"Ack,"

Was all food going to taste like that?  
"No," Michael answered reading my mind, "You died, were burned to ashes, and then were brought back to life. Not all of your body is done regenerating to where it was before it died."  
"Geez-you say like it's happened before." I muttered as fresh water rolled down my chin.

"Because it has,"  
**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

I threw a wad of cloths into a duffle bag and while I randomly chose outfits without looking, at this point I didn't care what I was wearing. I'll be wearing a uniform anyway.

While looking around I found something I didn't think I'd ever see again. I thought I got rid of them a long time ago. In a shoe box I found an intricate silver band that wrapped around a dust covered diamond like ivy. Then next to it on a thin silver wire there were two other plane silver rings engraved with an intricate design that looped around it.

Mom and dad's engagement rings, after the angel invasion and desolation there weren't really any real reason to have a real wedding so instead we had an impromptu family wedding. Mom wore that elegant lace dress; dad wore a black polo and holey denim jeans. They exchanged vows, kissed and put the rings on. And then of course, _they_ came.

Because it wouldn't be a real wedding without some party crashers right?  
Then there was Jacob's shark tooth, we found it in one of those trinket shops near the beach while we traveling down from Maine. Jacob fell in love with it, he wouldn't ever take it off…the only time he ever did was when Dylan possessed him, and even then it didn't go off willingly.

It was then I remember my locket, did it come back with me? My shaking hands felt my chest to feel a cold metal object hanging there. A sigh of relief escaped me, as I placed the chain of rings and the small of white shark's tooth entangled with a dark leather cord. I had to save something before I left. Because once I leave-this isn't going to be a house anymore.

My imaginary Michael must've gotten the message. He has stopped added comments each and every movement I made. I guess he isn't questioning my moral this time around. I'm not even going to think about that thing Michael said. I've got enough things to worry about. The last thing I need to worry about is about how long I've known him.

Well in my defense I probably didn't know him-he was probably my imaginary friend-which is ever more creeper if you really think about it. Can you imagine that Archangel being someone's imaginary friend? How many times have I cry while he was around?  
Stop-I need to stop thinking about it.

First I need to think about breaking back into Vega without anyone noticing me as Janet. Cut my hair maybe? Bleach it? A hair cut can do magical things to people. But will it work? Will Alex and Michael know it's me?  
A part of me wanted to go back to both of them and hug them so hard their insides get bruised…but another wanted me to stay away from them. Maybe if I just stay to the side-none of them will be hurt. Maybe if I just be in the background of their lives-maybe then I'll be able to speak up.

Will they hate me?  
Maybe

Will they welcome me back?  
Only in my dreams...

But enough of me wallowing in my thoughts-it's time to get moving, I have to get to Vega, I need to make sure that Alex isn't doing anything stupid. I have to go see that Michael is ok. I need to see that Lana isn't mourning again.

Zipping up the duffle bag I threw it over my shoulder, it's time to go.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

By the end the whole house smelt of gasoline. I spread it throughout the halls, the kitchen; all the bedrooms. Nothing was spared. The only things I saved was that photo Alex asked about. The one that had mom, dad, Jacob, and me sitting in the front of the house taking a family photo. All of us were smiling; our parents' hands were on our shoulders. It reminded me of the good time we had together. Now it has become one of the last things I have to remember my family by. Because the rest will burn in fire that I will set,

Because I am never coming back, I am never going to see this place again…because it will soon be charred wood and grey ash. Nothing else will remain. No one else will die because of the curse that lay here. No one else will feel the pain my friends and I have suffered. They'll be free now-I'll be free…because now I know that I am free of that retched place.

Swiping the match I tossed it onto the clear gasoline and orange flames exploded throughout the halls. It trailed up to the bedrooms, it busted through the glass windows that I had stared through when I was a kid. The fire run towards the kitchen and the study area lighting everything up with fierce orange and yellow flames that danced to the wind. Quickly the whole house was engulfed, the wood was started to burn to a black charcoal.

The heat radiated off the house, they rose to the sky as grey smoke flew to the darkened sky.

It's time to say goodbye and good night. It's the end of the old and the beginning of the new; it's time to say I'm going home.

I'm going to Vega.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Before I burnt the house to a crisp I saved a faded blue bicycle. There used to baby blue flowers around the edges and a white logo on the side. Now you can barely tell it's was even a sapphire color. It had partially rusted and I had to replace the tires, the old ones had cloths. The grips were still in one piece though, and so were the gears, but my brother's bike wasn't so lucky.

The bright green color that it used to have had completely rusted away into a blackish color, the once shiny metal gears had be worn away by time and forgotten by others. Even the grips that once looked like mine had been torn to pieces. And the plastic petals were missing. It looked rather sad to be honest-it went from a mid condition bike to a piece of crap no one wants to look at.

And after the fire I could tell it had melted by the morbid heat that was pounded on it with full force.

Without out looking back I pedaled away, the sun was in the early stages of sinking into the earth. Burgundy, yellow, orange, and deep dark blue that almost looked black set coarse for nightfall. The white stars hadn't taken their role and neither has the bright moon.

Then without even feeling the time slip away from me I noticed the twinkling diamonds staring down at me. They seem to be brighter then from what I remember. I almost couldn't tell my family apart from the others. Jacob's star smiled as it told me where to go. The signs that had been there once before has since faded into an illegible reading. It was all up to luck now. Will I make it back to Vega?

I knew going there in plain day would be insane. They tracking systems were detect me too easily and their cameras would see me as plain as day. They'd ask questions-they'd take finger prints, blood samples, my name-they'd figure it out too easily. I can't let them know I'm alive. The government is corrupt there. I know it.

The Risen house is untrustworthy, and William is too faithful. He has to be hiding something. And as for his father Secretary Whele, he'll do anything to keep his power. He'll kill half of Vega to prove how much he's in control.

These thoughts swirl in my head as I biked, but to my surprise-I felt no exhaustion, my legs weren't burning from pedaling non-stop to the safe walls of Vega. It wasn't until I saw the bright shining lights that pierced through the thick black night that I knew I was home.

Hope and joy filled me, my excitement was untamable. My heart soared as happiness and relief soothed my worried mind. It hasn't changed-just the way I left it. It almost seems like a dream-like I'm not really here. Like it's too good to be true, I think I just going to wake up any minute from this dream back in my house.

I located the tunnel I would use to go star gazing when I was lonely and afraid. I'd go to remember that I hadn't lost it all…I'd go to see hope and to feel free. It's the way I made it through everything; it prevented me from going mad.

Riding through the dark tunnels sped up, everything inside of me shouted, _faster, faster, faster! _But it seemed that no matter how fast my feet went it wasn't quick enough. It felt like I was biking in place, the dark bricked walls never seemed to go away…and then I entered the city-and everything that I loved was there.

I literally jump off my bike and run to archangel corps building, I have to go see Alex and Michael-I have to know they are ok. I need to know they have someone…and when the time is right…I'll tell them I'm here.

When I get there one of people in the front desk looks at me strangely, they stop what they are doing to scan me and wonder what I am doing here. A man, he's in uniform like Alex's-I guess he's also a lieutenant. The man looked at me curiously and asks, "Can I help you with something?"  
I nod and catch my breath, my hand goes to push a hair behind my ear…but then I realize I don't have long hair anymore. My shoulder length milky chocolate hair was no longer there. It was now a short bowl cut that rested above my ears and swiped halfway across my forehead. The color was different also; it was now a bleach blonde shade. To be honest I'm not a fan of this color-but it looks good on Alex…just not on me.

"I-I want to sign up for the Archangel Corps." I informed.

"O-k," he replied and grabbed a clipboard; he handed it to me and asked, "Fill this out and we'll find a spot for you."  
"So what's your name?" The man wondered as he looked up and back at what he was doing.

Without looking at him I started, "Jan-"

Stopping I restarted, "Charlie,"

"Charlie Vince," I informed.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Alex wasn't going to lie to himself.

He missed Janet.

Every time he woke up in the morning, he thought he was going to see her again. He thought he would see he walking with Lana, talking about their day-or she'd be with Claire or her partner. And every time she wasn't…it just made the void in his heart even larger.

The solider told Lana about unfortunate demise…and right now-it looks like she doesn't even notice the difference. She walks around as if she is looking for something. In every alley and rode she stands on her tippy toes to see over the crowd to look and see for something. But Alex never questions why, he thinks that if he asks she'll break to pieces…or was it the other way around.

…Claire isn't doing too well either. At first glance she seems fine…she puts on her perfect princess smile and works through the day…but by the night the tears and the mourning break through her shield of fake. She lost the person who seemed to be there even when she wasn't. She lost the person who was always on her side even when no one else was. She missed the way Janet would just listen and not ask questions most of the time. Claire missed the way Janet would just act so selflessly-like it wasn't even a challenge or a choice to do the right thing. She'd just be there…and now she wasn't…

That's what tore at all of them…she was always there…and they just never seemed to notice that. They never seem to notice how much time Janet took up in their lives.

Alex walked through the silent hallways silent, enclosed in his thoughts, life is never going to cut him a break is it.

"So we got like 6 of these that we need to fix-those V1 and V0 things don't treat them well." One of the soldiers informed leading a new recruit, "And since you've got military training already-you'll be assigned to someone to guard when you're not needed here."  
"V1 and V0 ranked people are still apart of this city too", a womanly voice replied, "If we bothered letting them out of those retched tunnels once in awhile maybe those trucks wouldn't need so much fixing."  
The voice seemed so familiar…where had he heard it before? It was caring-yet careless. It wanted attention-yet it lingered in the shadows. The voice was soft and commanding-but it had a sarcastic ring at the end that made you relate to it and want to laugh with it.

"Hey," the deep male voice shrugged, "I don't make the rules-I just enforce them."  
The woman's pale hand scarcely touches the boring green-grey jeep as she studies the marks and damage, "Maybe if the rules weren't so harsh…they'd be nicer to you."  
"It doesn't work that way Charlie," he chuckled as he leaned up against another car and looked at her body. His eyes scanned over her over and over again as he tried to hid a sly smile forming on his face.

Charlie on the other hand, he face was like stone, her blonde hair sculpted her face perfectly. She looked effortless and timeless. Her ocean blue eyes looked at him but they showed no pleasure or love taking place or forming in them. They were simply only looking at them because they had to…and then her gaze landed on Alex.

…and then she looked relived. Her posture seemed to lighten, her eyes filled with happiness and longing. Charlie looked at him like as if she had seen him before and known him forever. A small friendly smile formed on her face, she looked so renewed almost-as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

In that moment Alex almost recognized her-he thought he saw a long lost friend that had been here the whole entire time. His heart lurched as he stood still, lost in the moment…but then he remembered…Janet was dead. Janet died where she began…she's with her parents now…and her brother.

Without a word Alex turned away, he didn't want to give himself a sense of false hope…but little did he know some had already formed inside.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Staring up at the cars inside I saw several pipes banged up, and the battery was partially sliced. I already replaced the sliced tire, and rotated them around. Now I just have to fix the inside.

Before you ask-again-my father taught me. We broke down a lot when he was teaching me to drive it. At that time I didn't think I'd ever really need those skills…but I guess I didn't know much about the world back then…hell I barely know it now. It's been difficult to understand it lately-I mean-like wouldn't you be confused on how the world works if you came back from the dead?  
Pulled from my inner thoughts, someone kicked my shoe, "Ey, Vince-you're needed in the hospital."

Sighing I pushed myself out from under the car and put my tools away in my bag, "What do they need?"

"They said some of their things aren't working right and they need someone to fix em." He informed.

"Of course they do," I said as stood up.

Scott chuckled, "Hey-better then staring at those cars all day."  
"Yes-I exchange damage vehicles for life support systems-yes what an upgrade." I replied rolling my eyes.

The solider laughed as he gripped his gun, "I'll tell them you're heading over."

"Not like I got anything else to do."

**OOOO**

Stepping into the sterile environment I saw several people sleeping, they eyes closed as their chests moves up and down to their breathing. The monitor beeped the beat of their heart and bags of ' hung on metal poles that had tubing that stuck in their arms giving them everything that they need to survive.

Several nurses walked around to check on them, they would smile and ask if they were feeling well and sometimes hand them that crap jello. Silently I walked to a doctor that was standing in the middle of the isle. He looked at his board filling in boxes and writing things about his patient's condition.

Tapping him on the shoulder he looked at me and a spark of recognize flared through him…but them a flame of sadness replaced it, "Oh…hello-you must be the mechanic they sent."  
I nod and he pointed at one of the non-beeping machines, "That monitor started acting up an hour or so ago."

"Got it," I replied, and put my hands on the pale white plastic computerized item.

Upon examination I saw a few of the wires had gone bad, the batteries were depleted, and one of the microchips was corrupt. I surprised that this hasn't acted up. Instead of fixing it-I just came to the conclusion that it's be easier to just order a new one.

Closing I unplugged the machine and then grasped my walkie-talkie, "Hey-I'm going to need a new heart monitor for the east wing end hospital."  
"Got it Vince," a filtered voice replied, "A new one will be there in a day or so."  
"Thanks Robby," I replied.

"Hey-anything for your pretty eyes Charlie." He flirted.

"Oh shut up," I joked and turned it off.

Looking over at the doctor he is talking to one of the street vendors, Louis I think his name is. The doctor's eyes are full of terror as he talks to him, but Louis-he has a devilish gleam in his. With that I get suspicious; I question whether Louis is really Louis right now. I've always wondered if angels can posses other angels…and now I wish I wasn't right.

Cautiously I follow them and look for my pistol in my bag,

…because something is not right,

Quietly I trail them, hoping that what ever is going to happen isn't what I think it is.

Then without warning Louis wraps his hand around the doctor's throat and lifted up an inch or so off the ground. The doctor struggled to breathe; he struggled to get out of the choke hold,

"G-Gabr-iel," he sputtered, "I-I-I didn't mean-"

"Oh," Louis hissed, "You dare speak of me behind my back and speak to your friends about me?"  
"I-I-"

"You know what," Gabriel replied, "I'll kill you and then I'll put you on show for _everyone_ to see."  
Without a second thought I entered the room gun pointed at Gabriel, "Let him go,"  
Louis body looked at me surprised, "I said let him go before I blast your brains out."  
Why am I doing this? I shouldn't be trying to get in trouble-why am I even risking my life to save this guy? Why should I? I could just turn around, and shut the door behind me without a word and pretend this never even happened. Why can't I just do that? Why can't I just say no?

Because I can't just stand by, I can't just stand and watch someone get killed. I can't just watch and see-I have to attempt to save them.

The doctor's face is a bright red when Gabriel let go and looked at me as I rushed to the side of the man gasping for air, "V-Vince…just go…I-I can take care of m-yself."  
"I'm afraid you don't have a choice sir," I replied and looked towards possessed Luis, "And now for you.'  
He chuckled and took a step forward, "Do you know who I am?"  
I smiled, "Of course I do Gabriel."  
"Then shouldn't you be scared?" The archangel wondered as he unleashed his coal colored wings.

"Scared," I laughed, "All I see is a merchant who sells produce."  
Swiftly his hand gripped the cloth of my jacket, "You're going to regret you said that."  
Staring into his sky blue eyes he almost reminded me of my dad. My dad had blue eyes just like him; expect they never were full of hatred and fury. They never looked at me this way-these eyes loathed to look at me.

"Threats don't work unless you deliver," I pointed out, my voice doesn't even waver, "Deal your worst merchant,"  
Vocalizing his anger he pushes me across the room, I can't slow myself down so I end up smashing in the wall.

Pain exploded in the back of my head and my back, my pistol falls from my hand and clangs on the floor.

Gabriel kneels down to the doctor's level and smiles evilly gripping his throat once again, but I was faster. Quickly I went to the floor clenched my gun and fired it at Louis's body. The good in me hoped I hadn't hit him, the hopeful part of me wished that Gabriel had gotten the message and left…but another said it was just going to get worse. That this was just the beginning and I will have to do more in order to stop him,

"I told you to let him go," I repeated.

But the bullet barely grazed him…or should I say it barely fazed him?  
Standing there I was a target, black, knife like feathers flew at me. One grazed my cheek and another slit lower wrist, scarlet blood cascaded on to the floor. Pushing away the pain I fired 3 times, the sounds echoed through out the building. Reverberating against the walls the sound rang in my ears; looking up at my target he stood there with a burgundy liquid falling from his shoulder, Gabriel's free hand covered it while the thick liquid started to spill over his palm.

"Why are you standing there," he wondered, "Finish it."  
Those words repeat in my head over and over again, _finish it, finish it_. Why can't I do it? Why can't I shoot him?

Sighing I put my gun down and Gabriel chuckled, "You wonder why the humans are like this- it's because of pity- it's because of their hesitation. How can you win this war if you can't even kill me?"  
It was then I replied, "Because me killing you doesn't solve anything, kill the leader you make the thirst for revenge unquenchable…and for the record humans don't pity others-we look at me see something that we could make better. We see something and we know that there is a way that we can help. We see a chaotic world with danger and destruction and we do something about it-because you may be able to put us in cages, kill us, tell us we can't do it…but you can never take away our hope. You can never take away our stubbornness to accept defeat. You can never take away that, no matter how hard you try."  
"We'll see about that," Gabriel stated and with beautiful grace flew out the window with his black as night wings. It was almost memorizing to watch…but it he isn't as amazing as Michael.

Michael has a certain mystery about him, you can tell but you can't put your finger on it. He's handsome and dark; he can be a killer one moment and a lover when he wants to be. But he can't see it…he can't see that he's just as human as the rest of us. He can't see that he has a heart and emotions-and he's fragile and breakable just like us…and no one else can either. Only I can really see…I'm one of the only people he can't really threaten.

Without realizing it the doctor had come to me asking me all sorts of questions,

"Are you feeling light headed?" He wondered, "Can you feel your arm? Can you move it?"  
I nodded-but I don't know which to and he went into his doctor mode, "I need to take off your jacket-"

"No," I managed to say and pulled away from his grasp. I won't let him be at risk again. I can't let anyone be at risk again.

With a death like grip he took my shoulders, "I have to-"

"No-you'll be in danger-"

"Charlie," he said in a serious tone, "I have to, if I don't you'll die from blood loss-that feather cut a major artery-if I don't fix it-you'll bleed to death."  
When he said that my knees buckled and my vision blurred at the edges and I slid down the wall and onto the tile floor, "Y-you have t…to promise…n-not to…sh-ow or…te-ll… anyone."  
"About what," he asked putting his arms to support my upper back and legs.

"M-my tattoos…w-ait…d-don't you have that-thingy…that patient thingy?"

My mind was sluggish…the words I wanted to say were becoming simple…but not out of pain…to conserve energy.

"Patient confidentiality," he corrected, "Yeah, don't worry I'll take care of you-you'll be fine."  
It was then I oblivious to the world.

…

I was sitting in a chair I felt my long hair being combed out and a slow song being hummed in my ear. There was no world around me just a bright white that shined in my eyes; slowly I felt my hair being tightly braided.

I felt calm and loved, I memorized the tune I was hearing and tapped my fingers softly on my legs to the beat.

Then it was done and the chair was twirled to see a woman that face was blurred…but her voice…it is so familiar. The tune stopped abruptly and kind, soft chuckle followed it with a light, caring voice said, "You were brave today my little savior, I am proud of you."  
I smiled and hugged the blurred figure, "I miss you mommy, why can't you come back with me?"  
A tear escape me as I held her tighter not wanting to let go but the grip the woman had was nothing but comforting and soothing, "I can't dear, only you are able to go back…but tell your father I love him…and I miss him too."  
"Anything for you," I replied as that world faded away into nothing and I awoke to the world I'll always recognize.

**OOOOOO  
**I've really got to stop finding ways to wake up in a secluded area of a hospital. I've only been here for like two days and I'm already in the hospital. Geez, it's really depressing actually, can't I stay out of trouble for more then a week? Or can trouble just take a hint and leave me alone.

Sitting up I examined myself I saw the ancient tattoos that were handed down to me by my father. My fingers lightly traced some of the shapes as I tried to read them. The language they were written in was long forgotten, nobody knows what it means-except Alex. The tattoos spoke to him; they never speak to me really. They don't really help me either.

"Yes they do," a deep almost monotone voice replied.

Silently I curse to myself, great he's back. Throwing the thin hospital sheets over my side I place my bare feet on the cold tile floor, "Oh shut up."  
"You did a stupid, barbaric thing last night." My imaginary Michael stated, "Challenging my brother will only make things worse."  
I shrugged as I put my uniform on, "What was I suppose to do? Leave him to die?"  
"You can't save everyone." He pointed out.

"But I can try," I replied looking over at my shoulder.

The imaginary version of him filled my heart with hope; he still had his brown leather jacket that went down to his ankles. Michael's tough, emotionless face still looked the same from when I last saw it. His perfect posture is still unchanged. But his dark chocolate eyes are still familiar to me, they still can make me smile, they still make me remember what I have. They make me wish I could still see them still…but I know in the real world…I know that they are full of sadness and mourning.

Lacing up my shoes I continued my statement, "Besides, what would the council think if they found dead angels hanging from buildings. It wouldn't reflect you very well."  
"You shouldn't worry about me." Michael said.

"But I do anyway," I chuckled, "Someone has to,"  
Standing up I walked towards the door, "Aren't you going to offer me some sage advice and say I should wait for the doctor?"  
"We both know Janet you wouldn't listen to me even if I did." He pointed out.

I chuckled, I'd say goodbye…because he already knows that I am thinking.

**OOOOO**

The doctor and I agreed to say that the incident was just a rouge patient that attacked and has a sharp object. He promised to keep my secret and I'll keep his. We went our separate ways after that and agreed to not tell anyone about Gabriel. It would send the whole city into a panic. We just need to watch for his next targets and make sure it doesn't happen again.

But right now that doesn't matter, right now all I have to do is avoid doing what ever I normally do…which I think I'm doing good at? Well at the moment presently…what wouldn't I do? I don't typically go find trouble…it's more of a…I mean…like I've probably said it a thousand times-but it so very good at finding me.  
I've gotten out of work recently and it's still day time. Typically I'm still protecting the princess at this time, or I'm with Lana.

…

Lana.

Oh my God, how have I forgotten about her? I'm gone for a little over a week and I forget about my rock? How can I do that? She must be worried sick. Can you imagine the pain she is going through? Oh I'm a horrible person.

A sense of urgency pierced through me, I need to find Lana. She needs to know that I'm still alive. She can keep a secret. I know she can. She needs to know she isn't alone. Alex and Michael have each other, and they all have other people to lean on…but Lana she has no one…maybe Claire…but she's been so busy with the wedding and Vega-she has no time to give to a grieving heart.

Trying not to give my intentions away I walked on the sidewalk looking for her, trying to see if Lana was out. She has to be…no one would let her stay in that room all day…would they?

"Listen Lana," I heard Alex start, "I know how close you and Janet were…if you need someone to talk to-"

"I'm fine Alex," she assured him as she stood on her toes to see over the large crowd, "Shouldn't you be with Michael or protecting something?"  
He sighed and looked away, but didn't say anything else. I chuckled and stood still, Lana's puppy dog eyes, they're lethal to anyone with a soft heart. I should know-I've caved into the many times. When Alex left I silently continued on my way as my heart filled with joy and excitement.

My pace quickened and I caught up with her and pulled her aside.

Lana's whole body became rigid as she looked up at me with fear filled eyes. My hand caringly caressed her face as a single tear rolled down her face. She smiled as she hugged me. Returning the action I leaned over and rested my head on her soft red hair and smelled a soft strawberry scent mixed with lemon twist. I grasped a hand full of it as breathed, "I'm back-I'm back,"  
"I-I was looking for you…" she cried as she clung to my uniform, "I was beginning to think you weren't going to come back."  
"No, I always come back…I'll always come back…" I whispered as I stepped backward and looked at her.

Lana's face was a mix of relief and gladness as tears of happiness streamed down her face. Oh how much I've missed her. I've missed seeing her pale face and her long auburn hair.

But then I realized…I was dead…I died…

A darkness settled over my heart and I looked away full of guilt and remorse, "I should get you back to house Risen; your absence will be noticed."  
"And you don't think your absence is noticed?" Lana accused, "You don't think people cared about you-you don't think that people would miss you when you are gone?"

"Knowing me is dangerous Lana," I replied and eyed her, "You have no idea how much I've wanted to go to everyone I've gotten close to and say I'm not gone? Do you have any idea how much I've wanted to just waltz in to House Risen and just smile and make everything better?! Well the world doesn't work like that Lana!"  
Lana looked down at her feet and tried to hold back the tears. I could see the clear liquid drip down her face and onto the dark colored alleyway floor. She looked up at me with her ocean green eyes reddened by her saddened deposition. A guilt wave crashed upon me, I tried to wave it off…because I know I'm right. I know that the scars I left behind are still fresh and stinging; they haven't had time to heal or to be forgotten. They need more then a few days or weeks-they need help to heal…but I know scars will never fully mend.

My hand found hers and I led her out of the alleyway, and began our walk to the Risen house.

**OOOOO  
**Being at the Risen House has brought many memories back, all the times I talked with Claire. The conversations that weren't always appropriate for work that I had with Carrie. Speaking of Carrie…I wonder how she doing? What have they told her so far-does she know I'm dead? Does she know what killed me? Does she know where I died?

Trying to not make myself feel more guilty then I already am-I focus on finding the princess-she has to be around here somewhere. I was tempted to yell out her name-but I restrained myself. Looking around I examined the walls, I knew every square inch of this place, all the tunnels-all halls, every room-pray room…what I have to know if there's an emergency that I can't handle, I need to know that there's a safe way out.

"Solider," a firm womanly voice question, "What are you doing?"  
I looked behind me to match a gaze of a flawless princess, "Princess Claire,"  
I can't lie, it's great to see her again. Her amazing long brown hair was braided in a circle around her head. Not a strand is out of place-the make-up on her face looks like it grows naturally. Pinks and nude skin tones, purples and black mascara-Claire looked one word…breathless.

"What are you doing here?" The princess wondered as she crossed her arms and glanced down at Lana.

My eyes looked towards Lana and then back up the beautiful blue enchanting eyes of Claire, "Um-Lana lost her way at the market-I thought I would help her back."  
The princess still didn't trust me, "How did you get in here?"  
I shrugged and pointed, "Walked through the door,"

She chuckled and her eyes again looked at Lana, protectively-like a mother protecting her child, "It was nice meeting you,"

"You too Princess," I replied and walked away.

It pained me to do so though, it broke my heart to look at her and not joke around like I usually do. It's hard not to just let all my walls down and just smile and laugh with her. It's almost impossible to not hug her and tell her everything is going to be alright like I could do with Lana.

I sighed as I held back my tears of regret.

Breathing deeply I pushed back the wave of emotions that were threatening to take control. Oh how am I going to do this? If I can barely stop myself from crying when I leave the princess and Lana…how on Earth will I ever be able to face Michael and Alex? The task is daunting…and I have still have a long way to go…almost seems impossible right now. I don't think I'll make it. I don't think I'll make it past a month without telling Claire-hell I barely made it two weeks without telling Lana. She can keep secrets better then me.

Finally I heard in my ear piece-yeah I finally got one…the last one got burned…I think. Time to go to work,

**OOOOO**

My lungs burned and my muscles felt like they were on fire. My feet hurt and my legs only were barely following commands. I wanted to stop, I really wanted to stop. Please let me stop; that's what every bone in my body begged me to do. But I gritted my teeth and continued on.

"Ok stop," the consol allowed as she stopped to catch her breath.

Finally, I breathed in and out to let my lungs rest. Placing my noodle arms on my head I felt my heart beat slowly return to its normal pace and my lungs felt less like bricks. I wish I didn't regret working out afterwards…because I feel like I am dying.

Looking up I felt my heart stop, I saw the doctor with his black feathered wings hang dead around him. There were two other soldiers, they hung their, their bodies like rag dolls, and their coal colored wings were by their side. For the first time in a while I'm speechless…how is anyone this much of a monster? How can anyone kill their own kind? This…this is wrong…how much of a psychopath do you have to be in order to kill someone and hang them up like their nothing?  
"Consol Becca," I said not taking an eye off of the corpses, "If you don't want to be questioned I'd highly recommend you don't look behind you."  
"What," she wondered as she looked up, "What is…it…"  
From my angle Becca looked mortified, her whole body became rigid. As she thinks in her mind, oh you have got to be kidding me. I can't blame her-I still can't believe what I am seeing…after all I did…after I exposed myself to save him-he still dies?

This is what separates us from the angels…no Gabriel-we have mercy-we have pity...because we're human. We see everything and we say 'I can make it better.' We see miserable and we can make it awesome. We want more, we want better, we want to be awesome. That is what separates us-they can't see what's good-they only see the bad.

Soon after I was questioned by some other soldiers, I gave my statement and waited for the crowd of confused people to go down.

Michael must be pissed off; the council is going to have some choice words with him. Then I saw the way he looked at Becca…so caring and adoringly, he loved her…the ache in my heart grew to a knife like pain. Why could he look at me that way? Why should I care? He doesn't know that I'm still alive. I bet he doesn't even care, again why should he? I was just a flight risk that turned out to be deadly, why am I even thinking about him still…I never had a chance with him. I'll never have a chance with him.

Looking at him now I realize how much I miss him, I miss his short brown hair. I miss his emotionless face and his perfect posture. I miss that he wouldn't get the jokes me and Alex would make. I miss the fact I couldn't just walk into his home and just start talking. Right now, I'm beginning to wonder if he ever listened. I hope he did. I hope he still does.

**OOOOOO**

I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling, a conflict of emotions kept waging war inside of me.

I need to tell Michael about his brother possessing Louis-but wouldn't that just compromise the people of Vega-like if they knew that Gabriel was roaming the streets of they're be chaos. Everyone would question their safety-if Gabriel can get in-can't others too? The people of Vega can't handle anymore lies that are released into the public, anymore-the people will break…but if I tell him he can solve it-Alex can fix it. He can perform those evictions things-maybe he can help Louis…but what if he can't? What if he fails and Gabriel continues on his rampage? What will we do then?

If I can stop a massacre before it happens shouldn't I prevent it? Shouldn't I…

Oh fuck it; I can't hide from him forever.

Hopping of the top bunk my bare feet slapped the cold tile floor and I cringed as I looked around hoping that I didn't wake anyone. After a few moments had passed I quickly got on my shoes and changed into something presentable. I bought some new cloths when I came back; I still have the previous money from being a normal soldier. Once I put them on I felt excited, I wanted to go see Michael…I was actually looking forward to it.

Walking out of the Archangel Corps housing I went to where my real journey began…with Michael.

**OOOOOOO**

Hesitantly I pressed the up button on elevator; I almost regretted my decision to come here, this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come-I should go back and forget about what had happened and what I saw. I should just go back and-

Then the door opened, the interior of Michael's room was beautiful, a large circular bed was in the middle, and the windows that were typically shut up during the day were open and let the cool night air flow in and lull you to sleep. Candles lit the surface and shined out into the line like singles of life and warmth.

Stepping into the dome I saw a man, bare chested, sitting on the edge of the bed sipping a glass of white whine or champagne. He stared out into the distance, longingly, not even noticing that I had entered. His grip increased on the glass as single clear dripped down his face and I chuckled.

As if I had declared war he stood up defensively and wiped his tear away, "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged as I placed my hands in my pockets, "Not a late night booty call if that's what you are wondering,"  
"Then why are you here?" Michael asked, "Who are you?"  
I opened my mouth but then closed it and chuckled, "Charlie Vince, I was with Console Becca when she discovered that angel."

I didn't want to move an inch when he was uncomfortable, I only wanted to stand there and just look at him forever, "I don't think you heard about it-but there was an incident at the hospital with the doctor. There was a report on it…but the report didn't correspond with the events that actually happened that night."  
Michael's stance loosened a little, as he became curious, he didn't have to speak to ask me to continue so I took a breath and started from the beginning. By the end Michael's eyes exposed his fear; this is what he had been hoping not to happen. I wished it hadn't, I wish that it didn't happen. As much as I wish I could turn back the clock and warn myself of future events…but I can't, the world doesn't stop turning and we can't stop living until we die.

After I finish my story I sat on the plush bed clothed with silk blankets that were soft to the touch. Sitting there I looked at the stars and saw the constellations take their place in the darkened sky. The moon didn't shine; it was a black circle that blended into the night like a black cat. Every star screamed their story, every one showed they had a purpose; all of them were old and some ancient-still trying to find their way home, and then I saw my family looking down at me…smiling. They told me to still hope, they told me that looking close isn't close enough, they said the world may seem tough-but it's only doing what it has to, to prepare you. What ever that means, I listened, and I watch, mesmerized.

I haven't been able to get out of these walls in weeks, I've been caught up in work and I've been called back more then planned. It's relaxing to just sit here and stare out into the void of the dark sky that doesn't seem to have an ending or a beginning.

"If this is true why didn't you tell anyone-why didn't you write it in the report?" Michael demanded.

I shrugged as I looked down at my entangled fingers, "The same reason you didn't say anything about the higher angels in the city-if the council knew they'd have a freak out and not to mention would have a ball trying to tarnish your record with the citizens of Vega." I muttered the last part, hoping he wouldn't hear it.

"I don't need anyone protecting my honor," the archangel stated, "I've done my fair share of bloodshed; I've killed plenty of your kind. There is no nobility left for me."

"Michael, everyone has done something they're not proud of." I pointed out, "I've done things I'm not proud of…but the truth is you weren't the man you were a thousand years ago-I'm not the woman I was a few weeks ago…" Taking a break I continued, "Changing your ways isn't easy, but changing you are is impossible."

"What's that supposed to me?" Michael wondered cocking his beautifully sculpted head.

"You may have been a monster in the past-only doing what you were told with great ease…but look at you…savoir of the human race. You created this city from the ground up-you took in the people that refused to take sides and gave them a safe and caring place. Sure you may have not given full details to the council-but you did the right thing. It doesn't matter what your brother says, you aren't the killer you used to be."  
"Used to be," he repeated, "Who says I've changed?"  
Standing up I looked him in the eye, "Actions speak louder then words."

As I started to leave something he said something that I never though I'd ever hear him say, "Janet, that was very stupid of you."  
Too startled to even dismiss his correct guess I replied, "What,"  
Taking a few steps closer he looked down at me and gave me a tiny smile as his soft warm finger traced my cheek, "Taking on my brother, it was a careless and an unnecessary risk."  
"How did you know?" I asked.  
"You can change your hair but you can not change yourself," Michael stated, "The birthmark behind your ear, Alex told me about it."  
I looked anywhere but in his eyes, I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to melt into his chocolate eyes; I didn't want to let my walls down again. I can't, I-

Suddenly a soft warm pressure began on my lips and it was tender and delicate-like as if I were going to breaking if it were a fraction harder. It started as a flame, a spark, a beginning; at first I didn't know how to react. My eyes were still wide opened from shock. For the first time I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do-my mind was completely blank.

…So I do what I think is right…I kiss back.

Wrapping my arms around his neck the kiss turned from curiosity to desperation, the tiny flame turned into a whirlpool of fire and longing. The small spark grew into celebration fireworks, and the beginning was made into a forever. All I wanted to be was here and be here forever, just here in this little infinite. Where I didn't need to be someone I wasn't, where I could be happy, where I didn't have to worry about the outside or doing something stupid…all I had to do was repeat the actions Michael did.

With Michael's heat and arms around me, I felt a sensation I've never felt before-I can't explain it. It was way beyond happiness-way beyond love…its perfect…there are no other words to describe it…no other words can describe it right. It's perfect…

For the first time in forever…I felt loved.

**Awww...****Ok be honest-how long have you been waiting just waiting for that moment to happen? Don't lie to yourself-you've been fantasizing about it. Anyway-since the season ended like on cliffhanger-I think the next one will be maybe the last one. Not forever...I'll probably just make up some stuff to fill in the spaces between seasons. Some fluff, some random things here and there-you know.  
So-I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for favoriting it and following it. I really appreciate it, so again it'll take longer then usual because I have a life-so if it's not up in less then a week-don't be mad. Anyway-I hope you enjoyed this one-I know I did-so yeah-stay awesome my friends.-cupcakekiller12 **


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